But France is in the same time zone as Italy... And here time isn't screwy at all. *gives a puzzled look at his alarm clock*

Besides, I feel slightly offended that you choose France instead of Italy.

[Insert lenghty rant here about how Italy is better than France fueled by the usual Italy-France antagonism. Please ignore it.]

. . . spies from the Department of Intelligence. They've been known to pull this stunt before! (http://www.freewebs.com/bonsaimallorn/YorkGath08.htm)

I like the narrative voice you had going in the second paragraph. It's hard to pin down except as "Funny! Do more of that!". I think it's the seriousness of the tone and your choice of idioms (I fear angering them) combined with the description of the pigeons as bigger than your fifteen-pound cat and that there are twenty of 'em on the window sill.

Au revoir!