Subject: "I'm probably not the best person to ask."
Author:
Posted on: 2015-03-29 23:37:00 UTC
"I mean, my old self used to love the tomato soup. Dunno if I still do or not. Might as well give it a try, I guess. I mean, who can hate tomato soup?" Rina grinned. "Seriously, though, thank you so much for just letting me talk. It's nice to be able to ask questions without worrying about having my head bitten off."
"See, if I did get my hands on an escafil device, which would be a feat in and of itself, I'd have to either have fresh blood or directly touch my old self. Gotta have living DNA for it to work." Rina looked at the Guardsman, her eyes welling up. "Would it be possible to— to time travel back and I could get a sample? Old me wouldn't have to know, I can even neuralyze her and I wouldn't have any memory!" She clapped her hands together. "Yes, that could work! ...Couldn't it?"
"...almost anywhere in time and space," said the Guardsman, "so going back a few weeks ago in the PPC isn't totally out of the question. Besides, time works weirdly here. You're covered on that end. As for the device..." He scribbled an additional note his his booklet. "I can maybe place an equipment request though the DIA's Quartermaster. I'm gonna have to explain why I want a morph cube, yadda, yadda, yadda, but it's not totally out of the question. We'd need a morph-capable agent ready to operate it, though. I don't know any who are in HQ right now."
"Ilraen-Aroline-Fothergill, Implausible Crossovers. I met him when I first came here and looked up his reports afterwards. Oh, this is just perfect!"
Rina was about ready to start cheering when a thought struck her. "But then... I mean, if something happened again... It's be nice to have the backup, you know?" She bit her lip, suddenly looking uncertain. "Um, this is a lot to think about."
The Guardsman facepalmed. "Ugh, of course. You know when I said Time Lords had 'total recall'? Well, I'm an embarrassment to the entire race now. Hooray. Anyways... yeah! It seems like you got yourself a nice, convenient way out of your predicament. Maybe too convenient."
- - -
((Hold it right there, Emiran. You're going to make something go wrong.))
Rina smacked the Guardsman lightly on the arm, but her brow was furrowed. "Can you see others' timelines? Is it possible to pull this off? There's no 'fixed point in time' crap going on?"
((When in doubt, fall back to the basics.))
"Doubly so because this is the PPC. It's really, really vague because you're seeing all of these potential timelines at the same time but you can get a gut feeling for someone else's future. For example..." the Guardsman scanned the pub. His eyes settled on a nondescript young man sitting alone at a table. "The kinda ugly bowtie guy over there. Look at him. Think about his future. Can you see where he will be in one week's time? One year? Now, can you feel his far future bunching up like a bottleneck? That is a fixed point."
* * *
Gaspard was suddenly aware that two people were watching him. One was the Guardsman-- Mental note, check with him to see if he was still on board with the plan, thought the spy-- and the other he didn't recognize. The sudden attention made him feel uncomfortable.
then looked back at the Guardsman, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm doi—" She glanced back and suddenly felt it. Her mouth fell open. "Oh my god, that is weird."
"He doesn't look like it but somehow this guy is at the centre of a fixed point in time. If you plan on sticking around the PPC for... thirty-odd more years then I highly suggest you talk to him. If not, then forget him."
"I mean, I've got quite a lot to catch up on. Canons to reread. I don't know why, but not all my memories copied over properly." She scowled down at the table. "I can't remember the last time I forgot something. Ironic, isn't it?"
"So long as they're Notary-free, of course. I seriously need to start watching my back around her: I'm sure that she'll try to strangle me in red tape now that I know that she had a friend at some point in her life." The Guardsman shrugged. "I'll deal with it when it will happen, I guess. But for now..." He picked up a menu on a nearby table. "Let's see. All of the sandwiches are off-limits... Hrm. Got any recommendations?"
"I mean, my old self used to love the tomato soup. Dunno if I still do or not. Might as well give it a try, I guess. I mean, who can hate tomato soup?" Rina grinned. "Seriously, though, thank you so much for just letting me talk. It's nice to be able to ask questions without worrying about having my head bitten off."
Vallon looked mildly sheepish. "I kinda prefer when they're tossed in with a bunch of other stuff, like in salsa. Straight-up tomatoes, though? Not my thing."
"And anything is better than the old nutri-pills I used to swallow three times a day. Let's see..." The Guardsman waved down a passing waiter. "Excuse me! Yes, hello. I'd like to order... the tomato soup, a large meat lover's pizza, the barbecue wings, one basket of garlic bread-- no, make that two, please, the eggplant casserole, the large salad, balsamic vinegar on the side, please, and just water to drink." The Gallifreyan looked at the other two agents. "So, what are you guys having?"
- - -
((FOOD FOR THE FOOD LOVER))
"Um, I'll take the tomato soup as well, and, eh, a cup of Earl Grey. No Bleep, very allergic. Oh, and can you get a basket of Sweet Poffins for the Luxray at that table?" She pointed at Zeb.
Looking back at the Guardsman, she grinned. "Nutri-pills? Man, I can't blame you for wanting to eat everything you can."
She shifted in her seat. "Look, I've been thinking about how to ask you, but I figure there's no point beating around the bush, so I'm just gonna say it. You're a real nice guy, and I'm brand-new to this whole Time Lord thing. Would you... I mean, would you be willing to, y'know, show me the ropes? Even if I did manage to read every book on the subject, there's still a lot of stuff I'd need help with..." She swallowed, hearts pounding as she looked hopefully at the older Time Lord. "...Please?"
((Aw man, she's probably got the Sad Puppy look on, too.))
"I not sure what you want me to teach you about Time Lords: I mean we just breathe, walk around, and are mind-blowingly awesome compared to humans," said the Guardsman, "but yeah, I'm game. If you got any questions for me just head on down to DIA central and ask for me at the reception. If I'm not on duty I'll swing by and see what you need. If you don't have time for a visit..." The Time Lord scribbled a series of instructions on one of his notebook's pages. He ripped it out of the notebook and give it to Rina. "Just type this little line of code into your console's terminal window. It will activate a little subroutine that should get one of my partners' attention. Good old TB will take a message or patch you through to me lickety-split."
"Oh, thank you, thank you so much," she said, laughing with sheer giddiness. "I know a lot of this stuff is probably second nature to you, but I haven't the faintest when it comes to telepathy, and time sense, and probably a lot of other stuff I don't even know about." Her voice jumped up several notes and she grinned abashedly. "And regeneration aftereffects like you mentioned..."
((He's got no idea how much of a godsend he is, does he? XD))
"Steady on there, young lady. You're going to start hyperventilating if you keep this up," said the Guardsman. "Oh yeah, I totally forgot to ask: who's your partner? I suppose that they were the hero that turned you into a Time Lord, right?"
"And where in the name of all the authors he got the idea, I don't..." Her mouth suddenly fell open. "Oh my god, he actually remembered?" She began to laugh. "Sorry, it's just that fairly early into Rose Potter, I made a Doctor Who reference, and he didn't get it because he'd never seen the show before. I told him the basics, and mentioned that werepenguin guy. I had no idea he'd remember that!"
"I heard stories of him running around HQ. His reports are actually quite interesting," said the Guardsman, "but he left HQ four years before my arrival so I never got a chance to talk to him." The Guardsman studied Zeb from a distance. "So lion-boy over there... is he one of those Pokey-men? I saw a guy in Patrol command a quartet of them."
- - -
((Poe-kay-mon. Dammit dad, how many times do I have to repeat it?!))
((It's nice because she actually understands what my brother and I are talking about when Pokémon comes up. XD ))
"Yes, he's a Pokémon, a Luxray, to be exact." Rina caught Zeb's eye and he nodded at her, then returned to his companions. "So, how long have you been an agent? I have no idea when the werepenguin guy was here, so..." She shrugged. "I've been here for a little over a year."
"I fell into HQ a couple of days after the initial run of Day of the Doctor, " said the Guardsman. "My future partners found me smouldering at the base of Big Tree. I regenerated in front of their eyes, had a chat about where I was, and they hauled me to Medical. Naya and Terabyte both decided to show me the ropes and I've been hanging around ever since. Speaking of origin stories, where did you live on Earth? I already told you a bit about Gallifrey so why don't you tell me a bit about yourself?"
"Twenty-first century. I was a pretty average kid. Started reading to myself at three, but otherwise very normal. Liked reading, writing. Never imagined a place like the PPC existed until I fell in. No idea what happened— L-space, maybe?— but one morning when I was getting ready for school, a hole just opened up beneath my feet and I was dumped in the Cafeteria. Ilraen asked me if I was alright and I kind of fainted at that point."
Rina rubbed the back of her neck, looking sheepish. "I guess he took me to Medical, because the next thing I remember is waking up there. Doc said something about 'temporal-spacial displacement nausea' but I was otherwise fine. Started working that afternoon."
Valon's undivided attention was suddenly on Rina. "Have you ever been to Holiday World? Have you ever seen the Lazy Muncie video? How big a fan are you of Garfield?"
"Uh, yes, several times, no, and I prefer Calvin and Hobbes." She gave Valon an uncertain smile. "You from World One, or somewhere else?"
"I prefer C&H myself, but I just think it's funny that I once lived a couple hours away from Jim Davis. Course, when I joined the PPC, I lived an hour or two away from Bill Watterson. I've lived all over the place: Indiana, Maine, Arizona, Ohio, an omnidimensional accretion nexus..." On saying this, he looked around. "Huh... I wonder if I could find the Inventory here. I'd love to play poker with Sam and Max."
...and half-listened to the conversations around the pub. His eye caught Gaspard's from across the room. The spy returned the look and raised three fingers of his left hand, then pointed at himself. Meeting in three hours at his RC. The Guardsman discreetly nodded. Gaspard, satisfied, returned to his drink.
Eventually, the food arrived. Five waiters burdened with food made their way to the Time Lord's table and arranged the food around him. The Guardsman thanked them and promptly loaded his plate with a monstrous slab of pizza and a generous portion of salad. As he drizzled the greens with the vinegar, he asked Rina: "So... I know you're probably sick to death of having to retell your story but I really need to know. How exactly did you mission get to the point where you engaged the Sue and she tore you a new one? I thought DMS' unofficial motto was 'sneaky-beaky-like'. Was she just plain overpowered or were you trying to kill her with a paperclip?"
- - -
((So I play a lot of CS:GO.))
"Overpowered doesn't begin to cover it," she mumbled. "I don't know why the Flowers picked us, but we were sent into— into Rose Potter." Rina took a deep breath, trying to steady her shaking hands. "Zeb and I had killed her other five fics with no problem, but the last time, she caught us off-guard. Teleported in before we were ready. She kicked Zeb into a wall and..."
The memories came rushing back and Rina shuddered violently, wanting nothing more than to curl up in a ball under the table. "I— I got hit. Puncturing Curse right here." She gestured with a trembling hand, blinking hard. "A-and then there wasn't a whole lot of anything for a while. The next thing I remember is Zeb screaming about a remote and then suddenly I was regenerating."
She left out the part where she could remember bleeding out on the floor, never mind seeing her own intestines. People were trying to eat, after all.
Rina was fighting the urge to burst into tears. She was not a cryer, not in any regeneration. Not a cryer, not a cryer—
It was no good. She put her face in her hands, furiously wiping away the tears that she couldn't seem to stop.
((Traumatic experience + new body with unfamiliar hormones = not as much control as you'd like.))
...but stopped short. He didn't know if Rina would want a hug.
((Valon can't stand to see people cry. He wants to help, but he's just not sure how.))
The mini-Suu, apparently oblivious to Rina's freakout, started nuzzling her foot. Sumisu looked up expectantly at her.
The Guardsman immediately made his way towards Rina, taking care not to set a foot on the little goo mini that was gurgling by her feet. He put a hand on her shoulder and leaned in. "It's all right, child," he said, patting her shoulder. "Let it out; everyone gets the Shakes every now and then. This Rose girl-- she got you good but you came back stronger. That's how it is: they will try and they will fail. And... I'm sorry for bringing it up. It's a bit too soon, right? I'll shut up about it. There, there. You're with friends now and she's six feet under. You're okay."
The Time Lord looked at Valon for support. "Say something," he mouthed.
Valon gulped down a slice of his Buddhist pizza and reiterated his question. "Overpowered Sues? Considering what we killed cleaning up the mess, I'm guessing that yes, Rose was overpowered. And I know what overpowered Stus are like. I had to kill a replacement of a character who canonically survived a nuclear warhead. In a continuum that didn't have the materials to take him down. On my second mission. Yeah. Sure am glad that there was a slime nearby."
Sumisu had apparently rejoined Valon, and perked up at the mention of the canon she was based on.
"I loved a maid as fair as summer, with sunlight in her hair.
I loved a maid as red as autumn, with sunset in her hair.
I loved a maid as white as winter, with moonglow in her hair.
I loved a maid as... uh..." Valon paused. "... dammit, George R. R. Martin hasn't shown the whole song yet. Oh well, I'm pretty sure that the maid has flowers in her hair in the spring verse."
"I couldn't tell you if it's been half an hour or five of 'em. I also couldn't tell you the difference between fifty and twenty feet, so spacial awareness is probably a good thing to have too, assuming Time Lords get that."
"I'll have the Buddhist pizza, please."
To any blank stares, Valon responded "You know... make me one with everything?"
"Isn't Rayner's partner a shapeshifter?"
"And more importantly, did they acquire their shapeshifting abilities though the Andalite device? If not, they can't use the cube to give others the ability to morph."
"Andalite? I think there actually is one of those here. Isn't he partnered with that cranky DIC agent?"
