Hngggh

Subject: Hngggh
Author: Pretzel
Posted on: 2012-09-09 08:29:00 UTC

Oh dear Eru, there are so many things wrong with just the first chapter, let alone the rest of the story. I'd personally say that Sherlock's character is mangled beyond recognition in the first chapter alone, given his canonical distrust of people that aren't well known to him being in his flat; I highly highly doubt he'd just give a key to his flat to some random girl who just so happens to related to John.

So, we're obviously dealing with a Replacement!Sherlock, and probably a Replacement!John and Replacement!Lestrade as well. Hmm... I'll think about it, but I'm not claiming this fic at the moment.

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Priority-Ultra Sherlock Sue! by Lily Winterwood on 2012-09-09 06:19:00 UTC Reply

The Other Watson, rated T.
Sherlock finds himself falling for John's niece Tabitha, who turns up on thier doorstep pregnant and with nowhere to go. Sherlock/OC

I'm labelling it priority-ultra because holy frak, Sherlock is mangled beyond recognition by the third chapter. My Agents are lined up for two or three crossover collaboration missions and have the daughter of Irene and Sherlock as well as another girl moves into 221C fic, so if there's someone with Permission who knows BBC Sherlock, please please please take it.
If not, my Agents have their work cut out for them.

Y'all should have seen my face when I read the summary. by Chatvert on 2012-09-10 05:45:00 UTC Reply

I thought it was going to freeze that way.

So...has this piece of work been taken or can I jump in with my Mace of Molog Bal and wreck its shit?

Yeah, Intel and I are working on the mission. by Lily Winterwood on 2012-09-10 05:47:00 UTC Reply

Should be ready in around two days at the latest (I have a Lot of Issues with this story, holy frak.)

I do have a reserve of other Sues you can take a look at if you'd like to put that Mace to work; there is one just as befuddling as this where the Sue is the daughter of Irene and Sherlock.

Oh, do please share. by Chatvert on 2012-09-10 05:49:00 UTC Reply

Kitty and Alec need to murder some more stuff. (And they will. Once I get the latter half of this two-parter off the ground, it's like a lead balloon on my conscience and I HATE IT SO MUCH.)

Here. by Lily Winterwood on 2012-09-10 05:52:00 UTC Reply

What could have happened.
I was working on getting charges with another Boarder, but now that Tabitha's around I don't know if I have the time to deal with this Sue as well. If you'll chuck me an email, I can give you the charges.

...wait how many chapters is thi-- ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE?! by Chatvert on 2012-09-10 05:56:00 UTC Reply

My mouth's writing checks that my body can't cash. Heigh ho, the things I do for canon.

They are short, and nonsensical, and I have charges. by Lily Winterwood on 2012-09-10 05:59:00 UTC Reply

So that should cover all the chapters up to the end of Pink or so.
(Seriously though, Sherlock Sues are very, very prolific. The Tabitha one is like... an anomaly. The average chapter length of these Suefics is like 35. Or something.)

I knew there was a reason I avoided the Sherlock section... by Chatvert on 2012-09-10 06:14:00 UTC Reply

...bloody hell. The superb quality of the Sherlock fics I've read so far has spoiled me. Looks like I found the 10% that Sturgeon's Law implies and now I'm getting tossed into the other named 90%.

It's very disheartening, I know. by Lily Winterwood on 2012-09-10 06:16:00 UTC Reply

I wasn't even aware of the existence of Sherlock Sues until a month ago, and then I found a goldmine of them, and then...
yeah.
I'm a Johnlock shipper, so most of the time I'm wrapped up in wonderful stories about the two of them, and a lot of Sues tend to cheapen that friendship and it just annoys me.

It's enough to make one create a Bleepka drinking game. by Chatvert on 2012-09-10 06:39:00 UTC Reply

I have some interesting feelings about Johnlock. I mean, I love most of the fics I've read with it, and when it's done right I adore it. At the same time I have a hard time not reading Sherlock as asexual, but not necessarily aromantic. And John has a huge man-crush on him. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER OKAY THAT'S WHY THEY'RE WILLING TO DIE FOR EACH OTHER AND *flips nearby table, fed up with waiting for next season, one of the arc words is Wedding, I CAN'T HANDLE THIS*

This basically sums up how I feel about them. "It's like I married my best friend--" "--but in a TOTALLY MANLY WAY!"

Exactly. by Sevenswans on 2012-09-10 23:38:00 UTC Reply

Because just because someone is asexual doesn't mean that they can't somehow find a soul mate. And because soul mate does not necessarily equal sex, sexual attraction, or any of that stuff. Yet, it seems that 90% of people who write fanfiction are unaware of the fact that there can be any sort of close relationships besides sexual ones, and ignore the romantic aspect entirely.

As an asexual I do have some pretty strong feelings about this, in case you couldn't tell. (Though, I'm not 100% certain that BBC Sherlock is asexual: he's usually very observant of when other people are in relationships, when that information seems useful to him, and he certainly notices Irene, though throughout that episode their interactions did read kind of oddly. Personally, I once got lost in my school gym because all the other girls had stopped to watch the guys play basketball with no shirts, which I hadn't even noticed was going on. I had to go back and find them and ask them why they'd stopped, but I suppose I can't be a completely representative sample for every Asexual.)

Seriously, though, that's why I love BBC Sherlock so much. The Sherlock/John relationship is, human heads in the freezer aside, pretty much an ideal slightly romantic friendship. And next season needs to get here now before I annoy the heck out of my friends going over last season with them.

Thank you. by Chatvert on 2012-09-11 05:09:00 UTC Reply

As an inarticulate grey-A, you've captured my feelings on it perfectly.

Yes, yes exactly! by Lily Winterwood on 2012-09-10 06:43:00 UTC Reply

I can ship them in any format - platonic, romantic, sexual, whatever. They're like soulmates for me (and I have been reading far too many fics in which they're descendants or reincarnations of the ACD!Holmes and Watson, oops).

And I have gotten to the point where I've drawn up a list of warning signs of a BBC Sherlock Holmes character replacement. I think the drinking game is on its way.

That's gonna kill off a lot of brain cells though, Bleepka.. by Chatvert on 2012-09-10 06:52:00 UTC Reply

Wait. Those fics exist? I WANT.

Excellent! Hope you don't mind if I follow you then? Name's the same.

Follow away! by Lily Winterwood on 2012-09-10 06:56:00 UTC Reply

And meanwhile here's one I just finished reading a couple days ago. Not Yet Dead by castiron. It's really good; it's one hell of a casefic that links together past and present and aaaaaugh, it's bloody amazing and the plot twists are great.
I've also written one myself with Johnlock and a lot of magic realism, called Once We Had Wings; it won third place at a Johnlock fanfiction competition.

*happy squealing* by Chatvert on 2012-09-10 06:59:00 UTC Reply

Magic realism + Johnlock = TWO GREAT TASTES THAT TASTE GREAT TOGETHER! Now I'm excited. Meanwhile, I'm trying to get my damn post-Reichenbach fic off the ground. It's pretty heavy so far but I promise one day it will be actually out there on its own like a grown-up fic.

Fic recs probably mean I will be good for absolutely nothing tomorrow. Worth it.

Sure thing! by Chatvert on 2012-09-10 05:54:00 UTC Reply

Oh, this is going to be FUN.

IT BURNS by IntelligentAirhead on 2012-09-09 20:58:00 UTC Reply

Oh, God, oh God, oh God. New member restrictions are killing me. Can I co-write with someone, please? Because Godtiss, this Sue needs to be destroyed.

I have a charge list. by Lily Winterwood on 2012-09-09 20:59:00 UTC Reply

My Agents are bored with the Diana Remus case and want to kill something. So. Yeah.

DOes this mean what I think it means? (nm.) (nm) by IntelligentAirhead on 2012-09-09 21:06:00 UTC Reply

AAAH, NMS & NMS! by Lily Winterwood on 2012-09-09 21:07:00 UTC Reply

-noms- I love the new Bled flavoured ones oh my god!

Anyway, yes. Get your spork out and get on Tumblr. Let's kill some Sue.

In the background you can hear the wails of Sue voices by IntelligentAirhead on 2012-09-09 21:09:00 UTC Reply

AWWWWW YEAH!

'Tis a glorious sound - lulls me right to sleep, it does. (nm) by KittyNoodles on 2012-09-09 21:20:00 UTC Reply

Oh, the woes of a new member's restrictions... by SpecstacularSC on 2012-09-09 17:23:00 UTC Reply

Oh man.

If only I had permission.

I would so go for this. Nobody messes with the cynical, snarky, royal investigator of Britain. NOBODY.

You could co-write by Tomash on 2012-09-09 19:09:00 UTC Reply

with someone who has Permission, if you really want to spork this.

Nah... by SpecstacularSC on 2012-09-09 19:16:00 UTC Reply

I think I'll just take the straight and narrow here and wait it out.

I can "pretend spork" it in the meantime for practice.

It'll work out just as well.

Thanks for the offer, though.

*Shudders* by Sevenswans on 2012-09-09 14:55:00 UTC Reply

Ewwww... how does John have a supposedly adult niece? I know Harry's supposed to be the older sibling, but still.

And the technical errors... Brrr. It's all... squishy.

(By the way, still slogging through Olivia the evil and her random appearance in manged canonical episodes. I finished reading/charging chapter 9.)
Sweet Conan Doyle... by Constellation on 2012-09-09 11:51:00 UTC Reply

I'd be more than glad to give it a go, this is just... icky. Icky-icky-icky. If only I had Permission...

... or maybe it be just the time to attempt to get a permission? Hm. Yes. Good. Put me somewhere on the list called "people who want to seriously mess with this fic one day".
Hngggh by Pretzel on 2012-09-09 08:29:00 UTC Reply

Oh dear Eru, there are so many things wrong with just the first chapter, let alone the rest of the story. I'd personally say that Sherlock's character is mangled beyond recognition in the first chapter alone, given his canonical distrust of people that aren't well known to him being in his flat; I highly highly doubt he'd just give a key to his flat to some random girl who just so happens to related to John.

So, we're obviously dealing with a Replacement!Sherlock, and probably a Replacement!John and Replacement!Lestrade as well. Hmm... I'll think about it, but I'm not claiming this fic at the moment.

If you take it, I already have a charge list drawn up. (nm) by Lily Winterwood on 2012-09-09 08:43:00 UTC Reply