I was going to wait to review more chapters at a time, but this post is getting close to the bottom, plus I’m petsitting this weekend, and I’m kind of limited on what I can get done, so I think I’ll just review this one alone.

It’s a very striking chapter, with Naomi really confronting the nature of what she is and the effect she has on reality. The “multiple choice” dialogue of her mother’s voice (I suppose a symptom of the mom being an undescribed off-screen role?) is especially unnerving and frightening. It reinforces how completely alone Naomi has made herself by writing herself into this universe. Hopefully, that will make her more receptive to teaming up with the agents, now that they’re meeting up at last . . .

—doctorlit, sympathizing with the Suvian, but I suspect that’s your intent, yeah?

Sorry I never posted on these before, thoughts were all over the place for a while but like, all the imagery and the feelings of tension and struggle and pushing through and whatnot is just so cool

It's a really unique POV and I'm interested in seeing how it all turns out!

Everything’s coming to a head! I love the paired imagery of chapters 12 and 13, with kaito seeming to finally accept the narrative nature of reality in 12, and Naomi realizing that she’s basically a plot slave herself. The imagery of the snowstorm and Naomi’s despair in 13 are especially powerful and affecting. I see Tanner is starting to get second thoughts about the assassination as well. We must be close to the finale now, yeah?

Typos:
A freezing wind blew through the open-air airport¹ . . .
This superscript has no follow-up.

This was a good use of Kaito’s time, which is precisely why said time he time from . . .
I think this sentence will read as intended if the bolded section above is replaced with “the”

I’ve seen that look before on some of uour benefactor’s servants.
“your”

Tanner said it like his gods had been killed.1
This superscript isn’t formatted as a superscript.

—doctorlit, sleepy

Since you asked about this specifically, I think this chapter has the best flow yet, keeping the action going strong without getting tripped up on huge descriptions. This helps the one scene that has a heavier description, Kaito petting Tanner, stand out better as the major moment of character growth and interaction that it is. Although, one thing that maybe needed a little more description would be an indication that the airplane had taken off? Nothing was mentioned about that, so I thought Kaito and Tanner were searching for the equipment while the plane was still on the rooftop, so it was jarring for me when the plane suddenly started falling!

Oh, Naomi is actively trying to escape from the narrative? We’ll see how successful she is!

I really like the scene where the ticket lady javelins the ladder and gets Tanner onto the plane! It feels exactly like the kind of unlikely throwaway gag the writers of The Simpsons would use to force the plot along, or resolve a problem quickly. It fits in with canon very well! I can picture in my mind, if this were an actual episode, how the camera would move from her getting hit on the head, over to her desk covered in photos and plaques of her Olympian career, then back to her hoisting the ladder and heaving it . . . sorry, went off on a mind’s eye tangent, there!

A couple lines have words cut out of them:
The as usually happened when he took a break, but he had to trust he was ready now.
Kaito yelled to a perfectly expected lack of results. He was

—doctorlit just wants to tell Naomi good luck, we’re all counting on her