Weaponize Ducks?

Duck Capacity by Four Moons Watching on 2020-04-12 19:37:06 UTC Reply

For reasons I wouldn't know how to explain even if it wasn't so much funnier without context, the Discord has started a tier list of which agents, and possibly Boarders, can carry the most ducks. Here's the doc. Go nuts.

Ducks by Tomash on 2020-04-14 05:08:31 UTC Reply

Peregrin can carry a duck ... very carefully, but he'll probably get all manner of minor injuries for his trouble, despite his best efforts. He will not be using his bag for them, there's books and papers in there.

Taq could carry a few ducks, maybe even several if he's clever about it.

Farah could carry a few ducks, I figure. That's what backpacks are for. If moving around a standard live cargo container counts, she could carry a whole bunch of ducks.

Kkukttak could steal Farah's container of ducks and quickly abscond with it.
Dux by Thoth on 2020-04-13 13:35:09 UTC Reply

Thoth can carry a lot of ducks if he levitates them. But he's not actually sure what a duck is yet so someone would have to explain it.

Tom could pick up the ducks but he'd rather build a mobile duck cage becuase ducks are EVIL and he doesn't want them near him.
The amount of the ducks can be used to measure the strength of an agent by SomeRandomPersonAccount on 2020-04-13 05:44:36 UTC Edited Reply

The more ducks you can carry, the stronger you are. More ducks means more strength. A single Mallard duck can weigh up to 1.6 Kg. It would also mean that you can control Ducks and use them to Attack your enemies. After all, how do you carry them if they keep on quacking into your ears?

Edit: This may or may not be a sign that your agent is a Sue/Stu.

~SomeRandomPersonAccount

Weaponize Ducks? by Jean Yeap on 2020-04-13 10:24:58 UTC Edited Writing Reply

The villain laughs. The heroine is at his mercy, head bowed, on her knees, in front of his dark throne. Smiling evilly, like all cliché villains, he snaps his fingers for his guards to take her down into the dungeons.

At this moment, she raises her head. There is a look in her eye, a resolute glint. The villain frowns but snaps his fingers anyway, which turns out to be the biggest mistake of his life.

She is wearing an oversized trench coat, which the villain pinned down as placing aesthetic over practicality. How very wrong he was. In that moment, he sees only ducks. Ducks, everywhere. The waterfowl stream from every single opening in her trench coat, quacking, pecking at the floor, flapping their wings, being ducks in general. The heroine smiles and snaps her fingers.

The next day has charming headlines such as: RESIDENT EVIL OVERLORD OVERWHELMED BY TSUNAMI OF DUCKS and DUCKS: THE NEW WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION??

The little old ladies sitting at a table seem to disagree over this. 'You can't mass-produce ducks, Margaret,' says one of them, sipping tea through her immensely complex straw. Margaret huffs and stares mutinously at her fried eggs.

Across the street, a woman in a comically long trench coat shrugs, shoving a webbed foot back into her sleeve.

Fantastic :D (nm) by Zingenmir on 2020-04-13 12:02:51 UTC Reply

Okay, sure. ^_^ by Neshomeh on 2020-04-13 04:55:14 UTC Reply

Jenni will carry all the ducks, because saving lost ducklings is kinda her thing, and also she's immortal and sorta nonlinear, so that helps. (She would also like to comment that: 1. Lux is a nice woman who is perfectly capable of carrying ducks. Probably not more than one at a time, but that's only because she's easily distracted, NOT whatever horrible things you people are thinking. 2. She's not sure Jacques quite got the point of the exercise—she thinks he can carry a lot of ducks and actually wishes he wouldn't sometimes. ... This IS a psychological metaphor of some sort, right?)

Henry can definitely carry a duck or two! Maybe even a few at once, once he gets really good at the Levitation Charm.

Simon is not quite four years old and is scared of the ducks. No, thanks!

Derik can carry a few ducks. He's theoretically strong enough to carry several ducks or more, but they wiggle, and feathers are slippery, and they bite, and it's harder than it looks, all right? Back off.

Gall is probably not allowed to carry ducks, because Fellrazer. But if she were, with a full-sized dragon to help, she would carry ALL THE DUCKS, because she's just that good. (Actual duck capacity: a few of her own, plus Derik's sometimes.)

Gadrik is not old enough to even think about carrying ducks.

Ilraen could acquire the DNA of a representative sample of the species and combine them into a single morph, and thus become the physical embodiment of all the ducks, but he's not sure that counts. Er, maybe just one duck. One duck is fine. (Actual duck capacity: several.)

Nume doesn't want anything to do with ducks, metaphorical or otherwise, thank you very much. Pets are annoying.

~Neshomeh has no comment on her own duck capacity. ^_~

Me, I thought it was about actual ducks. by Jacques Bonnefoy on 2020-04-13 12:11:18 UTC Reply

But hey, to run with your psychological metaphor--I know you can carry all the ducks, but you know you don't have to do it alone, right? Let me help.

-J

((Yeah, that got me laughing out loud :D I put him down for what I did because I figured he wouldn't go about carrying ducks unless he had a really good reason, in which case he might be persuaded to carry a couple, but man, this lends itself really well to metaphor! Thanks for the laugh :) ~Z))

See? You've gone and made my point for me. by Jennifer Robinson on 2020-04-13 20:00:52 UTC Reply

I wanted a line in there saying "especially if he thinks it'll save someone else the trouble," but nooo, that was too wordy for some people. ;P

You know the deal, hon: we both carry the ducks. Your ducks are my ducks, and yes, okay, vice versa, when it makes sense.

Actually, on that note, are you stopping by the Nursery later? Could you possibly pick up Simon for me? Forget the ducks; all these damn corvids are driving me up the wall, and I'm way behind on, just, everything.

<3

--J2

(( I saw an opening that screamed "attack," as the saying goes. ^_^ ))

Ducks by Jean Yeap on 2020-04-13 03:43:32 UTC Reply

I have no idea what to do with this information. Maybe... shrugs shoulders to muffle quacking coming from comically long trench coat use this to take over the world?