Subject: The goose pooped on Skater's shoes. And turned his backward into a minefield of goose poop.
Author:
Posted on: 2019-12-24 18:54:00 UTC
And the inside of his house has, also, been turned into a minefield of goose defecate.
Skater is not amused. Skater wants to do very NSF4M things to the goose.
(( The Goose recently invaded Discord again and the Board deserves to get in on the fun ))
(( Feel free to also be the Goose, or be goose victims ))
(( - Tomash ))
Skater was in his house, on the Board, having gotten a much-needed kick courtesy of J.P. Beaubien. Alright, he thought. Time to finally request Permission! He was going to do it. He was going to let go of his creation and take a leap of faith. His prompts were completed, Now all he needed to do was make sure they stayed that way...
She's currently covered in sawdust and has managed to cut a finger open on her unsanded armor. She's cursing and trying to keep from getting sawdust in her cut.
Really, the only thing that could make this day worse is if a goose showed up.
It runs for a costume piece far from Iximaz, hoping to steal it.
Iximaz scrambles up and yells "Hey!" as she lunges for the piece.
It's been a while since its been chased.
She hopes this will aid her in conducting some field research on the horrible goose. She plans to write a story about it, but has never played the goose game, and finds this to be something of an impediment. She wonders if watching that Game Theory video about the intelligence of the goose is really enough to go on. This goose seems smarter than the average goose, but can it, say, open doors, supposing they have a handle instead of a knob? This is important.
Neshomeh climbs up into the little-remembered rafters above the PPC Lounge with her laptop. She opens up a Notepad file and waits, hoping to make some quality observations before her battery runs out.
(( {= D ))
It has made it up to the rafters via plothole.
It looks around, trying to figure out what it could do from here? Maybe divebomb someone and steal their lunch? But then, it notices the woman on her laptop who isn't paying too much attention to her surroundings.
Being a horrible goose, it has one obvious response to this situation.
HONK!
(( For the record, I have not played the goose game either. I'm going off of some YouTube footage I glanced at yesterday, what I've heard from other people about the game, and a thin attempt at plausibility. And besides, this is a PPC goose, who knows what sort of unusual things it'll get up to ))
But no. She was expecting the trouble to come flapping from below, not behind. Thus, she is caught completely unprepared for the loud noise.
"EEK!" goes Neshomeh, startling so badly that she almost falls. Fortunately, her instincts to preserve her laptop and herself are strong enough to overcome the reflex to flail about trying to get away.
She freezes. She turns around carefully and stares wide-eyed at the goose. Geese are pretty big up close. She is not happy about being in the rafters with one, especially not this one that nearly gave her a heart attack, but she resists the impulse to make a remark that would be NS4M regarding upcoming holidays and traditional fare.
Instead, she says nervously, "So, uh... I've been wondering... do you know Agent Monty?"
She also looks for the quickest way to get down without breaking her neck.
It does not, in fact, know Agent Morty. Or maybe it does and doesn't want to admit it so as not to betray the existence of the secret goose cabal that rules the universe. It's hard to tell, with a goose.
It then darts its head forward, making a grab for the writing implement Neshomeh almost certainly has on her somewhere.
Neshomeh raises her laptop and uses it like a shield to fend off the goosey beak. The irony is, the laptop itself is the only "writing" implement she has. It is unclear who has come out ahead in this exchange!
Computers are, after all, rather hard to grab at that angle.
The Goose instead darts off to the side, looking to see if Neshomeh has anything interesting to steal. Glasses, maybe?
She even says so. Look, there she is now.
"Today I am going to cause problems on purpose."
What a rotter! I bet she hopes a horrible goose isn't going to mess up her plans to do that!
((For those unaware, "Today I am going to cause problems on purpose" is kind of a meme in the goose game fandom))
The Goose is greeted after rounding one corner of HQ by... another Goose?
This one appears to be waiting for something. What shall our protagonist-of-chaos Goose do?
((SMF here, preparing for the delightful chaos. Open to threadjacks if you are!))
Another iteration of the goose flared its wings at the newcomer and honked loudly, trying to size it up.
(( Sure, there could be some interesting threadjacks or tag-teaming )) (( Lots of ways to add more goose ))
The new Goose tilted its head, then flapped its wings and honked more in return.
What had brought the other goose here? There were all sorts of people to chase and trouble here! There was even a peculiar sort of fountain; did the other goose want to see?
It kept an eye out for shenanagins and betrayals, but it could tell the other goose knew something neat, and decided to see what it was about.
The Bleepka fountain was indeed neat! And, if any Agents happened to be watching them (a perilous matter), a suspiciously simple affair.
The Goose honked a warning - don't drink the water or you'll forget things! - but made no attempts of betrayal.
It did, however, spot a mirror, and went honking off in that direction for a bit.
Sure, drinking the stuff was apparently a bad idea, but that didn't mean splashing around was bad.
... But only for five minutes. Some surprise quests passed faster than others, alright?
But the other Goose would indeed return, and join its fellow in the fountain.
There were, of course, Agents following.
She's flopped across the couch by the fire, glasses askew, scrolling through Tumblr on her phone and probably reading smut when she thinks no one's looking
It flares its wings and makes an attempt to peck at Moons' phone.
Maybe it wants to get to the smut?
She hurriedly closes a bunch of incognito tabs, switches off the fireplace (thanking all the gods for the convenience of gas fireplaces as she does), and begins trying to shoo the goose out the door.
to the door. Then, it suddenly turns around and tries to run past Moons to get back in, flaring its wings to try and intimidate her.
Cicada has finished her finals and is coasting through the last few days of school. She only has a little bit of homework to do, her cold is almost gone (though she's still got her cough drops and tylenol nearby), and she's made herself a nice cup of tea. The detritus of the last few days studying is all around her, but the mess shouldn't be too much trouble. As long as nothing troublesome happens, she can finally start to relax.
and grabs a few flashcards in its beak, crumpling them slightly.
It then starts to make its way towards the door, announcing its successful mischief with a HONK.
Cicada cocks her head and stares at the goose, then laughs good-naturedly. She offers another flashcard to the goose, stretching away from her desk.
However, it ignores the flash card and instead goes to knock over a trash can.
She removes the trashcan from the Goose's path and tries to hold it over the Goose's head, wagging her finger disapprovingly.
and hides behind Cicada's chair. It tries to push the chair into her path with a HONK.
(( I'll leave the rolliness of the chair up to you, since it's (presumably) your chair ))
The chair careens towards Cicada, and Cicada can't decide what to do. She could duck out of the way, but which way is the chair going? Would it be impolite to move? What if the chair moves, so they both move, and it's terribly awkward? Cicada is filled with the awkwardness of two people on a collision course, seemingly having forgotten that the chair is, in fact, non-sapient. The chair glances off Cicada's knee. Snapping out of the awkward zone, Cicada starts towards the Goose, spreading her arms in an attempt to intimidate the creature. "Rude! No! Out!" she proclaims.
It spread its wings out to look larger as well, and honked at Cicada in an as if I'm going anywhere way.
She resigns herself to the presence of the goose and then tries to get around it to drink her tea. It'll get cold if she leaves it for too much longer, which she'd hate.
It tries to stay unobtrusive so it can lure Cicada into a false sense of security.
She sips her tea and regards the creature with distrust, then after a few minutes of inactivity, she goes to retrieve her chair.
the Goose honks, hoping to startle her and make her spill it.
as she waited for the spoonful to cool. When she jolted at the honk, the spoon was knocked away. Cicada really should have learned not to do that with spoons ages ago. Tea droplets went everywhere, and Cicada's spoon was on the carpet. "Ugh, gross..." Cicada sighed. She went to the kitchen to get a new spoon.
and runs for it, honking happily. It'd gotten Cicada to spill her tea, and even managed to snag a shiny object in the process.
She decides that the goose's obvious joy at getting her shiny gold spoon has made the whole escapade worth it. She returns to her tea.
He's reading the Oedipus trilogy right now, but he's also borrowing two books about the Titanic from his parents, which he wants to keep in pristine shape by the time he returns them. It sure would be a shame if anything were to happen to them . . .
They're on the floor to his left, while he reads Oedipus Rex in a chair . . .
—doctorlit, semi-autobiographical
and honks a few times, just to see how he reacts.
"Goose?" he asks. His eyes immediately drop to the borrowed books on the floor, between him and the goose. Immediately, he stuffs the bookmark into the Greek play, then snatches the Titanic ones up into his lap.
Responsibilities fulfilled, he turns his attention back to the goose. It is a cute bird, if oddly cell-shaded. "You are a birb!" doctorlit says, in the inscrutable and barely cognitive language of zookeepers. "A most handsomely birb! But! Are you a friendlisome birb?" He reaches out a hand slowly, watching the goose's head and neck for signs of sudden aggressive movement.
—doctorlit, friendlisome but not handsomely
It lowers its head somewhat, waiting to see how he will react to this development.
"It is a goodlisome friend!" He gently starts to scratch the side of the goose's neck.
—doctorlit, 100% in character
Being a goose, though, it likes doc's gentle scratching, and decides not to be too horrible this time.
And so, after a while, it lunges forward to make a grab for doc's bookmark.
(Although he has been expecting a bite, rather than a thieving.)
doctorlit shrinks back and wraps his arms protectively around all three books. "No, no, little friendle," he says, nose to beak with the goose, "even good birb friends don't get to touch the Precious!"
—doctorlit, inspiring entire RP-wide verb tenses, apparently
It would like to steal that shiny bookmark, and has decided to try intimidation first.
"Oh, little goose! You are not so scary a goose! I have been chased around by much the scarier gooses! The Magnum and the Andy and the Steve-o! But you are a good goose!" doctorlit reaches out and scritches the goose's belly.
—doctorlit, professional goose scritcher
Its desire to mess with doctorlit's day has been thoroughly countered by his professional goose scritching.
It enjoys the attention for a while, and then wanders off to go do goosey things somewhere else. It does look around for any easy-to-grab exposed on its way out the door, though, seeing as it's still a goose.
It isn't until several days later that doctorlit realizes his walking stick is gone.
—doctorlit has a vague idea that putting his name in every post by signing them might not be necessary any more for searching purposes, but it's become a habit/tradition, so it will probably continue indefinitely
Last night I had a dream about petting a goose that ended up sitting on me like a nest, in what I took to be a sign of affection. I credit you entirely. My subconscious would not otherwise have known the correct way to pet a goose.
This whole subthread is very amusing. ^_^
~Neshomeh
By and large, the correct way to pet most geese is "stay away." And even a lot of friendly geese aren't big on cuddles, though there is one female Cape Barren goose at my zoo who likes getting hugs from the keeper who hand-raised her.
I'm just glad this RP didn't turn into the other kind of goose handling, where you halt their charge by catching one of their wings and turning them around really quickly to face the beak and claws away from your body, holding one wing in each hand. This is one skill where their isn't much margin for error during the practice stage.
—doctorlit, happy to be credited for happy dreams