There exists a department in the PPC whose agents are so specialized in the lore of each Word World that none of them have to carry a C-CAD into the field. They move unseen, lurking in the background as they stalk their prey from afar. They are humble, professional, and most of all, efficient. They are completely and utterly focused on their tasks. They normally work alone, but are more than capable of teaming up to tackle uncanonical atrocities. They have the highest mission success rate out of all the departments and enjoy shortened work hours as well as a fairly decent dental plan with Medical.

These are not the people that are featured in these stories. In fact, that department doesn’t even exist. I mean, who gets dental around here?

These are the continuing adventures of an important yet obscure infrastructure department. Its Agents’ sole purpose in life is to sit down, read fanfiction (most of it bad), lose neurons, and enter Word Worlds in order to get a close-up look at whatever is going wrong... and resist the temptation to quietly throttle the offender.

Nobody ever talks about them. Names such as Elerossiel, Florestan, Supernumerary, Natacha, and Sorgebrunnen are often heard at the cafeteria or Rudi’s Pub, but ask anyone about Beydoun, Frost, San Lorenzo, or Mendel and you’re most likely going to get a “who?” in return. Maybe it’s because they don’t kill Sues. Maybe it’s because they’re not the ones directly involved in saving canon. Maybe it’s because nobody wants to hear about how Agent Patterson managed to pull twelve consecutive hours at a Sorting Room terminal without going mad (it involved two popsicle sticks, some yellow smiley stickers, and a can of sardines).

Well, no more of that. It’s time for the agents of the Department of Intelligence to get some time in the limelight. They may not be the bravest, the cleverest, or the most squick-resistant of the PPC’s agents, but they will get the job done even if they sometimes show signs of...

(Un)Intelligence

A collection of short stories featuring the DoI's best and brightest

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So after several days of preparation, I’m proud to officially present (Un)Intelligence, a collection of short stories featuring everybody's favourite Spies (I think) and their friends. I plan to release these stories in mini-mission format on the Board similarly to what Huinesoron did with his latest DoGA mission.

I expect to be able to release a new episode every two Valve weeks*, and all episodes will be archived in a GDoc that I will set up on the DoI page on the wiki.

And with that being said, I would like to request a beta for the first episode. It’s a mere 4 pages clocking in at 1100 words and focuses on portal abuse in the Action Room.




*Yes, there will be an episode three. Honest.