Subject: "Banned from Discworld"
Author:
Posted on: 2021-04-04 17:44:09 UTC

Not technically a shanty, but rather a rewrite of the classic filk song, "Banned From Argo".

When we portalled to Ankh-Morpork for a much-needed break
We each set out to find what such mementos we could take
Each of us tread lightly as we wandered off to see
But it seems the city's unprepared for agents such as we

And we're banned from Discworld everyone!
Banned from Discworld just for havin' a little fun
We took a jolly trip there for a mere three days or four
But the flowers won't allow it anymore

Our Slasher's needs were simple but her methods were complex
Filching memorbilia with multiversal tech
We kept our eyes upon her fingers but she must have had a chance
She portalled home with almost half of Vetinari's pants

And we're banned from Discworld everyone!
Banned from Discworld just for havin' a little fun
We took a jolly trip there for a mere three days or four
But the flowers won't allow it anymore. 

The Assassin drank most heartily from anything with Bleep
After so much work it was such that he needed it to sleep
The trouble really started when he mixed it with some Splot
And all of us went deaf when next we heard him try to talk

And we're banned from Discworld everyone!
Banned from Discworld just for havin' a little fun
We took a jolly trip there for a mere three days or four
But the flowers won't allow it anymore

The Floater was a silent type, without much need for rest
He went to Stibbons' building just to see what he could test
He was well versed in magic (at least of a sort) that's true
But Hex is now possessed by both a daemon and a grue 

And we're banned from Discworld everyone!
Banned from Discworld just for havin' a little fun
We took a jolly trip there for a mere three days or four
But the flowers won't allow it anymore

The technician had no lust objects as far as we could tell
She never asked for anything and did her job quite well
We didn't pay attention and we realized our mistake
When the whole of the Seamstress' Guild began to shake

And we're banned from Discworld everyone!
Banned from Discworld just for havin' a little fun
We took a jolly trip there for a mere three days or four
But the flowers won't allow it anymore

Our Pyro had been punished for his own proclivities
We hid all of the matches and the gas quite carefully
Nobody for a moment even let him out of sight
We were quite confused how the Assassin's Guild was set alight

And we're banned from Discworld everyone!
Banned from Discworld just for havin' a little fun
We took a jolly trip there for a mere three days or four
But the flowers won't allow it anymore

Wonder why?

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