Subject: PPC Shanties
Author:
Posted on: 2021-04-02 23:48:59 UTC

This thing recently got lodged in my brain so please, take it:

There once was a Sue, first name Mary Who joined the Quest to destroy the Ring Her skills contrived, her past tragic, Her boyfriend Legolas

Chorus: Soon may the PPC come To witness, charge, and kill, and run One day when the mission is done We’ll take our leave and go

She had not been two hours in town When to the Council she went down Revealing that she had the crown Of some land still unknown

[chorus]

When Frodo said he’d take the Ring The Sue thought it’d be a nice thing To tag along and therefore bring The Walkers up to ten

[chorus]

When Crebain flew, the Sue did see A chance to hit on poor Leggy She disregarded secrecy To try and hold her prince

[chorus]

In Moria, at the East Gate The Sue tried to change Gandalf’s fate But Balrog whips do not forsake And down Mithrandir went

[chorus]

In Lorien, Galadriel Spoke with the Sue of tidings fell And let her peer into a well To see her future there

[chorus]

Poor Boromir, whose country’s need The Sue decided was Ring-greed He suffered from misogyny At her hands, and then died

[chorus]

The agents had enough of this They’ve compiled a huge charge list And for the Duty, they won’t miss The Sue, shot in the head

[chorus]