re: mission by
on 2022-08-09 01:46:36 UTC
Have read by
on 2022-08-08 00:37:50 UTC
Heh, Elsa-inspired student . . . It's not a completely out-of-place concept (you could argue that Else serves as an antagonist for at least part of Frozen!), but there was no reason for the OC to be such an attention black hole. I like that this Riddle fellow got to show off both his magic, and a bit of school regulation-citing in the finale. And giving the agents a bit of DOGA work as a wrap-up was a fun change, especially the mass reality rooming moment.
One nitpick that isn't really a typo: when you first have Inasuke speak, you call him "the 145 cm brown-haired agent in school-wide ceremonial dress uniform." That is quite a mouthful, especially for folks like me who already know the characters in your spin-off. it's okay to just say, "Inasuke ranted" there.
And then, two actual typos:
. . . his powers could still be simply disabled by ways of Riddle Rosehearts's unique magic.
I usually hear this phrased as "by way of", with a singular "way"
. . . the agents kicked back and watched the uncanonical building drowned in a sky-high inferno . . .
This could either be "and watched as the uncanonical building drowned" or "and watched the uncanonical building drown"
—doctorlit did not nap today and is very sleepy
Oh, can I have Raven Night College? by
on 2022-08-05 16:32:50 UTC
The way the canon integration was handled at the end was a nice touch.
One minor observation is that I didn't see much of the agents' character in the mission, and while that's not inherently a bad thing, I thought it was worth poniting out.
Have read by
on 2022-08-04 15:54:00 UTC
Also, not sure Inappropriate Nicknames can be adopted.
It was good. Please warn for profanity, by the way.
Um, I didn’t realize neuralyzers could be disguised.