Subject: I don't remember if it came up much before (but it might've)
Author:
Posted on: 2019-05-22 06:32:00 UTC
But it definitely explicitly happened in-text here, and that's what I was thinking about.
- Tomash
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Derik and Thoth interlude plug! by
on 2019-05-19 23:58:00 UTC
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"Lessons," Part 2 is finished, finally. Thanks to Irish Samurai, who returned to beta for us again. If you haven't read Part 1 yet, you'll obviously want to do that first. {= ) You have your choice of three (3!) lovely platforms:
My website: Part 1 Part 2
AO3: Part 1 Part 2Don't forget to like and subscribe!
Google Docs: Part 1 Part 2
Whew! That's done. ^_^ We've got another one coming, too—sort of a special edition—but I'll give you guys at least a couple of weeks before I drop that on you.
~Neshomeh -
Catching up by
on 2019-05-28 09:12:00 UTC
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it was as good time a as ever
Shouldn’t this be "as good a time"?
Thoth become noticeably more attentive
Shouldn’t this be "became" (past tense)?
He’d known it for a long time, but never really looked that knowledge in the face until this moment.
Shouldn’t this be past perfect to match the past perfect in "He’d known"? (Would the correct word order be "never really had looked" or "had never really looked"?)
HG -
Where would we be without your eagle eye? by
on 2019-05-29 04:54:00 UTC
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Thanks for catching those!
On the last one, though, I think the structure of the sentence means I can get away with not writing "he had ..., but he had"; the second "he had" is implied. Unless it's insufficiently clear, in which case I'd put the second "had" in its place before "never."
... I have now spent too long on Wikipedia, trying to figure out if this is parallel construction and/or some type of zeugma or syllepsis, and if so, whether "had" is required as an auxiliary verb or not. I think I'm more confused than when I started.
"Zeugma" is a great Scrabble word, though. And "Have Some Madeira, M'Dear" by Flanders & Swann is a good song with great wordplay, whatever the grammar concepts involved are.
~Neshomeh -
This was good stuff by
on 2019-05-22 04:43:00 UTC
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I don't have too many detailed thoughts (especially since I read it Sunday but didn't want to comment from my phone), but I do know I liked how the writing gave a good sense of everyone's emotional state without seeming too bogged down in description.
It was also unexpected (but nice and interesting) to see Thoth get called on the "immortal superhuman arrogance" thing.
- Tomash -
Interesting! by
on 2019-05-22 06:18:00 UTC
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Given doctorlit's (and Phobos') comments on Agent!Thoth's arrogance, I'm curious about what your read on it was before this story. Anything you recall?
Either way, thanks!
~Neshomeh -
I don't remember if it came up much before (but it might've) by
on 2019-05-22 06:32:00 UTC
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But it definitely explicitly happened in-text here, and that's what I was thinking about.
- Tomash -
Re: interlude by
on 2019-05-21 00:35:00 UTC
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Oh, wow. This was a deep, heavy read. I'm glad that Derik was able to take even a little, tiny step towards conquering his grief, because it was kind of starting to feel like the loss of his dragon was a permanent personality trait for him.
I had never before gotten any vibes of such arrogance on Thoth's part, so that came as a surprise in the beginning. It's difficult to even put myself in the headspace of a being that's immortal and nearly emotionless. I'd like to see him change over time as well, though I'm not certain it's possible with his biology.
—doctorlit, pondering these characters a bit more now -
As for Derik... by
on 2019-05-22 04:09:00 UTC
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I tend to think of losing one's dragon in terms of an amputation, or sudden blindness/deafness. It's permanent all right, because he's never getting back what he lost and its absence will affect him for the rest of his life, but he does have some choice in how he handles it. He'll figure that out eventually. I might revel in the angst, but somehow, despite being jaded, bitter, and cynical, I'm still an optimist at heart. {= )
Thanks for commenting! It's always appreciated.
~Neshomeh -
...I may need to work on that... by
on 2019-05-21 21:06:00 UTC
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See, a part of the takeaway from the first Lessons was supposed to be about Thoth's arrogance. He may want to connect with Derik, but he's unwilling to do it on equal terms, out of a mixture of fear and a sense of superiority, looking down on the "puny mortal" no matter how much he may respect him. He presumes Derik has ulterior motives for even attempting to form any sort of connection because... well, that's his default assumption about everyone.
While this story did show Derik changing, a big part of why this didn't end the same way as the first Lessons was because of development in Thoth: his self-reflection and his prior failure has lead him to try and approach Derik on more equal terms, and to accept the connection between them as friends more properly.
If I didn't actually show that clearly... that's an issue with my character writing, and I need to put some thought into how to make this sort of thing clearer. (Just so you know, you aren't the only one to bring this up, so... yeah).
>I'd like to see him change over time as well, though I'm not certain it's possible with his biology.
Oh, he's changing already. That's all part of it. We definitely have A Plan. Or something. -
It's plan-ish. {= ) by
on 2019-05-22 04:20:00 UTC
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But yeah, I have to wonder if I could have been clearer with Derik's reactions, too, because Thoth being condescending was largely responsible for his irritation in L1. That and getting straight to business, no friendly talk at all, being extremely contrary to Derik's expectations and needs.
Though, it would sorta make sense for it to come through most strongly in this situation, where Thoth is annoyed with Derik. Plus, we're in Derik's head at the beginning of L2, so unlike in L1, we know exactly why he's feeling the way he feels. So maybe it's okay?
I'll see if I can get any more insight out of Phobos (the other person who mentioned being surprised by this), but he's busy doing important bill-paying type stuff tonight.
~Neshomeh -
That was lovely! by
on 2019-05-20 17:43:00 UTC
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I love these two characters, and the summaries gave me little thrills of nostalgia. ;)
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Never a bad thing. :-) by
on 2019-05-21 21:10:00 UTC
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Fun fact: I started reading Pern out of an eventual need to write this scene.
I mean, I was gonna do it anyways, but... -
Thank you! by
on 2019-05-21 15:56:00 UTC
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Hmm, maybe I should put a link to the source of those summaries in the end notes. In-jokes are all well and good, but letting people in on them without making them Google it is probably better. {= )
~Neshomeh -
Good idea. by
on 2019-05-21 22:58:00 UTC
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I got the reference (heck, I took my username from the title of another Rush song), but things like that are no fun if you don't understand them.
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Like a moth to a flame... by
on 2019-05-20 02:40:00 UTC
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...the Iximaz is drawn to angst. And what a delicious story that was.
I'm very excited to see more of these two interacting in the future. They just work really well together in a story and I could buy them as the stars of a coffee shop AU, just chilling in the corner and quietly talking about life.
Basically: me likey. -
That's why these fics exist. by
on 2019-05-21 21:14:00 UTC
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Well, from my perspective. We enjoyed writing Thoth and Derik so much that we wrote a series of it.
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Thanks! I do love the way they bounce off each other. {= ) (nm) by
on 2019-05-20 16:18:00 UTC
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Funnily enough... by
on 2019-05-24 16:55:00 UTC
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...I told Thoth the same thing almost verbatim.