Subject: "It's all right. Nobody is judging you."
Author:
Posted on: 2015-04-26 13:55:00 UTC
"The day where someone isn't affected by what you went though is the day they've gone mad," said Victoria. "Come on, now. It's okay."
Maxwell looked at Zeb quizzically. "What kind of person d'you think we'd be if we were giving Bleeproducts to children? That's stuff for big agents, not lil' ones!"
He sounded rather distraught. "I keep apologizing for winning and he won't hear any of it!"
Buck moved around the Aura Pokémon, who turned on the spot to hide his face from the probing Skiddo. "Did Zeb actually knock some humility into you?"
"It's not humility," growled Owen, suppressing the urge to shout. "Stop prying."
"Oh. What is it then? Humiliation? Respect for others? Something that might make you less of an ass?"
"Final warning. Stop prying." bolts of Aura crackled around Owen's paws. Oblivious or unintimidated, Buck continued.
"Go on," said Buck, getting into a ready position in preparation for what was coming next. "Tell me that he took you down a notch or two. You needed that, you pompous bullying turd--"
Owen howled and swung an arm at Buck, who ducked under the blow and headbutted the Lucario right under his chest spike. Owen was knocked to the ground, wheezing, and Buck retreated a few paces back. The pair silently stared at each other in silence for a few seconds before dashing forward and colliding again-- again, Owen was sent flying back. He landed hard on his back but pushed himself up as quickly as he could just in time to be body slammed by Buck.
"You've gone soft!" said Buck as he disengaged. "Did Zeb break you or something?"
Owen howled again and sprinted forward, this time managing to land a solid kick on Buck's flank. Something cracked in the Skiddo's chest area. The winded Skiddo stumbled around and Owen took advantage of the opening to blast Buck with an Aura Sphere. Buck was sent flying back a couple of metres backwards, landed hard, and rolled to a stop in the grass. Before Owen could cross the distance between him and his partner a dark blur leapt out of the grass and clawed at his him, hissing savagely. The Lucario yelled in surprise and grabbed Tacitus with both paws, spun, and threw the Zorua away in one fluid motion. "Stay out of this! This isn't your fight!" yelled Owen.
Meanwhile, Buck had found his footing again and faced Owen. He pawed the ground with a hoof, ready to charge. "It's about time somebody taught you a lesson, Owen," said Buck. "You became absolutely insufferable ever since we came here. I don't remember you being this unpleasant in Kalos. What happened?"
Owen adopted a ready stance. "You wouldn't understand, Buck."
"Try me. You think I'm stupid, don't you?"
"Well, you certainly look the part."
Buck yelled incoherently and charged. Owen dashed forward to meet him.
* * *
Meryem was dragged out of her conversation with the strange woman by the sound of fighting. She looked around and saw Buck toss Owen into the air with a powerful headbutt.
"Oh, what the hell."
Rina lunged forward and somehow managed to grab Owen around the middle, while Zeb darted forward and met Buck head-on, bracing himself for eventual impact.
...and fell to the ground, trapped under Rina's tackle. He squirmed a bit but stopped once he realized who was holding him. "Let. Go."
Buck simply dropped to the ground and let Zeb sail harmlessly overhead. "Woah, chill!" he called to the Luxray. "I'm only defending myself. Owen started it."
"I don't care who started it. I'm here to finish it."
Buck and Owen turned to look at the newcomer. Meryem brandished each Pokémon's Poké Ball at the respective 'mon. "Return. Now." The Skiddo and the Lucario were sublimated into a stream of red energy and were absorbed by their capsules. The Muslim woman angrily pocketed the Poké Balls and dusted herself off. "Are you both OK?" she asked Zeb and Rina. "Is anyone hurt? I'm so, so sorry. It's totally my fault and I shouldn't have let them out of my sight."
A portal opened nearby, letting through a Gardevoir, a Jolteon, and a tall brown-haired man with glasses. The trio approached Meryem, who promptly handed over Buck and Owen to the man. "I don't know what happened. One minute they were fine, the next they were beating the tar out of each other."
"Thank you, Meryem," said Benoît. "Come on. Let's go and find out what happened. Victoria, Maxwell, can you question these two?"
"Yes, sir!" said Maxwell and Victoria as their human colleagues walked off to the side. Victoria presented the Assassins with a badge pulled out of the bulletproof vest she wore. "Officers Victoria and Maxwell, DIA Patrol. We'd like to know what happened here."
"It's a weird story." He shuffled his paws, looking sheepish. "Owen and I had a battle, but I... I think he got upset with himself when I won, and then he and Buck started yelling at each other and started actually fighting? Rina and I tried to stop them, but that lady had them return to their Poké Balls before anything happened."
Rina, meanwhile, got up from the ground, brushing dirt off her coat. She eyed Maxwell like she wanted to cuddle him, but (perhaps luckily) didn't act on it. Instead, she nodded at Zeb's story. "I could feel the Lucario radiating a lot of hate when I tackled him," she said, sounding sheepish.
He looked at Victoria. "Owen... hates Buck? What? I don't understand. Those two are, like, best buddies. How can they just hate each other?"
The Gardevoir sighed. "So Owen finally blew a fuse. It was only a matter of time, really." She looked at Zeb. "Tell me... how did you beat Owen? He runs Earthquake... it should've been a fairly one-sided battle. Do you know Fire Fang? Double Kick?"
Maxwell approached Rina, frowning. "Miss? Miss? How did you know it was hate? Are you, like, an Aura reader too? Oh, tell me this isn't true! I thought Owen liked us! I thought we were friends!"
- - -
((Last post for the night.))
Zeb's ears flicked. "My Intimidate cut his Attack, so he wasn't able to deal as much damage as normal. He got off an Earthquake, but I used Thunder Wave... and it was so strong he wasn't able to move when I used Thunder Fang. Er, several times."
Rina knelt down and held out her hand to Maxwell, smiling faintly. "No, not an Aura reader. Just a Time Lord, minor telepathic ability." She shook her head. "Don't worry, I don't think Owen hates you— it felt more like it was directed at himself."
---
((Nighty-night. Good luck with your test!))
"So... you mauled him to a KO while he couldn't move?" The Gardevoir shifted uncomfortably in her bulletproof vest. "I bet he took his kevlar off, too. What an idiot..." She rubbed her eyes. "It's... difficult to describe what happened to Owen. He became very, very different when we started woking here. More... aggressive. Snappy. I used to be his confidant, you know. And now he hardly ever speaks to me anymore." She looked over her shoulder, where Meryem and Benoît had let Buck out of his Poké Ball and were talking to him. "Did either of them get hurt? Owen or Buck tend not to hold back."
Maxwell placed a paw in Rina's hand. "But why does Owen hate himself? He's like, the strongest out of all of us and doesn't get scared or anything. It's not like he's lacking in self-confidence or anything."
Tacitus chose this moment to walk up to Maxwell and Rina. He bowed his head as a greeting and wrote a message for the Jolteon.
"Ever heard of narcissism? Owen probably has it."
Maxwell squinted at the words, silently mouthing each one to himself as his eyes scanned the paper. "Um, I don't think so. Is it contagious or something?"
"N-no! I never meant to hurt him!" he cried. "I wouldn't want to do that! He did take off his vest, but what good would that have done?" Zeb crouched low to the ground, head bowed and tail tucked between his legs. "And Rina and I stopped them before they could too much damage... I hope. I'm so sorry! "
Rina laughed weakly. "No, I don't think it's contagious. It's basically an obsession with yourself." She considered, then slowly said, "I suppose that might have been part of what feelings I got..."
...and put a hand on his shoulders. "There, there. I was just asking that because our vests have got ceramic plating inserts. They could've softened the blows you dealt him. I know that you would never hurt anything that wasn't actually dangerous. You did well breaking up the fight. I thank you for that." The Embrace Pokémon patted Zeb's shoulders in what she hoped was a comforting way. "Meryem and Ben are going to have a talk with Owen and he'll be back to his old self in no time. Don't worry," she said. "Yeah. Don't worry. He's going to be fine. I hope."
Tacitus tilted his head to the side. He looked down and jotted a few notes in his book. He flipped to a new page and wrote "Never met Owen before the PPC. Maxwell: judging by your reaction, narcissism wasn't one of Owen's character traits before the PPC, correct? Tell me what he was like before."
Maxwell once again slowly deciphered the message and then cleared his throat. "Uh, well. Owen is-- was... brave, I guess. He always was the first one sent out. He liked to fight but I don't think that changed. I know that he really believed in himself and that he acted like the team shield. But that's not bad, is it? He used to talk to Vicky a lot and goof off with Buck and me-- waitaminute, he actually doesn't do that anymore!" Maxwell's face scrunched up. "Yeah, he totally ditched us!"
Tacitus listened carefully, adding to his notes.
Zeb looked up at Victoria. "This place... it has a way of changing people and I don't like it. What if he never gets better?"
Rina, not really knowing what to say, carefully put a hand on Maxw's head, scratching behind his ears in the hope he wouldn't take offense.
"Then... we lose a good friend. That's that." She drew her knees to her chest and looked up at the pristine blue sky. "I suppose we should treasure each moment that we spend with the people we care about. Everything happens so suddenly around here. One day we can enjoy a break with a colleague, the next day they wind up in FicPsych, Medical or... worse." Victoria looked back at Zeb. "It just seems like it's a matter of time. Bad things happen to everyone around here. I just hope that I have the strength to face the troubles when they happen."Maxw Maxwell grinned and leaned towards Rina's hand as she scratched behind his ears. "Ohh! I love scratchies!" he said.
"From cross to 'scratchies' in two seconds. Impressive." wrote Tacitus. He looked at Rina. "I don't thing that Zeb told you about this yet. Apparently you being assigned Rose Potter was a mistake, pure and simple. A Special Operations Division team was supposed to be assigned the mission instead. Perhaps you should change department, Dives. SOD could use someone of your talent."
"A mistake?" she whispered, going pale. Her hand dropped to her stomach, to her stomach, knuckles white. "That's all it was? A mistake? All of this could have been avoided, because it was a mistake?" She began to tremble.
- - -
((Not really sure how to respond to Victoria's statement. And oh dear, Rina's going to lose it.))
Victoria nudged Zeb. "Um, Zeb? I think your partner needs you," she said, pointing at the stricken Time Lady. The Gardevoir rose to her feet and moved towards Rina, wringing her hands in worry.
Maxwell immediately noticed the change in Rina's demeanour and looked at Tacitus. "What did you tell her?"
Tacitus pushed his notebook towards the Jolteon, who read the message. Maxwell's eyes narrowed. "B-but... Look at her! That's mean, Tacitus!"
The Zorua looked indignant as he scribbled a note. "She has the right to know. Zeb would've told her anyways. I had no idea that she would react this way."
"Do something. Now."
Tacitus rolled his eyes and sighed. "Like what."
Maxwell grumbled and went over to Rina and nuzzled her side. "It's gonna be all right, Miss. It's... uh... we can... um... be there for you?"
"Rina!" he yelled, running over to her, tripping over his paws in his haste.
Rina put her head to her knees, eyes watering as the events of Rose Potter flashed through her mind. The blinding pain, the blood, the horrifying sensation of life draining away, and then the pain of every molecule in her body ripping apart and reforming. A mistake. All because of a mistake. She wrapped her arms around her knees, rocking back and forth.
Zeb approached, took one look at Rina, and whirled on the others. "What did you tell her?" he snarled.
"Hey, don't look at me! It was all him!" squeaked the Jolteon.
Tacitus didn't flinch. He pushed his notebook towards Zeb and then moved towards the Time Lady and put a paw on her shin, trying to get a better look at her face. Maxwell nervously danced on the spot, unsure what to do. "Whatdowedowhatdowedowwhatdowedo?" He looked at Zeb. "What do we do?"
He nuzzled Rina, letting her bury her fingers in his mane. "It's alright, Rina, you're safe. We're not in Rose Potter anymore. You're alive and the pain's over." He continued to whisper this to her, wishing that there was something else he could do.
He made eye contact with Victoria. Nothing to do but wait for her to calm down, he thought at her.
She put an arm over the Time Lady's back and dug around her belt pouch with her free hand. She pulled out a bar of chocolate and offered it to Rina. "Here, Miss. Take this. I usually give this to the Nursery kids when I go and play with them but... you really need it."
Maxwell froze when he saw the chocolate bar come out. "Can... can I have-- mmph!" Tacitus had put a paw on the DIA officer's nose and shook his head.
"It's not Bleepolate, is it?" he asked, sniffing at it warily and moving away Rina's hand that had reached out. Satisfied it wasn't, Zeb let go of her hand and let her take it.
Rina took a nibble, swallowed, and hiccuped. "T-thank you. I'm s-sorry," she mumbled. "Should know better by n-now. Crying doesn't help..."
"The day where someone isn't affected by what you went though is the day they've gone mad," said Victoria. "Come on, now. It's okay."
Maxwell looked at Zeb quizzically. "What kind of person d'you think we'd be if we were giving Bleeproducts to children? That's stuff for big agents, not lil' ones!"
"I know, I know..." she clenched and unclenched her fingers, finally relaxing. "Thank you."
Zeb shrugged. "I haven't been here very long, but it seems like there's Bleep in everything. Can't be too careful; Rina's very allergic."
"A friend of a friend had a small breakdown after doing a Intel run for a grimdark fic. FicPsych diagnosed him with an acute stress reaction and took him off duty for a week. Don't hesitate to seek out help if you feel alone or helpless," she said.
Maxwell went "hm" and looked away. "Yeah, I hear that there are some cases of allergy to Bleepstuffs in the PPC. I don't envy them."
Rina shook her head vehemently; Zeb had to suck to avoid being smacked by her ponytail. "Not going to FicPsych. I'm done with people mucking up my head even more."
The note read: "You are aware that FicPsych is the only branch of HQ that is qualified for helping cases like yours? Refusing treatment for your trauma-- physical or mental-- isn't healthy." Tacitus held the note in his mouth, looking flatly at Rina.
Zeb looked sheepish. "Let's just say it ended with her breaking the 'crazy shrink's' nose and running out of there yelling about mind rape."
"Crazy, all of them," Rina muttered. "They're not any better than the lunatics from World One."
"Um, if you're not going to see the people that can help you, then how are you going to get better? I don't get it. It's like breaking a leg but, like, not wanting to see the doctor because you don't trust them," said the Jolteon. "And then your leg is still busted and it might look healed on the outside but inside it's too weak to let you walk and then you stumble around everywhere and you avoid doing anything physical because of your gimp leg and then you develop this weird lifestyle where everything is based on avoiding stress on your leg and you can't live without thinking about your leg because it's just taken over your entire life and--"
"Enough, Maxwell. She understands," said Victoria. "But..." The Gardevoir turned to Rina. "He has a point. You won't get better on your own."
"It's not that I can't," she whispered, drawing her knees to her chest. "I won't. I won't go back. I can get better on my own, this isn't like before! You can't make me!"
"That's it." Zeb sat down on his haunches and swatted Rina around the head with his tail. "You won't listen to me, and you aren't listening to them. Are we going to have to drag you back to FicPsych? Because so help me, I—"
"No!" Rina nearly shrieked. "No! You can't take me back there! Please!"
- - -
((Your broken leg analogy is wonderful, and I just wish more people saw mental illness like that. I think part of the reason I resisted therapy for so long when I was younger was because I didn't want the stigma attached to it. And it's why people don't get the help they need. I just hope this attitude toward mental illnesses can be changed.
And yeah. Rina's been on the edge of snapping for a while, and Rose just pushed her a little bit closer. One more thing like that could send her over. Thing is, though? At the point in her life where her experiences and mine diverged, we hadn't yet realized therapy is a good thing. I learned it. She... hasn't.))
"Nobody is forcing you to go anywhere. It's just that... well... you're not helping yourself here. And we want you to get better: you're our friend-- yes, you too, Tacitus!" she added when the Zorua shrugged. "You're going to help a friend, right? Please ask Madam to compile a list of FicPsych's best for Agent Dives' perusal. We're going to give her all the tools and encouragement she needs-- but the choice is hers. She will do it herself, for herself."
Maxwell nodded. "Yeah. Don't walk on a broken leg. Do it for me? Pretty please?" He said as he used Baby-Doll Eyes on Rina.
- - -
((I actually based it off a girl I knew who broke a leg in 11th grade. She had a cast and crutches and everything and was instructed to not put any weight on her foot for many, many months. She decided that she didn't need to listen to the doctor's advice and stopped coming to school with crutches after a month. Towards the end of the year she didn't need the cast anymore-- but her leg didn't seem to have healed properly and she walked with a limp. Permanent damage caused by poor decision making-- don't fall for it, guys.))
She was lying through her teeth, but they didn't need to know that.
Zeb, at least, seemed appeased. His ears flicked forward and he nuzzled her hand again. "Thank you!" he said happily. "And please promise you won't break your therapist's nose this time?"
"Sure, no problem." Because there bloody won't be a next time, she added silently.
There was definitely something off about Rina but the Gardevoir couldn't put her finger on it. She went "hm" and looked at Tacitus, who had repositioned himself behind Rina. He quickly wrote "Honest?" on his notepad and showed it to Victoria. She shook her head. "Warn." wrote Tacitus in response.
"We'll be keeping an eye out for you, Miss Dives," said Victoria. "Please understand that this isn't something that gets better by itself. Zeb?" she looked at the Luxray. "Keep a close eye on her. Make sure that she makes an effort to get help; Benoît and I once had to go and arrest an agent who snapped and had been lying about going to FicPsych." Victoria turned back to Rina. "This isn't something that people can hide for very long."
((I want my character to intervene here to help, but I feel like it will be like intruding from my part...))
((Apologies for taking so long to post - I've been dealing with some IRL stuff. Give me a bit and I'll continue on!))
((Is just that my thought train went like: "There's a psychiatrist in the courtyard, and she isn't doing anything about this? Come on! What kind of professional is she, if she isn't going to help someone who is going through a mental breakdown?"))