Subject: I now have an AO3 account.
Author:
Posted on: 2022-01-25 21:50:31 UTC
I think it will be a good place to host my missions and whatever other stories I write. Here is a link to my account.
Subject: I now have an AO3 account.
Author:
Posted on: 2022-01-25 21:50:31 UTC
I think it will be a good place to host my missions and whatever other stories I write. Here is a link to my account.
Here are my Permission request, agent bios, and badfic I want to spork. I have tried to do my best to fix the mistakes that Neshomeh and Novastorme found in the first one, with the help of my beta reader, TheGoblinPrincess.
I hope you will find it amusing.
-Claire
I think it will be a good place to host my missions and whatever other stories I write. Here is a link to my account.
I know you've been waiting a while on this; all I can say is that we're all bone-weary these years, and it has nothing to do with you personally.
You: Yeah, you've been around a while and not done anything bad. Tick.
The Agents: They look fine. The only thing that flags is that "may or may not have powers" on Deirdre, which is fine - characters change as we write them - but don't turn it into a sneaky "she gets new powers every time she shows up".
The Badfic: I wouldn't say hilariously bad, but for a short mission centred on the typos and the presentation (block paragraph, Schrödinger's green highlighting) it should work fine.
The Sample: So! In general your SPG looks good. Your plot looks fine; I think you've heavily edited it from the first version, which you should never be afraid to do (even if it's published!). One plothole which seems to have hung around is that the agents just... grab the Suvian from right next to the canon characters, and then charge her right there. I feel like the hobbits would have said something even if the lack of plot had zoned them out.
In terms of critique, the key phrase that's coming to mind is "run-on".
All of these issues could be resolved by making sure to give your writing room to breathe. If a sentence or a paragraph feels too long, too squashed together, break it up! Let a different character do something in the middle of it - talking ain't a free action, and people don't really wait their turn to act. I know (believe me, I know) that dialogue is the easiest thing to write, but if you've committed to an action segment, make sure you give it as much space to work as it needs, rather than hurrying to get back to the dialogue.
(As an aside to this: there is no good way to include a full charge list in dialogue, but if you want to list all the charges, you should probably paragraph break it in the middle.)
So, basically... your writing has room to grow. Well, so does everyone else's, mine included. I see nothing here that would wreck PPC canon, and it seems like you've responded well to the concerns Nesh and Nova raised last time (a lot of which were about unrealistic behaviour and skills). I'm going to go ahead and say Permission Granted.
hS
I think my writing has gotten a lot better since I first discovered fanfiction in 2019 or 2020. I will start writing that mission soon.
About Deirdre, I've decided that she does not have powers. It will be simpler that way.
-Claire, who should be working on her 1984 project instead of PPC stuff.