Subject: Congrats! (nm)
Author:
Posted on: 2023-03-28 23:18:53 UTC
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Permission request by
on 2023-03-28 17:39:56 UTC
Permission request
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Welp, here we go. Been working on this for a while.
Here are my agent profiles and writing sample. I got a bit carried away so it's quite long, but feel free to stop at the first [BEEEEEEEP] or when they head into the mission.
Here is the fic I plan to spork first. Nominally, it's a Yandere Simulator fanfiction. It has Pokémon "references" (not!Ash Ketchum is the main sue's husband) and Danganronpa "references" (Ayano is the ultimate cosplayer and goes to a Hope's Peak High knockoff). Despite spending so much time going on about how great Ayano's new adoptive family is, they still fail to make the group of overpowered rich murderous assassins sympathetic. I plan to spork until the end of chapter one, since the chapters are pretty big and that would still keep it a nice digestible size for me. Chapter one is where most of the terribleness happens anyway.
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[dusts off Hat] by
on 2023-03-28 18:18:41 UTC
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Do I know you? Seen you around for a while. Check.
Your agents. You've got some interesting concepts here, and they feel quite grounded as characters, with the potential for some great moments where their respective pasts and personalities can play off each other. Which brings me to...
Your writing sample. Already I feel like I got a good sense for who Melody and Florence are and how they work together as partners. I like the friendly banter between them, how you play with the text format mid-sentence as they revert the Words from italics to normal, and the very abused and barely-working CAD held together by duct tape and a prayer adds even more levity to the sample. (And can I just say, the implication that the hairdryer has a flamethrower setting got a genuine laugh out loud from me?)
If I had to sum up the writing sample, it feels like a throwback to Jay and Acacia—which is a good thing! It's classic PPC. You have a solid start to the mission and I'd love to see more of it.
SPaG. Looks good. Checkmark.
And last but not least...
Fic to be sporked. I had no idea this was one of the infamous Pakura fics clicking in, but hoo boy. You've definitely picked a zinger in this one.
Best of luck in handling it... which is to say, PERMISSION GRANTED!
Have fun, remember your Bleeprin, and may your agents' first outing be a success!
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Congrats! (nm) by
on 2023-03-28 23:18:53 UTC
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Congratulations! (nm) by
on 2023-03-28 23:12:29 UTC
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Yay! by
on 2023-03-28 19:22:14 UTC
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Congrats, Mel!
Puts on an I beta'd this hat~-Ls
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Yaaaay thanks! (nm) by
on 2023-03-28 18:48:28 UTC
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Wow, two new writers in a row! (nm) by
on 2023-03-28 18:39:00 UTC
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