Subject: PPC Shanties
Author:
Posted on: 2021-04-02 23:48:59 UTC

This thing recently got lodged in my brain so please, take it:

There once was a Sue, first name Mary
Who joined the Quest to destroy the Ring
Her skills contrived, her past tragic,
Her boyfriend Legolas

Chorus: Soon may the PPC come
To witness, charge, and kill, and run
One day when the mission is done
We’ll take our leave and go

She had not been two hours in town
When to the Council she went down
Revealing that she had the crown
Of some land still unknown

[chorus]

When Frodo said he’d take the Ring
The Sue thought it’d be a nice thing
To tag along and therefore bring
The Walkers up to ten

[chorus]

When Crebain flew, the Sue did see
A chance to hit on poor Leggy
She disregarded secrecy
To try and hold her prince

[chorus]

In Moria, at the East Gate
The Sue tried to change Gandalf’s fate
But Balrog whips do not forsake
And down Mithrandir went

[chorus]

In Lorien, Galadriel
Spoke with the Sue of tidings fell
And let her peer into a well
To see her future there

[chorus]

Poor Boromir, whose country’s need
The Sue decided was Ring-greed
He suffered from misogyny
At her hands, and then died

[chorus]

The agents had enough of this
They’ve compiled a huge charge list
And for the Duty, they won’t miss
The Sue, shot in the head

[chorus]

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