Hey, welcome! Enjoy your stay, cuz you'll be here for a looooong time :)

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Also try our new hydrophilic cookies!

Ooh, another Pokémon fan. What's your favourite type? I like Ice for its raw offensive potential.

Welcome a-Board newbie! I believe it may have been pointed out, but pleases take a trip to our Wiki (http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/PPC_Wiki), our Constitution (https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=18hztHpDehxcfrjaXoFUew1vb0BdZPDAusHxMHzHiCzM), and the Original Series (http://www.misssandman.com/PPC/story.html). Those are the main pillars of our community and they will grant you infinite knowledge of a very narrow field.

Aside from that, have a clockwork clock, guaranteed to tick* 'till you forget to wind it. Cheers!

~ThatOne


*Tocks not included in regular plan. For premium plan (includes tocks and seconds hand) add twelve denarii and fifteen yen.

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

Have a graduated cylinder and welcome!

Welcome to the PPC! Here, have a coconut. :D

Greetings Ranger! Welcome to the PPC! Please enjoy your stay here.

Have my eternal friendship!

*Hands over contract*

Have this ordinance gun. It shoots explosive rubber ducks. How? I don't know. Why? You don't ask why here.

Well, welcome aBoard!

Welcome aboard!

Hmmm...Morning Star Ranger, huh? Have some daybreak starglasses - think sunglasses but for the dawn, the only time when morning and stars could cross over. They are very useful for looking cool at the right time of day!

Do you have a team of Boarders With Varying Degrees of Attitude yet?

If not, to help you in your quest, or to help you fight Sues, have a Jaal'darya biogolem! It's shaped like a giant transforming robot, except it's small.

Also, I will give you a cookie if you know what I'm referencing without using Google.

Hi and welcome. You should read the Constitution (read: must read it) -- there's a link on top of the Board. It is also recommended to read the Original Series; you can find a link to it in the wiki, which is also linked to the top of this page. You are also more than welcome to hang around the IRC -- again, link on top of this page.
Last but not least, have a gift of Camelia Sinsesis Carnivorae, tea made from the best carnivorous tea leaves there are. Just don't let the leaves eat you.

Hi, have some fudge!

Do you have a favorite fandom?

Ahem, remind me not to do that again.
Anyway, not entirely sure what a Morning Star Ranger is, so have a real morningstar, perfect for braining those pesky Sues.

Greetings, Ranger, and welcome! I am not a giant floating head in an overlarge aquarium, nor a slightly annoying overlarge relative of Robby the Robot, but I am still authorized to bid you hello and good day. In that vein of thought, here, have a near-infinite Bag of Holding. Trust me; you'll need it around here.