Welcome, welcome!

Subject: Welcome, welcome!
Author: Lilac Lielac
Posted on: 2012-10-18 00:57:00 UTC

Though it's less fixing what's actually there and more cathartically writing about kicking the ass of what we can't freaking stand, but yes. :D And we increase the amount of goodfic by bouncing writing off each other until it glows.

Have a... hmm... -rummages through pockets- Aha! How about a figurine of Arturia Pendragon? Guaranteed to be really awesome, since if you press the button on her back she yells, "EXSU... CALIBAAAAAA!"

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Hi! by hermione of vulcan on 2012-10-17 22:05:00 UTC Reply

Hello. I have been skulking around your wiki for a while now, reading missions and doing "research" for my Star Trek OFU, and I have come to the conclusion that you are awesome. It makes me sad how much fanfiction is bad, and it's great to find an organization devoted to fixing it.

Welcome to the dark side... by Kookija on 2012-10-29 09:52:00 UTC Reply

...we have cookies :3 All we ask is your complete devotion to bettering fics and authors alike!

~~Your soul would be nice as well~~
Hey there by Sevenswans on 2012-10-18 20:16:00 UTC Reply

Let's see... I gift you twine, a gel pen, and a handful of refrigerator magnets.
Ciao! by ThatOne on 2012-10-18 20:16:00 UTC Reply

Welcome a-Board the good ship PPC, where the fandoms are many and the sane are few. I feel that conclusion has enough backing to become a law or at least a theory, as you are not the first nor will you be the last to say it.

Using my proven/ concluded awesomeness, I grant you The Sporker's Guide to the Multiverse*, with tips on how to kill certain types of 'Sues and colorful illustrations describing how not to get killed by them. Good luck!

*Copyright ThatOne, 2012. TSGttM is in no way a parody or The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and all those claiming so will be thrown in the nearest available plothole.
Re: Hi! by Antigone68104 on 2012-10-18 14:51:00 UTC Reply

Hi, have some fudge!

Got a link for the ST OFU? I'd like to read it.

Here you go! by hermione of vulcan on 2012-10-19 01:52:00 UTC Reply

Here's the link to the OFU. Hope you like it. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8528580/1/The-Official-Fanfiction-Academy-of-Starfleet

Hello and Welcome and Things of That Ilk by SingingTheThunder on 2012-10-18 11:48:00 UTC Reply

As a Newbie welcome gift have a genuine exploded CAD. Perfect for tinkering.
Hi there!!! by Cyba Zero on 2012-10-18 10:05:00 UTC Reply

Ooh, a Star Trek OFU! Goody! I'll look forward to that one, then!

Also, if it helps, my agents (Cyba Zero and Eagrus Khan, DTE) are currently out on a Trekverse mission full of hilarious and horrendous spelling errors. If they make it back without being assimilated, they have a lot of mini-Tribbles in tow, which may be useful for your staffing. If you send them the OFU coordinates, they might be able to drop the minis off on their way back to HQ. :)

Also, you probably have this already, but in case you don't, here is a link to the OFU hub page: http://www.misssandman.com/LOTR/ofum.html

Last but not least, have a Bag of Chocolate Holding - holds up to thirty bars of chocolate at no additional weight! I also took the liberty of filling it for you!

Good luck!

OFAS would love a visit! by hermione of vulcan on 2012-10-19 02:00:00 UTC Reply

Of course your agents can visit the Official Fanfiction Academy of Starfleet! In fact if they want to rest after tackling Jack Russel, they're more than welcome to stay longer. I recognized it on the Claimed Badfic list because another part of my "research" was reading badfic and going mini hunting.
Which brings me to a possible problem. See, I didn't think Mini-Tribbles would be menacing enough, so I created Mini-Gorn to do the menacing. I was going to include Mini-Tribbles later in a mini invasion.
Here's the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8528580/1/The-Official-Fanfiction-Academy-of-Starfleet
Oh, and thanks for the chocolate. I love chocolate.

I also read OFAS so far... by Cyba Zero on 2012-10-19 11:48:00 UTC Reply

...and thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm looking forward to hearing more. I particularly liked the Borg student - that's exactly the kind of idea I'd have.

Oh, and you simply have to have the Borg Queen teach one of the courses (I mean, Sauron teaches at OFUM). Security of some sort might be in order to prevent her assimilating any students - although if some fanboy stampeded her he'd probably get what he had coming. Besides, her take on end of year exams would be hilarious. I also bet she and Picard would argue no end.

I wonder what would happen to anybody who stampeded a Klingon... or some member of Species 8472... etc.?

Thanks! by hermione of vulcan on 2012-10-19 22:45:00 UTC Reply

I'm glad you liked it!
That is a great idea! What class would the Borg Queen teach? And should Seven, Picard, or Janeway be an assistant teacher?
Well, unless the member of Species 8472 was in human form, everyone would stay away. Far away. I can see Worf and B'Elanna having lusters, though. Jack Russel comes to mind. But B'Elanna wins the award for having the hardest name to spell, so we know what happens to those fanboys. Or Tom "accidentally" fires a phaser rifle at them. Or B'Elanna fires the phaser rifle.
And Worf has a bat'leth. Enough said.

My thoughts by Cyba Zero on 2012-10-20 14:15:00 UTC Reply

Well, she'd know about technology, and quite a bit about various different species. Having her teach correct spelling and grammar might be fun...

I can imagine her exams being very hard to pass (100% being the only pass mark, of course) - and some people might be torn between whether failing or not failing was the more scary prospect.

Of your three proposed assistant teachers, I can imagine they would all squabble with her for various reasons (which would be amusing). Janeway would probably be the most professional about it, and Seven would attract more fanboy stampedes. Desire to stampede vs fear of teacher would be an interesting play-off. So... I'd probably vote Seven.

Team-up, perhaps? by Cyba Zero on 2012-10-19 11:36:00 UTC Reply

Well, the ship Cyba and Eagrus are currently on has on board no fewer than seventeen mini-Tribbles, not to mention one mini-Rancor, two mini-Tanks and two mini-'Stus. (My agents have plans for the mini-'Stus, though.)

With that many mini-Tribbles, it could almost be part of the source of the invasion if they start breeding.

Also, if you wanted to co-write, I can imagine my agents causing a bit of a ruckus on their arrival. This would be partly due to Eagrus' terrible idea of flying (his home continuum is the Lord of the Rings). Cyba, Sigma and Phi's appearances would also cause quite a stir (long story; explained in missions currently in beta-phase several posts above).

I also can imagine it being an interesting point to make to your students, to introduce the (crazy) people who have to deal with their 'Stus and other badfic.

It would need to wait until my missions are up so you can read them, though, although if you have read the offending badfic, you will have some idea of what they just came from, if not their own backstories.

This could be funÂ… by hermione of vulcan on 2012-10-19 22:22:00 UTC Reply

…those mini-tribbles could certainly start an invasion. If I remember correctly, he couldn't spell Torres. I understand not being able to spell B'Elanna, but really, Torres is not that exotic of a name.
I looked up your agents--it looks like with Eagrus and OFAS it'll be a bit of a culture shock both ways, him being from fantasy. And his last name is Khan, which should totally scare Kirk.
I would be open to a co-write once I've read some of your agents' missions. How does a co-write work, exactly? I've never done one before.
And the entrance should be made doubly interesting by the fact that Q will provide Cyba and Eagrus with the coordinates, so no guarantees on where they'll end up. Maybe in the middle of the Great Hall. During dinner, when all the fanbrats are there.
And, I was thinking about creating a student named "Mack Rustel" whose Lust Objects are Seska, B'Elanna, and Seven. Don't know if that's a good idea to have your agents meet him. It's kind of like author-bashing, which is frowned upon.

Well... by Cyba Zero on 2012-10-20 10:37:00 UTC Reply

From when I've seen others do it, there are a number of ways to organise one. Email would be my most favorable, although I am also on LiveJournal. My email address is: cyba.zero@gmail.com

Once my missions are beta-ed and up, you'll be able to get a better idea, but for now, Eagrus is disguised as a Klingon, and Cyba had a little disguise generator accident several missions ago and now her natural form is Borg. Her mind isn't, although she can get influenced in close proximity - oh, and thanks to Jack Russel, there are now three of her. So...crash-landing, especially in the middle of the dinner-hall, is going to cause quite a stir.

I can imagine Eagrus' reaction would be:
"We're surrounded by hostile natives! Defend all borders!"

As for Cyba, she'll probably either take cover from any 'attackers', or scream at them.

Sorry I haven't responded by hermione of vulcan on 2012-10-25 17:10:00 UTC Reply

In response to your other message, I'm going to incorporate your ideas into OFAS. See, I already had people slated to teach those classes, so I'm going to have it be a "happy" surprise that the Borg Queen shows up and takes over the one I've chosen for her and Seven. Q's prank on his two favorite captains.
I see that your missions are up, but I don't have a LiveJournal and I can't view them. Should I get a LiveJournal, or can you adjust some settings?
Just looking at what you've given me here, though, I can see that this is going to be fun. :)

No worries! by Cyba Zero on 2012-10-25 17:28:00 UTC Reply

The missions are not fully up, yet. They are still being beta-ed (which I expect to take a little while, given there are five of them). I currently have them hidden on LJ, and will make them visable once beta-ed. I just put the links up on the wiki to be ready, for efficiency. Once beta-ing is done, I will make a mission announcement post on this board.

I have also been updating my agents' pages on the wiki, to account for events since their first mission. The two clones (Sigma One and Phi Six) will have pages soon, too.

I'm really looking forward to more OFAS. You might want to let the students settle in a little (at least having their first few classes and dealings with the mini-Gorn) before dropping my agents on them, though. Then again, it depends how 'evil' you're feeling...

Good luck!

That explains it... by hermione of vulcan on 2012-10-25 18:09:00 UTC Reply

That makes sense. I still can't wait to read it!
I think I will let the students settle in. Not because I'm feeling merciful, but for plot purposes--I feel like I should establish the "normal" routine before throwing PPC agents into it. But they might end up being a Winter Holiday present, considering that I've just gotten swamped in the Real World. Any fanfiction writing time is spent on OFAS, though.

My thoughts entirely by Cyba Zero on 2012-10-25 21:57:00 UTC Reply

Getting 'normal' set out is an important plot point - building from the foundation up, and all that. The ruckus of their arrival would also be a bit much to start with.

Anyway, I'll keep checking for new chapters, and I'll post here when my missions are up fully. Post or drop me an email when you're ready plot- and time-wise, and in the meantime, good luck in the Real World.

I look forward to reading more. :)

Hello! by SeaTurtle on 2012-10-18 08:36:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water. Consumption will allow you to compute the surface area of Gabriel's Horn. It also might cause a world-ending paradox so handle it with care!
Told you we don't bite. by Lily Winterwood on 2012-10-18 07:42:00 UTC Reply

Have a graduated cylinder!
Welcome, welcome! by Lilac Lielac on 2012-10-18 00:57:00 UTC Reply

Though it's less fixing what's actually there and more cathartically writing about kicking the ass of what we can't freaking stand, but yes. :D And we increase the amount of goodfic by bouncing writing off each other until it glows.

Have a... hmm... -rummages through pockets- Aha! How about a figurine of Arturia Pendragon? Guaranteed to be really awesome, since if you press the button on her back she yells, "EXSU... CALIBAAAAAA!"
Welcome! by Khroma on 2012-10-18 00:01:00 UTC Reply

Have some generic cake. Everyone loves generic cake.
Hallo! by Riese on 2012-10-17 23:57:00 UTC Reply

Glad to have you aboard! Here, have an Astartes-Pattern bolter! Just be careful when you fire it, it has been known to rip people's arms off.
*Shy wave* by SpecstacularSC on 2012-10-17 23:54:00 UTC Reply

Don't mind me, just Everyone's Favorite Teh Specs wandering through.

Here, have some Summon Phlebotinum gloves with the spell written on them. It's handy for when your Hammerspace Containers run out of room.

I think the technology was made from repurposed Mary Sue magic and Full Metal Alchemist gloves.

Might be volatile.

Don't summon nukes if you can help it.

It's bad for conduct reports.
Welcome! by Cassie on 2012-10-17 23:35:00 UTC Reply

Glad to have you here, hermione of vulcan. It's always nice to see new friendly faces. :D Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. You can always throw the pebbles at the OFU students. :P
Hullo! by IntelligentAirhead on 2012-10-17 23:35:00 UTC Reply

It's nice to meet you! Here, have an Awake. Much like Tribbles in physiology, adjectives used as nouns can be controlled by feeding them excessive amounts of similar substances. In the case of this Awake, here, three shots of Espresso every six hours should keep it well under control.
!iH by firemagic on 2012-10-17 22:53:00 UTC Reply

So, welcome to our Board! What fandoms, other than Star Trek, do you have?

Also, have a celebration geode!

So manyÂ… by hermione of vulcan on 2012-10-18 03:27:00 UTC Reply

Let's see…Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Greek and Egyptian mythology (as portrayed in Percy Jackson and the Olympians and other books by Rick Riordan),The Hunger Games, The Wizard of Oz (original book series), Sherlock Holmes (original and BBC versions), Jane Austen, The 39 Clues, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Big Bang Theory, Narnia, Maximum Ride…I feel like I might be missing something. Oh, and I have a working knowledge of Doctor Who because I have a lot of friends who are into it. And I'm going to read Discworld because I liked Good Omens.

Hello there! by desdendelle on 2012-10-17 22:21:00 UTC Reply

Hi, and welcome! First of all, read the Constitution. It's linked to on top of the page. About the wiki I don't need to tell you, but you're more than welcome to drop by the IRC - there's a link below the one that goes to the wiki.
Last but not least, have a cup of tea. Just don't let the leaves eat you.
PS: it might taste like coffee and bacon due to the maté I've added. It should still be rather tasty, though.

reply by hermione of vulcan on 2012-10-17 22:44:00 UTC Reply

I have read the Constitution, and I found it amusing and instructive, as, considering that this is the PPC, it should be.
Thank you for the tea. I had to look up "maté" though.

Re: reply by desdendelle on 2012-10-17 23:28:00 UTC Reply

-Smiles- well, I never knew the herb existed till a few days ago, when my mom brought some tea with it home. Surprisingly, it tasted like black tea, coffee, and bacon, but was still awesome.

Hello there! by KittyNoodles on 2012-10-17 22:15:00 UTC Reply

Another former lurker like me! Welcome to the Board - have a bleepolate donut.
Re: Hi! by Meta on 2012-10-17 22:15:00 UTC Reply

Welcome Miss of Vulcan. Have a red shirt and a packet of jelly babies as welcome presents.

reply by hermione of vulcan on 2012-10-17 22:47:00 UTC Reply

Thank you for the jelly babies, but I'm not wearing the red shirt. I value my life. I'll keep it as a souvenir, though.

Small welcome tip by SpecstacularSC on 2012-10-17 23:57:00 UTC Reply

You don't need to title your posts "reply" all the time. Actually, witty response titles are more than welcome here; we do it all the time!