Yay! It's out! (nm)

New interlude! by leafeyes on 2023-02-03 22:26:05 UTC Reply

I came back two months ago to finish a mission. In the time since then I've finished a new interlude, which is SFW unlike everything else I've written for the PPC. However, the interlude is set immediately after my last mission which was highly NSFW, and as such the interlude includes references to incest, burn injuries, and Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics. The interlude sees my agents taking A Day to Heal after dealing with one of the Fire Emblem fandom's most infamous badfics. A big thank you to Linstar for beta reading this.

The interlude was honestly fun to write, as I haven't had a chance to focus on some of the more interesting aspects of my agents' backstories until now, especially Elena's glitch team. It's also nice to actually finish this since I started it in 2020. I'm also working on the next mission for these two, which is targeting a fic every bit as awful as the one they came from and will ensure that the agents needed this break.

That was a nice post-mission interlude by Tomash on 2023-02-08 05:20:55 UTC Reply

(It's late at night, I don't have super-detailed thoughts atm, but I thought you'd want to know you have readers)
re: interlude by doctorlit on 2023-02-08 03:50:58 UTC Reply

Oh wow, it’s been so long since I thought about Pokémon glitches . . . It was really fun seeing a bunch of them “in the flesh,” existing in a proper narrative, rather than just being jumbles of code on a screen! And I loved the portions where ゥ causes real life glitches to manifest and affect the other characters, as well as the sound! Oh, and the gag with Valka having her own volume control that the Medical staff have learned how to restore is hilarious! One thing I didn’t understand was the comment that “Bulbasaur had exploded.” Is that a glitchy Bulbasaur that knows Explosion, or did one of the glitches cause that to happen?

I like that this interlude has a good mix of silliness and sincerity. The glitches are funny, but I like that Valka still took the steps to rescue her partner, and to check up on the characters they rescued from the prior mission. I also appreciated that Valka gave Elena the subtle nudge to go spend time in FicPsych. Your characters are very thoughtful, and that’s a nice balance to the humorous tone of the PPC!

And now, here’s that thing I do where I nitpick grammar stuff! Sorry!
Elena cautiously sat down the rest of her pokéballs.
“Set down.” Also, “Poké Balls” bucks the usual trend by being two separate words!

“Yes,” Valka replied, “she’s from Pokémon.”
The titles of big series get italicized, so Pokémon

“Nothing was ever said about Marcia and Makalov’s family.” Valka answered.
The period at the end of the dialogue should be a comma.

“Finally,” Nicole said, “Did anything odd happen during pregnancy? . . .”
Since the dialogue is all one sentence (Finally, did anything . . .), the “d” in “did” should be lowercase.

“I understand,” Nicole added “temporal distortion: extreme” . . .
Oh, I see! Two of your sentences swapped punctuation while you weren’t looking! This comma should be a period.

—doctorlit couldn’t resist the siren call of duplicating items in his youth . . . RIP Hall of Fame . . .
Yay! It's out! (nm) by Linstar on 2023-02-03 22:48:42 UTC Reply