Subject: Ah, understood.
Author:
Posted on: 2022-05-15 22:20:47 UTC
Anyways, that's a silly move on the Sue. She could've let Tinker Bell exist.
Thank you for clarifying that point!
-kA
Edit because I just read a bit of your post that you may have just edited in: Eh. One could pull off "chunks of orange" but I see now. I'm silly and somehow skipped that bit. Error on my part!
Still, you did great. I love it and can't wait for part 2!
As RC 🤘 travel into Pixie Hollow, they encounter a typical "edgy" Sue and a little surprise.
Ah, a new continuum! You definitely had fun with that description at the start, and it works as a contrast to the gothic OC when she shows up later.
One thing: I suggest clarifying what "sparrow men" are, for those of us unfamiliar with Disney's Cash-in-on-girl-toys Hollow. I was picturing the agents disguised as birds until I hit the "buff male warrior" line, and had to look up a wiki to find that "sparrow man" is just the word for a male fairy.
—doctorlit
Sorry for the late reply and thanks for commenting as always 🤣
Anyways, enough of my rant.
I really loved the description piece at the beginning, as well as one of the agents zipping around and fully enjoying himself.
Ugh, a Pixie being born from the cry (cries? The fic is kinda confusing) of a person (or people)? Gods. Even though I haven't messed around with Pixies in a while, it makes me want to tear... something. It makes me want to tear something.
A little catch here: It might not necessarily be replacing Tinker Bell (unless that's explictly noted in the fic, then carry on) because many Pixies "spawn" that way.
"charge for butt-ugly hair!" As a person with brown (albeit dark brown), extremely long (about mid-thigh level) hair, I take offense to that statement. (Just joking.)
How is the black gem a talent? Is the Sue tapented at being goth?
Mild BL2 for anyone reading the mission and also reading this review, although it's towards the end.
Hmm... I wonder what happens next?
This was pretty light and funny, in my opnion, and your bits about Pixie Hollow captured it perfectly and made me happy. Too bad the Sue had to be a goth and ruin it, you know? The only thing I see wrong is automatically assuming the Sue is a replacement, but that could be an error on my part. Otherwise, it was really enjoyable!
-kA
And I quote: Okay, just one thing needs to be said about this new fanfic… Tinkerbell never existed; I am simply using Pixy Hollow and the other fairies. Annnnnnnnnnnnd… instead of 'Tinkerbell', I will be using my own original character! WOOP! Okay, here we go! I don't own Tinkerbell…
Also, about the hair… "chunks" of orange? Definitely doesn't sound good.
Anyways, that's a silly move on the Sue. She could've let Tinker Bell exist.
Thank you for clarifying that point!
-kA
Edit because I just read a bit of your post that you may have just edited in: Eh. One could pull off "chunks of orange" but I see now. I'm silly and somehow skipped that bit. Error on my part!
Still, you did great. I love it and can't wait for part 2!
I recently read through your entire body of work, and it's really good! Your sense of voice and uniqueness is very strong, and the easily digestible missions are a nice change of pace. I like this one, too! Not much to say, except Kaguya's evolution has been really enjoyable.
I generally like to keep it lighthearted, and don't want to have super horrible things happen to my agents (even as I subject them to laws of comedy). About 'guya… he's actually the hardest character to write, since it's a challenge to keep his admirable traits from going into Stu territory and keeping his goofish traits fresh and funny, especially after the big character growth mission.
Pretty short so far, though. It was nice. Not much else to say.