It was a good day to be Captain Edward "Jolly" Sharpe of the Golden Gamble. It was always a good day to be a pirate, after all. Salt air on his face and treasure in his hold, his cutlass honed to a razor edge and his pistols sitting snug on their bandoliers, what more could a man possibly need? Most pirates plied waters, but Sharpe sailed the seven seas of canon, plundering those who would step in that nebulous space between. Many called them Sue, Stu, 'Oo, but Ol' Jolly Sharpe called them "easy plunderin'."

So Sharpe sat on his ship and watched his newest target, making sure to write on his Treasure Map all her misdeeds and where the gold was found - so that Port Authority wouldn't want his head or his hoard. So Sharpe laughed and sang sea shanties as he sailed behind that fishing ground for targets called Black Pearl, and so when it was time, he leapt up from an ambush (as all good pirates do) and emerged with his cutlass and pistol.

"Ay, scallywag! I'm Cap'n 'Jolly' Sharpe an' I'm 'ere to keelhaul ye on the followin' grounds: Seducin' Cap'n Jack Sparrow, gettin' yer timeframes for telecommunication mixed up, character assassination, an' not with a pistol, worse grammar errors than proper pirate speech, whackin' everyone's personality more adrift than William Bligh, makin' hills 'ave eyes and Liverpool smell like anythin' but rottin' fish, makin' a glittery version o' the Pearl, acquirin' a big bag o' shinies for me to take an' of course, fer bein' a no-good glitterbag. To Davy Jones's Locker with ya!"

Soon the deed was done and old Jolly Sharpe had a few new swords, a golden cannon, and an entire glittering ship for his collection. His old messenger pigeon crowed that there was a new target in the My Little Pony continuum, and Sharpe turned the wheel of his ship up and into the stream of consciousness once more, as the canon forgot all about his target behind him.

To be a Pirate of the Plot Continuum was the best job ever.

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It's the PPC, but pirates. Why? It's fun.

Feel free to write your own Pirate!Agents.