Subject: [Raises hand] That is actually a thing.
Author:
Posted on: 2023-04-06 15:13:23 UTC
The Christkind is the Christmas gift-bringer across a swathe of Europe. Wikipedia sources the idea to Martin Luther, who definitely intended it to be the actual Baby Jesus.
hS
Prisoner of Azkaban time! Starting with dinner with the Dursleys going sideways.
Warnings for this chapter: References to terrorism, specifically of The Troubles, which was happening at this time. Uncle Vernon also makes insensitive remarks about brown immigrant families, especially regarding domestic abuse.
I'm sorry, but that sounds utterly ridicolous to me - in fact, the fact Circle-Of-Gits Purebloods play a Muggle game is ridicolous all in itself!
The part with Harry sherlocking things with Aunt Sevvy, and her so clearly doing her best to hide the fact she's proud of his cleverness, was great. I also really like this Draco, and I like this version of the Order of the Phoenix. Ryan is also a very nice guy, so I think I'll look up his PPC counterpart.
All in all, a nice fun chapter that still trickled in elements of the big plot!
Also, forgive me if your note at the end about Chinese names made me confused for a second. The Li surname being that of an ancient family of magic users? I think I've heard this somewhere else already.
...so I don't think it's unreasonable to say wizards could've picked it up, too. Same for pall-mall (a precursor to croquet)!
Basically, I think any game that predates 1689 could have been picked up by wizards as well :P
Yeah, Draco's developing! Kicking and screaming along the way, but it's happening!
Ryan's PPC counterpart is in 1 published mission and some assorted interludes and he's... considerably grumpier at the PPC :P
Ah, I wasn't thinking of that Li family necessarily, but... basically, the surnames Li, Liu, and Zhang are derived from the Eight Great Surnames of ancient China, which are very, very old surnames indeed (and form the basis for me deciding whether or not a Chinese family is of the Hundred Generation Purebloods). They all have mythological origins irl, so naturally in a magic setting like the Potterverse those mythological origins have a seed of truth. So the Zhang family comes from the mythological archer Houyi (who in this verse may not have shot down extra suns, but was probably magically capable of hitting whatever he wanted), the Liu family comes from a dragon tamer named Liu Lei, and the Li family is descended from Shaohao, a legendary part-fae vulture Animagus.
Thank you for reading!
I love Draco's progress! His willingness to change is so nice to see, and it looks like he's inadvertently helped Cedric along, as well! I wonder how many Hogwarts students will get dragged kicking and screaming into the 20th century by the end of year seven . . .
The Order dinner was nice to read. Forcing the Pureblood-minded students into engaging with Muggle culture without letting them get angry over it . . . It's exactly what I was hoping to see! And it's nice seeing Liu even more chill than usual, without any PPC agents causing shenanigans for him to react to. I can understand why Dumbledore and the school board were able to agree on Professor Liu!
Man, Prince has so many of the clues about Scabbers right there in her mind, she just doesn't realize there's a mystery to apply those facts to . . .
—doctorlit hadn't heard of Sue Li before today
Yep. It's a combination of him missing Hermione's company, being laughed at by the other students in the Circle for not being able to make Hermione a New Blood, and then getting attacked last year... the seemingly senseless violence enacted to punish fellow Purebloods for not adhering to the rules is making a lot of students question why they're even involved in this sort of thing.
The Order has always been a resource for people trying to leave the Circle (note Mrs Figg mentioning in chapter 1 that she helped New Bloods readjust to Muggle life). It's going to pivot into political organising once this world's Voldemort is back on the scene, but in the meantime, it's here to help the kids get along.
Yeah, she does! It's just that she has no reason to accuse a rat of trying to kill her :P
Thanks for reading!
Draco f***s around and finds out insults a Hippogriff, and an accident occurs in Potions class.
Warning that Draco Malfoy is embarking on a faith deconstruction arc, so themes of religious trauma are going to get heavier with him from here on out. Also Hermione's Boggart uses the m-word on her.
Ah man, Hermione still went for the Time-Turner, even after experiencing such a hectic schedule in year one? Hope she doesn’t get too stressed out. And the Order of the Phoenix is a publicly acknowledged student discussion forum in this timeline? While that sounds like the sort of group I would have wanted to join, I feel like the “all ideas are given equal merit” element is going to run into problems when so many students have the “idea” of blood purity . . . something something providing a platform to Nazis, something something debate bro joke something?
All right, he’s there, it’s the man, Liu Siyu—checks notes—Ryan. Interesting that the Board of Governors finds him acceptable, if he’s married to such a rebellious figure as Jenni. Also interesting that he’s married to Jenni at all!
Okay, Ancient Runes class is cooooooool. I’m a bit sad we didn’t get to see it much in canon, but I love what you’re doing with it here. It sounds fun; it’s like the Hogwarts answer to art class! I’m intrigued about the teacher as well.
As monstrous as it is to read Prince threatening to hurt an animal to test a potion . . . I admit my knowledge that Scabbers is actually Pettigrew may have colored me reading of that scene a bit. “Yes, good, dump the boy in the potion, he’s been a very bad boy . . .” Far too clever of him to sabotage the potion with a firework, and Ron is SO CLOSE to figuring it out, if he can just make like Sherlock, eliminate the impossible, and realize there was only one being in the room with access to his own pockets . . .
So this line:
“Harry stepped aside, sending Hermione an encouraging smile as she stared down the party-Dementor.”
—is so, so beautiful. Please be proud. But then, you had to follow that shining gem with a big old slap in the reader’s face, by which I mean Hermione’s boggart. OW. So painful to read friends being cruel like that, even knowing it’s not really them. The scene with Myrtle was lovely, though; it’s nice seeing Myrtle be genuinely supportive of another student, rather than acting like a reactionary reverse bully. (I hope she’s not going to hang out in a bathroom all the time, though? After being trapped for so long, she should get to wander the whole castle!)
—doctorlit, partying with Dementors all day
Hermione's too much of a nerd to let the opportunity to take ALL the classes go! I'm sure she thinks that she'll be fine because at least this time she'll be studying things worth learning!
The Order of the Phoenix is an evolution of Dumbledore's study group from when he was a Hogwarts student! There's an allusion to it existing in Tom Riddle's time in year 2, since Dumbledore wanted him to attend a meeting in one of the memories. The Order is meant to evoke a feeling of a salon, like the circle of Gertrude Stein and friends, etc. It's also what Slughorn wishes his Slug Club could be. The point is actually more to give Muggleborn students a platform + deradicalising Pureblood students by having them interact in an equal, extracurricular setting with Muggleborn students. I was inspired by the deradicalisation of Derek Black re: Order meetings. Anyway, you'll see how it shakes out as the year progresses!
Prior to teaching at Hogwarts, Ryan was a part-time etiquette (or whatever subject encompasses the classical Chinese arts of calligraphy, painting, chess, and music) teacher at Beauxbatons and spent summers tutoring British Pureblood kids on holiday in France. After moving back to Britain he started preparing Pureblood students for Hogwarts (I mean, those kids have got to learn to read and write somehow...) So that's why the Board trusts him in spite of Jenni's invention--he's got experience with some of their kids, but he's also friendly with Dumbledore so there won't be administration conflict like there probably was previously for Greengrass and Lockhart. (I'm only telling you this now because I don't know how much of this Harry will find out, haha)
Ancient Runes is a bit art class, a bit coding class, and a bit foreign language class! And Professor Babbling is indeed an enigma ;)
Yeah, I figured everyone knowing who Scabbers really was might make them root for Sev to shrink him. But Ron is also coloured by his belief that his pet really is just an old mangy rat! If the rat dropped the firework into the potion, it was totally done on accident!
Hermione's Boggart is definitely scarier in this world than in the books :P Poor girl is dealing with a lot! I think Myrtle primarily chills in the bathroom, but she does have the run of the castle, yeah.
Thanks for reading!
Haven't got anything that particularly caught me this time, though, so sorry about that! But I enjoyed it all.
Oh, at last, Hedwig is here! I've been wondering about Hedwig . . . the whole time! Definitely was looking forward to . . . okay, yeah, it's embarrassing, but I totally didn't notice the owl was missing all this time, but in my defense, this story has a LOT going on! Interesting that she's kind of acting like canon!Crookshanks here . . . or maybe owl just Be Like That around rat friend.
Ah, I see the Quibbler is the only legitimate investigational journal around! I mean, I doubt Sirius took bribe money from Gaunt, but I wouldn't be surprised if the Atrium was, indeed, an inside job. After all, wand fuel can't melt marble pillars!
Love the whole Dementor sequence! I know it's not significantly different, besides the extra characters, but it was Good To read, nonetheless! I like the acknowledgement of Luna's mom and how it would affect her around Dementors, and how Draco's drained status would leave him more vulnerable as well. And I love Hermione using Éowyn, ringwraiths, and athelas as metaphors for what just happened. Very apt! (Feel bad for Harry having to wait all through the school year to finish a book, though, dang.)
"Harry compiled, and Draco slid in between him and Ginny."
That's wizard's programming!
—doctorlit apologizes for that tasteless "wand fuel" joke. As we all know, only house elf magic is strong enough to melt marble pillars. ELF RIGHTS NOW
(edit was due to forgetting to make a number joke in the title)
(I mean, Queen of Hearts, right?)
Hedwig's absence was probably most noticeable in 1st year when they had to borrow Percy's owl to send the message about Norbert, leading to Percy catching wind of their plans. But yeah, other than that, Crookshanks has been doing a surprisingly good job of delivering messages from Hagrid, haha.
And, as I mentioned to Sergio--are we sure Hedwig knows something's off about Scabbers, or is she just mad that she can't eat That rat in particular? ;)
Gaunt did the Atrium Bombing You'll just have to wait and see! And also, the Quibbler was the last bastion of truth in book 7, so it's not like there's no precedent for this ;)
Harry's probably reading the books on his own and writing to Mum about them when he's at Hogwarts. But he's going to be very slow about it because of all of his adventures. And yes, I'm glad you like the analogy with the Ringwraiths; I wouldn't be surprised if that was part of the inspiration for the Dementors in the first place. I know the books were focused on Harry's trauma, but realistically I imagine there's more students at Hogwarts than just him who would faint at a Dementor.
Hah, Draco coming in between Harry and Ginny ;P
Thank you for reading!
And, since Crookshanks was introduced early replacing Hedwig, it feels oddly fitting that Hedwig replaced Crookshanks as Hermione's pet. I wonder how the way Hedwig recognized Scabbers as Peter will be played out, though - I thought that sniffing out untrustworthy people is a specialty of Kneazles and part-Kneazles?
...is Hedwig really recognising Peter, or is Hedwig just mad Ron won't let her eat Scabbers? ;)
The Trio go shopping at Allegoric Alley, feat. Firebolts and Uncle Regulus!
Oh boy, Allegoric Alley again. I hate all the phoniness here, the clothing, the classism, the wealth. It’s all so gross, there’s nothing here I would want to—library? Library!? I want it, I need it, gimme them books, I—
Anyway, do you think the wizarding community has trouble keeping plant populations healthy? It’s those “individually-selected birch twig”s that made me think of it. Like, how many of an average birch’s twigs are satisfactory for “aerodynamic perfection”? And then there’s the wood for the broom handle, the quaffles, the wands, and the animal bits inside the wands . . . maybe it’s not all that different from how we’re burning through natural resources like mad in the real world, but the wizarding world just seems a lot more finicky about all this stuff gets made . . . I wonder how many magical plants are endangered due to demand for their effects . . . Oh, also, it’s somehow super-hard for me to imagine the inside of Quicksilver and Snidget. I don’t think it would have the same vibe as a muggle Dick’s sporting goods, somehow . . .
Hm. So, “Gaunt’s reappointment ceremony” and “ousted Gaunt from office” . . . was Gaunt actually the Minister for Magic at some point? And Sirius was both seen at the time, and his wand was used, but that’s not altogether different from the canon attack he got blamed for. eyes shift slowly over to Ron’s pocket (Was anyone actually hurt in this “attack,” or did Sirius legit get sent to Azkaban for defacing an atrium in this timeline?)
Oh also, congratulations: the line “Perhaps if you ask Mother Magic, She’ll bless you with one for Yule,” is officially the cringiest line I’ve ever had the misfortune to process with my brain, my very eyes are gagging, thank you for that. (Like, Siriusly seriously, that’s the equivalent of if Christians believed Jesus brought Christmas presents, and I’m not religious at all, but if there’s one thing Jesus and I are super down with together, it’s the whole “money gtfo” thing. Just. Mixing their main religious figure with such a commercialized process as Yule presents is just. Blegh, vomit. I hate it.)
—doctorlit wants that library, he’s going to get that library, it will be his, his Precious, only his
The Athenaeum is directly lifted from the Boston Athenaeum, so you could hypothetically go there irl :DDDD
Given that the wizarding population is actually pretty low (since 100,000 attendees at the Quidditch World Cup is already considered a massive amount), I don't know if they can really cause ecological damage on the same scale as us Muggles. To me it seems like broom parts are harvested from branches and twigs, and wand wood is very carefully tended (or else the Bowtruckles will get you). In this 'verse, a plant extinct to Muggles (Silphium) has been cultivated back into existence by mages, so I think magic may have some mitigating effect on resource utilisation?
Quicksilver and Snidget should have the vibe of a bougie sporting goods store (think LL Bean or REI, with a slight bit less mountain lodge and a slight bit more Oxford/Cambridge snobbiness) but I did just crack up at the thought of it having the vibe of a Dick's Sporting Goods!
Gaunt was not Minister for Magic, but rather Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, which is a separate office from Minister for Magic. In this universe, the Minister for Magic is like a prime minister, but the Chief Warlock is like a speaker of the parliament. Since canon doesn't really explicate any political parties, I've decided that people vote for the politician rather than the party (which is what you'd see in parliamentary systems like in the UK), and those politicians form their own alliances and factions to get stuff done. Currently, with Dumbledore as Chief Warlock, he heads a pro-Muggleborn faction in the Wizengamot, whereas Gaunt's old faction represented moreso the interests of the Most Ancient Houses. As mentioned in Year Two, a good portion of Wizengamot seats are hereditary seats for members of the Most Ancient Houses, and the rest are elected representatives for major Wizarding enclaves.
Well, you've also got to factor in the fact that Sirius' parents were looking for an excuse to have him locked away because he was too outspoken about progressive, pro-Muggleborn and pro-witch stuff, so.........
As hS mentioned, some parts of Europe do believe in Baby Jesus giving presents! But I was thinking moreso of the way kids in some Christian families are taught to pray and ask God for things they want. It does have a Santa vibe!
Just like only a few individual speciments of a plant species can provide wand-quality wood, it might be that only a few individual speciments have enough magical potential to work well in a broom. Likely still less than wand-quality wood (and so likely not attracting Bowtruckles), but the "individually selected birch twigs" might be so because they're not just aerodynamically selected, but also magically selected - and it makes sense since it is implied that is the "tail" of the broom that affects speed and maneuverability (and, let's face it, it's magic that keeps them up).
The Firebolt itself is an example of that - I remember reading somewhere that it is also available with hazel twigs as an alternative to birch ones, birch giving better climbing while hazel gives more precise handling. While the handling can be justified non-magically with, say, a different flexibility of the wood, the only way the birch twigs give more climbing power is through them providing better magical thrust.
And it makes sense for both options to be available - different flyers might prefer different behaviours. I suspect birch twigs are preferred by Quidditch players (though not by all of them), while those who buy the Firebolt as if it was a "sports bike" and would use it for travelling are more likely to prefer the hazel twigs at the tamer handling make for a less fatiguing flight.
While I'm at it, nice chapter! While slower and with less "stakes", it does a very good job at worldbuilding.
I think some care goes into selecting woods for average or kids' brooms, but at the Firebolt and racing broom level people are definitely getting choosier about the wood that goes into the handles and bristles. That's probably why the Firebolt is price upon request expensive, too.
Thank you! I think year 3 overall is a little bit lower stakes, but there's a lot of character-driven plot going on in this year to make up for it!
Oh, wow. That library looks like it goes hard. Wish we had anything remotely like that in Arizona . . .
I totally forgot how small the wizard population is, compared to muggles. My brain subconsciously wants to equalize them at a 1:1 ratio!
Oooooh. Sirius's parents are traaaaaash . . .
—doctorlit
The Christkind is the Christmas gift-bringer across a swathe of Europe. Wikipedia sources the idea to Martin Luther, who definitely intended it to be the actual Baby Jesus.
hS
I can see the value in keeping Christmas tied closer to the Christ, and I suppose the hypermaterlialist capitalism of today wasn't present yet in Luther's time . . . but it definitely feels like an uncomfortable mix of the spiritual and the material, to me.
—doctorlit, throwing the money-changers out of the temple
Harry opens his birthday presents.
Warning in this chapter for a reference to (BL9) immolation.
Oh, wow. Bellatrix is . . . fairly normal? Like, no surprise she’s way into the Pureblood stuff, but she doesn’t seem the “cackling murder” type if she’s hanging out in France and raising a daughter! And speaking of the daughter . . . Whoa! Delphi exists in this universe?! Kind of assumed she couldn't happen here . . . Her birth’s been moved up by about a decade, and I assume the father is different, but . . . wow! A version of Delphi who . . . might . . . not grow up evil and miserable is kind of neat to think about! She’s just another kid! Yay!
I see you couldn’t resist squeezing a Mo Dao Zu Shi reference in here! : )
Aw, man, I feel bad for Gary and Rose. It’s hard to preserve friendships when you wind up in a different school, but this is so much worse. They’re inherently never going to be privy to most of Harry’s life from now on. And what’s Harry supposed to say? Even something as simple as the class names at Hogwarts would give everything away. What Hogwarts really needs is a creative writing class! Then, Harry and Hermione can work together brainstorming a narrative to account for the entire year, that Harry can then tell to Rose and Gary over the summer! (And also Lockhart could have learned to come up with his own plots!)
—doctorlit, advocating for more actual academics at Hogwarts
-soft, evil laughter at Doc's hopefulness about Bellatrix and Delphi-
Cultivation is actually a sizeable genre beyond MDZS derived from Taoist beliefs, so that's actually what's being referenced by the "internal alchemists" here. You can read more about it here. Incidentally, the original Purityworld author conceptualises magic in a similar way to cultivation, so it wasn't too much of a stretch.
(Insert joke about Lux doing dual cultivation to maintain her timeless blonde good looks here ;) )
Yes, poor Gary and Rose! The separate-school drift is even worse when the other school is culturally stuck in the 1790s ;)))
Thank you for reading!
With Gary and Rose, Harry is really stuck between a rock and a hard place here.
They're going through a rough patch in their friendship. We'll see how it turns out, though...
Oh, wow. The Dursleys. How I . . . missed? . . . seeing them in this universe. Yay? Though I’m amused to see that Dudley can’t seem to escape the pig tail in any timeline. And it felt very appropriate and satisfying for Vernon to get the Aunt Marge treatment. Yeeees, kiss your own ceiling, gross racist suburbanite, kiss the ceiling. Ahem. Anyway, feeling myself agree with Petunia’s assessment of the “freakish hair cult” was like waking up to a face-slap for an alarm, but hey: when the lady’s right, the lady’s right, and the lady is right. Be nice if she and her family could summon up a bit more empathy over it, though. Oh. And you just had to give the cupboard under the stairs a cameo, didn’t you! :p
Regulus, nooooo! You were such a cool, hardcore dude in canon! Don’t get all weird on me now that you’ve lived into your thirties! You can still be cool and hardcore in your thirties! You don’t need to play at the Purebloods’ games!
—doctorlit gives Sirius pat pats, he is good doggo
Vernon should be grateful he didn't go flying off into the sky like Marge did in the books! And you know what they say about stopped clocks re Petunia.
I couldn't resist showing the cupboard in action for its intended purpose :P
Regulus has, from my recollections of the 5th book, always been more deep-rooted into the Pureblood nonsense. He was the golden child to Sirius' scapegoat. And he was a Death Eater. He only turned against Voldemort because Voldemort hurt Kreacher. You'll see more of him as the year goes on, though, so maybe reserve your judgement on his coolness for later? ;)
Thanks for reading!
My brain latched onto the whole "managed to ferret out a Horcrux and steal it out from Voldemort's nose" thing, and forgot the rest. It's pretty wonderful that this young, blood purity-obsessed Death Eater was led to break out of the cult because he cared too much about his house-elf, someone he was raised to feel superior over. Neat!
—doctorlit, D.T.R.
I feel this is a perfect portrayal of how the Dursleys would be in this setting - Lily being alive would allow her to partially counteract the effects of Vernons prejudices, and so Petunia is a lot less awful than in canon. I've seen this kind of situation myself - I have not one but two aunts who basically got brainwashed by their husbands into sharing their exact views, to the point those two branches of my family got basically cut off from the rest.
It is nice to see Lily has somewhat managed to prevent that from happening to Petunia, who clearly is in that predicament in canon.
Given that this timeline's wizarding world is a bit more... fundamentalist religious dystopia with regency aesthetics, though, I wouldn't say Petunia is inaccurate with her assessment. In fact, helping Lily go into hiding in the Muggle world is helping Lily counteract the Purebloods' brainwashing of her. So maybe that help goes both ways, really! Sisters helping each other :P
But yes, that reconciliation with Petunia has helped lessen some of the Dursley's bullshit against Harry. There's still some animosity between Harry and Dudley, but at least this time Harry doesn't have to deal with the Dursleys very often, and can get into scrapes with Dudley without being severely punished for it.
Thanks for reading!