Subject: Sorry this a bit late...
Author:
Posted on: 2012-09-12 14:43:00 UTC
I enjoyed reading this. I also found the swear jar funny, although I felt that it was kind of abandoned during the second half of the fic. I was disappointed that there was no Buffy the Vampire Slayer, despite it being in the list of canons. Although, I suppose the fact that the sue was killed before she got to BtVS is a good thing.
Well, more a continuation of the last one. Yes, with the boring Sue.
Mission Title: A Jedi's Beginning
Canon: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/The West Wing/Star Wars/Batman [The Dark Knight Trilogy canon]
Rating: T, for swears
Agents: Callahan, K. and Trevelyan, A.
Target: Jade Bartlet
Word Count: 6,875
Source Summary: How will Jade Bartlet find her way? West WingxBatman Begins, with a smattering of Star Wars. SPOILERS for Batman Begins, through season 3 of West Wing. Sequel to Halloween.
Click!
IT'S OKAY IT TOTALLY GETS BETTER NOW, I HAVE SOME INSANE STUFF IN A HOLDING PATTERN. Stuff that will not be a hard slog to write, and will hopefully be enjoyable to read.
I enjoyed reading this. I also found the swear jar funny, although I felt that it was kind of abandoned during the second half of the fic. I was disappointed that there was no Buffy the Vampire Slayer, despite it being in the list of canons. Although, I suppose the fact that the sue was killed before she got to BtVS is a good thing.
...but she's not quite free of it yet. (In her previous missions she was dropping a LOT of F-bombs, so this was an in-story way for me to tone that down.) And the BtVS was in the previous fic with the same 'Sue, who made reference to her time in Sunnydale during this fic. This one was more egregious, but I think that one was just worse (counting the quality of the writing). The "buffy the vampire slayer" tag on her journal should link to it.
(( I'm not familiar with your spinnoff, so I might have missed some context on the jokes. ))
There was a lot of funny things in your mission. Kitty's attempts to avoid triggering the swear jar, especially in situations where profanity is generally used, were definitely chuckle-worthy. I really liked the agents' banter (and their opposing personalities). The execution method was also very much in the PPC spirit. Stabby and shooty things are all well and good, but sometimes you have to do something funny like drowning the Sue in ice cream that your partner's been telling you to put down for half the mission.
The post-mission scene, especially the "kill people and get drinks" line, was also funny because of the contrast between the violent (though friendly) banter and the happy, "they're reconciling" ending.
I did catch one thing that might be a typo, though. In:
Then tell me, o glorious arbiter of all things invective-y,I think that "o" should be "O".
And thank you for catching that capitalization error! I'll rectify that forthwith.
Some random thoughts have been going around my head, inspired by an old thread I ran across somehow, and this seemed to be as good a place as any for them. So, here goes.
We're a writing community. What's more, we're dedicated to good writing. You generally can't improve your writing if people don't tell you what they think about it. If no one leaves any reviews, you don't know what other people thought was funny, boring, lame, cool, et cetera. Without that information, you can't make your next mission better.
I've been here for about a year and a half, and I've seen many (not most, but many) mission threads pass off the front page without substantial comments from anyone. That's not good. I think we, the PPC, should make an effort to review each other's missions more. The reviews don't have to be long — a few sentences generally suffices. I realize that many people are busy and don't have time to review while the mission is on the front page. In that case, I propose replying with something along the lines of "Will review later. Real life's in the way." and then actually reading and reviewing later when one has the time, even if the mission thread has dropped off the front page. Of course, if the mission is somewhere that supports comments, delayed reviews could be put there instead.
I'm not proposing that everyone review or comment on every mission, just that we make an effort to help each other improve.
... the review I would have written for this mission, which would read as follows:
'Read this. Liked it. Too tired for coherent thoughts on why. ~hS'
Because it's true - and I'm not so convinced of the ultra-importance of my personal reviews that I'm going to read it again just to find something more to say.
(Although the swear jar did make me grin, too)
hS
It lets the author know that someone liked their mission, and that's encouraging.
That's a good point, but from the missions I've read - which, admittedly, is only around...maybe 35, counting the Original Series? - it looks like the missions are mostly posted on sites where people can leave comments on the mission post(s). And on these such pages, it does appear that people are leaving scattered bits of advice - a capitalization pointer here, a SPaG note there.
That said, some people post on sites where that isn't possible (Jay and Acacia certainly did!) I think those ones should definitely still get some concrit, either on the Board or...eh, wherever the author(s) can read it.
The author's talk page on the wiki is probably a good place to post concrit, if the author was around after the wiki was created. If you can somehow search up the Board post where the mission was first posted, you might be able to post there, even though that means only the author will see the corcrit. You could also try emailing the author (same drawbacks). If those methods don't work or you don't want to use them, posting to the Board seems like a good idea. In fact, I'm reminded of Nesh started last March, though that didn't get much traction.