Whoops, belated edits

So fast!? New mission ahoy by Ki no Shirayuki on 2021-10-18 12:06:41 UTC Writing Reply

Featuring first appearance of a mini in the TouRabu continuum. Both minis – toudanshi and Shoukudaikiri – are currently adoptable. Thanks to [name redacted] for beta-ing as always.

What I want to ask is: is forgetting to write down charges (but still remembering the charges themselves) a reprimandable or punishable offense?

First interlude by Ki no Shirayuki on 2021-10-24 13:27:35 UTC Reply

Featuring Kaguya's normal personality and a bit of expansion on his backstory.

re: interlude by doctorlit on 2021-10-25 23:48:43 UTC Reply

Ah, very nice! I like seeing Kaguya's base self more, and doing so has helped me understand his "anger mode" better. He reacts poorly to badfic because it's the antithesis of the kind of precise, neat activities he enjoys. A good look into his character! And it also explains Momoka's feelings for him to be more than just physical attraction, too.

—doctorlit

Whoops, belated edits by Ki no Shirayuki on 2021-10-26 01:56:13 UTC Edited Reply

[Re-edit again; forget about his mom being dead, guys]

re: mission by doctorlit on 2021-10-19 02:16:17 UTC Reply

I like that Kaguya stays so supportive of Momoka, even in the face of her low confidence, and even when she forgets something important like writing down charges. And he has a point, too: his anger mode is much more disruptive to completing missions than Momoka's inexperience. Hopefully they can both support the other in getting better at staying on task eventually! To answer your question, no, I don't think there would be any reprimand for not recording the charges during the mission. The Suvian still had them stated to her before execution, and the agents clearly included the charges in the paperwork (as represented by the mission itself). Missing either of those things WOULD be problems with the Flowers.

It would be nice, for us readers who don't know Japanese, if you could explain some of the linguistics usage when your agents correct errors in the fics. That way, we could learn some new things! And as it is, I'm just being told something is wrong; I don't understand why.

Also, since Momoka drops the "capital-b witch" word a few times, you should warn for that ahead of time, in the opening author notes, if not in the Board post as well. That way, folks who aren't comfortable with reading bad language, or could get in trouble if an authority figure sees it over their shoulder, they know not to open the mission.

—doctorlit, doing the old shave-and-a-mission

Thanks for the feedback, by Ki no Shirayuki on 2021-10-19 03:07:21 UTC Reply

I've made the necessary edits. Have a good day 😉