Subject: H'okey dokey let's see.
Author:
Posted on: 2019-07-31 16:56:00 UTC

-I recognise your name; something to do with the Shipfest springs to mind? Anyway, it counts.

-Alantha seems... fine? Fine. One question: why Floaters? The two stories you've linked both seem like they'd go to Bad Slash (potentially Bad Het division, your summaries don't make it clear). If that's the kind of story you want to focus on, why not put her there instead? The Queen Anne's Lace is always recruiting (and actually seems more likely to send her agents on errands than the Hyacinth, from what I remember of them).

-Recruitment prompt looks good. I feel like it's been ages since I've seen Suzine. (I also feel like the Marquis 'I don't really care' was a reply both to the question, and to Alantha introducing herself; he'll quite happily just refer to her as 'you' and 'that agent with the head-branches' whenever he's forced to remember her. ^~)

-The creative prompt amuses me. I'm not sure about Lux getting involved in a prank war, but Lux is a bit 'all things to all people', so it's certainly plausible. You've clearly been paying attention to the details - a few people have sent their agents into the Canon Library, which has left the Librarian quite put out.

I don't think Makes-Things would engage in a madcap chase of a random agent who'd been poking around his lab - he's spent far too many years on the job to get so worked up about it. If you choose to keep the prompt as canon, I think you should change him out for a different technician. But that aside, the sequence worked well.

There was one very bizarre moment when Alantha starts running and then attempts to take her dress off; I don't read agent bios before the stories (to get an unvarnished view of what you actually write), so I took that at face value: she was taking off her main item of clothing. Tweaking that sentence to make it clear it's an over-dress would fix that. (It's possible that 'chiton' is supposed to imply that? I only know the word from Ancient Greek fashion, so I couldn't say.)

Overall I'm going to go ahead and say Permission Granted. Well done! You made me chuckle (I was wary when you started sprinkling footnote markers around, but then I got to the footnotes themselves, and... yeah. ^
^), and I think the PPC could use a bit of the madcap energy you've shown in parts of your writing.

In addition to 'why Floaters', I would like to ask whether Alantha will have a partner in her first missions, and if not, whether you've considered the fact that you'll either be light on dialogue, or have her talking to herself a lot. (And if she will have a partner, is there a reason you left them out of this request?)

hS

PS: 'Sleep Mellon'. -_- That sound you hear is a half-dozen Elvish agents crying out in horror. ~hS

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