Subject: See the old thread that inspired this somewhat
Author:
Posted on: 2022-03-08 06:41:43 UTC
The origin of Medical shoving cheese into agents
Trade Routes (also on Google Docs, in which Aulhar Tauran gets lost and ends up joining the Acquisitions Division of the Department of Finance.
I hope people like this exploration of a side of HQ that doesn't see too much screen time.
Hooray! Finance! Those are some important rules you thought up for sure! There are indeed a lot of ways PPC tech can be exploited to make money, but we need to be careful not to be abusive about it. Those rules should make for good guidelines. And I like the primary plan of exploiting video game interface weirdness in a way that typically wouldn't affect any actual narrative presentation of the word worlds.
Aulhar seems like a fun fellow! Even without a traditional description, I can tell from the way he delivers dialogue, and the way other characters react to him, that he is a big and burly lion man! And actually, that makes it even more fun that he's such a pacifistic character, and has wound up in a "behind the counter" sort of job. And yes, it set up that punchline at the end quite perfectly!
A couple whoopsies:
"Aulhar went back to trying to work out Forbidden Plan #1 would be . . ."
I think a "what" is missing in here!
"'I’ve heard the family complaining about bureaucrats enough times.' Aulhar said."
That there period should be a comma!
—doctorlit, reading as promised, though later than he expected!
First off, the typos have been fixed.
Second, I'm glad you managed to get a good mental picture of Aulhar despite me not including much of a description (which, I'll admit, I didn't quite have formulated). "Big, burly lion man" is a pretty solid idea.
I'm happy to hear that my worldbuilding seems good and that you liked the story ... and that the punchline worked. Honestly, half the point of this thing was to set up the punchline, and to explain where Medical keeps getting all that mysteriously healing cheese.
I'm not entirely sure where things'll go from here, if they go anywhere, though I do have some thoughts.
And the delay's no problem, things happen.
The origin of Medical shoving cheese into agents