It… doesn't seem that bad

An HP trollfic. by Linstar on 2022-08-20 18:37:31 UTC Badfic report Reply

Here is “Harry’s Destiny,” a bizarre trollfic (I think) with abysmal SPaG. Ginny is evil, and there’s some OC (that the author insists isn’t a Mary Sue) named Flora who tries to marry Harry in the second chapter. Oh, and Voldemort supposedly has a twin named Thanatos.

Yeah, I’m confused.

—Ls found this through TvTropes’ trollfic page.

I found an HP songfic. by Linstar on 2022-08-26 17:39:33 UTC Reply

Here is "Hermiones Talent," in which Hermione sings songs to prove that "muggles" have talents too. Or something.

--Ls
Speaking of HP badfics, by Lily Winterwood on 2022-08-21 08:47:54 UTC Reply

Nesh, Zing, and I have been giggling for the past several days about a series of AUs using the same worldbuilding that is just hair kink and Regency romance, but make it wizards.

A gem of a snippet:
Bellatrix flicks her wrist, activating the faerie lamps on the balcony. With the additional light, the true surprise is revealed. It’s a carpet, woven in the ancient style from Bellatrix’s own hair. It shimmers with magic beneath the stars. It took her months to weave it by hand on an Enchanted loom Crafted from willow wood.

She is grateful that Lord Gervaise Ollivander keeps such excellent records. Else she might not have been able to acquire wood from the precise willow tree that birthed Lily’s wand.

“Oh, Bellatrix!” Lily gasps, her green eyes shining with tears and awe in the faerie light as she kneels on the stonework of the balcony without a care for her expensive gown. “I cannot believe my eyes. This is a magic carpet woven from your hair, is it not?”

She strokes it reverently with her ungloved hand.

Bellatrix shivers as she feels the sensation of phantom fingers in her hair. It’s not physical, merely an echo felt through her magic. It’s delectable all the same.

“It is.”

Bellatrix is a Lady of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Even moreso than that, Bellatrix has ever been one to experience emotions in their extremest forms. It is partially her Black ancestry, to be sure, but its intensity is individual to herself.

The rest, for your reading pleasure.

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It… doesn't seem that bad by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2022-08-21 11:46:12 UTC Edited Reply

It has good SPaG for one. Ofc, I'm not in HP fandom so take what I say with a tablespoon of salt.

SPaG is the least of your worries here. by Lily Winterwood on 2022-08-21 13:13:34 UTC Reply

The worldbuilding is a lot of ridiculous purity kink with things like "the only people allowed to touch a witch's hair are her father, her husband, and her son", and "if you see a witch with her hair down you have to marry her", and ofc "no premarital ~~sex~~ bonding". Then there's a lot of Pureblood apologia and anti-Muggleborn sentiment, as the worldbuilding clearly makes a distinction between the Good Muggleborns ("New Bloods") and the Filthy Bad Mudbloods (anyone who recognises that the Pureblood customs are antiquated and frankly sexist).

And because the creepy eugenics-like blood purity nonsense is taken to 11 and viewed as good and desirable, the resultant fics end up creating pairings like Bellatrix/Lily, Harry/Astoria Greengrass (some rando Slytherin), Lord Voldemort/Fem!Harry, Snape/Fem!Harry, Salazar Slythern/Fem!Harry, etc, etc, that all are very much "shove two characters' names together and say they're magical soulmates". Characters who express any awareness of the inherent brokenness of the system are eventually ground down into accepting it in the name of twoo wuv, or else are labelled Blood Traitors and Mudbloods and thus scorned by the narration. The goal of the worldbuilding is, ultimately, ~~holy matrimony~~ Bonding under the blessing of Mother Magic (don't even get me started on how the worldbuilding has messed with Morgana le Fay), and then the perpetuation of Pureblood bloodlines through lots and lots of children with ridiculous names.

It's really bad, but it's also really funny, because the names are so bad and everyone is so OOC and it's like reading abstinence-only purity fic with Harry Potter window dressing.

~Lily (Not Angry, just explaining in the simplest terms possible)

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I don’t think I got into that all... by Linstar on 2022-08-21 13:54:28 UTC Reply

...but—wow. Just...wow. I don’t think that could touch canon with 39 1/2 foot spork. Does Morgan Le Fey even exist in the Potterverse? And blood purity obsession?

Please kill this.

—Ls, Not Angry either, just borrowing kA’s favorite phrase.

Morgana does exist; Ron got a bunch of Chocolate Frog Cards of her. by Lily Winterwood on 2022-08-24 13:02:18 UTC Reply

It's just that... she's married to Merlin and also the daughter of ~Mother Magic~ in this AU.

The blood purity obsession does exist in the books, but got kicked up to 11 and turned into an aristocracy thing. Lord Potter is a very popular subgenre of Potterverse fics, and generally involve turning Harry into a Gary Stu.

Yeah, and the blood purity obsession is usually treated as a bad thing. Since, y’know, it is. (nm) by Linstar on 2022-08-24 13:09:36 UTC Reply

It is! by Lily Winterwood on 2022-08-24 16:03:27 UTC Reply

Some sides of the HP fandom just really stan the Slytherins to the point of being apologists for Death Eaters, unfortunately.

SPaG? Good. The rest? Not so much. by Linstar on 2022-08-21 12:51:36 UTC Reply

I’m gonna say, everyone seems OOC, there’s some “heir” gibberish, and...the titles of some of the fics are just ridiculous.

Besides, I think the PG girls’ club know their Harry Potter.

—Ls

Also found this. by Linstar on 2022-08-20 19:24:13 UTC Edited Reply

“Avatars New Destiny 2” is a trollfic as well. I think.

—Ls