Subject: Best worst movies!
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Posted on: 2019-07-30 18:39:00 UTC

My best friend and I have a long-standing tradition of my liveblogging absolutely terrible movies for them and both of us laughing our butts off at how bad they are. I have a lot of love for cheesy, badly written and made B-movies and I think I can safely call myself a connoisseur at this point, because I've seen quite a number of them.

Which is why I thought we bad movie lovers could discuss our favorites in this thread - the kind of stuff you enjoy not despite, but because it is bad. Let me go first with some of my faves.

1. Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare

Starring Canadian heavy metal singer/bodybuilder Jon Mikl Thor, this movie starts off as a standard, slightly boring bad 80s horror movie about a rock band moving into a haunted house to write new music and getting killed off one by one by the monsters within. There's plenty of 80s hair metal, some uncomfortable sex scenes, the occasional rubber monster, a character with the worst Australian accent I've ever heard, hokey acting, and so forth. However, the last 15 or so minutes take a breakneck turn from the standard horror movie plot into complete bat**** insanity - without spoiling anything, let me tell you that the first time I watched this movie in its entirety, I spent the last 15 minutes nonstop howling with laughter. I was genuinely in tears.

This movie is so obscure I couldn't even find a trailer for it, but do enjoy this out-of-context gif from it: https://halloweenshindig.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/tumblrnaw7d9ewjb1rlct23o1400.gif

2. Bridge of Dragons

One of my favorite B-movie directors' early efforts, everything you need to know about this movie can be summed up in this one scene (which I swear actually happens exactly like this in the movie). Mild abuse warning for a woman getting slapped pretty hard.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuztZtqpqmg

Do enjoy the slo-mo action scene set to Gregorian chanting, and the fact that the bad guys not only wear Nazi regalia (despite the movie being set in a fictional country with zero ties to any real-life nation), but they label every single one of their vehicles with the number 666. Yes - it's THAT kind of movie.

3. KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park

KISS being one of my favorite bands despite their insanely problematic... everything (we all have our guilty pleasures), I've seen this movie like five times and kept dying laughing at it. The production history alone is essay material - to give you the short version, the band hated the script and each other, none of them had the slightest idea about acting, some of them didn't even show up at times (Peter Criss' dialogue is dubbed by a voice actor because he refused to rerecord his lines after filming), and basically everything about this movie is a huge, beautiful, hot mess. The story is about KISS (who in this movie are playing their onstage personas/superpowered beings) fighting a mad scientist who makes robots out of people in an amusement park, but the writing, acting, special effects... heck, EVERYTHING fail can only truly be appreciated if you see it for yourself. So do enjoy this scene.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dus7hHb0Je8

I could tell you about many more gloriously bad movies I've seen during my career as a movie buff, but these are the ones I love the most - besides, of course, such classics as Birdemic and The Room.

What are your favorite terrible movies?

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