... but have some cake anyway!

You do so, happily. Then you DISAPPEARIFY into the past a gift of Essence of Squee and a note that says:

When I became a man grew up I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.

- J. R. R. Tolkien

That quote is definitely attributed correctly. Yes sir. No misattributions here, that would be far too like the original comic!

She finds the Board a bit intimidating still, but she figures perpetually lurking isn't going to do anyone any good. She doesn't know anyone very well, and she's late in sending PitViperOfDoom her intentions that said Boarder has an awesome birthday.

Durppie couldn't care any less. Her fingers type out what she hopes to be an adequate response.

"Hi there! I hope you have (or had) a cool birthday. Sorry I'm late, by the way."

After she finishes her message, the newbie pauses for a second. What would be a nice gift for this person? A glance to the cake storage revealed none of the delicious dessert was left from when the Cake Thieves paid her a visit. Muttering curse words under her breath, Durppie frantically looks around for a present.

There.

The newbie walks over to her sword pile, which happens to be next to the sord...... pile and carefully takes out some swords. All are in fair condition. She checks to make sure they aren't too damaged, and accidentally sendificates her entire sord...... pile instead. Goshdarnit.

Durppie hopes PitViperOfDoom likes sord......s!

She checks the Board as she does fairly regularly and notices is has been PitViperOfDoom's birthday. She doesn't know where this person is in relation to both herself and the date line, so she sends birthday wishes and a virtual iced-sponge-cake along with apologies in case she was late. She also sends a virtual cake-storage-unit to keep all the various virtual cakes in, because there is no way somebody could eat that much cake at once.

She regrets being late to a fellow PPCer's birthday, and gives pumpkin cake.

Wait. What pumpkin? That's just normal cake.

He's not really familiar with Homestuck at all, and is rather sleepy and confused. However, he still wishes the young lady a happy birthday before lumbering off to bed.

Happy birthday, Pit Viper!
Happy birthday of doom!

After some thought, she offers up a triple chocolate (chocolate with chcolate chips and chocolate icing) cupcake.

Happy Birthday!

She is trying to resist the urge to actually get up. Going to the Board, she discovers that it is the birthday of a member she has always liked and held in esteem. Lacking a supply of online gifts, she immediately summons her instant solution as a birthday gift, after first swearing at her very irritating spellcheck that occasionally doesn't wait for her to finish the word. That done, she finds the gift she wants and posts it here...

...before wishing PitViperOfDoom a very happy birthday and relishing her use of the third person, which she does not often get to use.

She has several fanfiction projects lined up on her screen and an unholy number of tabs open for research and other things, but as soon as she visits the Board she notices this particular thread. She promptly removes her arms from her dresser to fetch the cake in her box on the bed, and jabs at her Remote Activator. Soon she has portalled it over the interwebs to PitViperOfDoom, wishing her a happy birthday.

And the Italian young man wants to say "Happy Birthday" to the young lady.

She is waiting for her episode of Doctor Who to load and, as is reflex, she checks the Board for any new interesting posts. She sees the post by PitViper and grins because it has given her an opportunity to eat digital cake and play Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Balrog. She also finds it necessary to point out that almost everyone on the Board is older than her, as she is only fifteen. She then gets over it because it's not really that big a deal and she should quit whining. She offers PitViper a large colorful cake and then shoves it in her face, as is tradition. She then runs away.

A young madwoman sits at her laptop, trying to figure out how to respond. She does not usually write in this style, so she gives up and goes back to her regular style.
Happy Birthday PitViper! I love birthdays, they give me chances to hand out cupcakes. Like this one! *pulls cupcake out of formerly empty top hat* Chocolate with chocolate frosting, chocolate sprinkles, and a molten chocolate center!

Happy birthday to you!

*brings out a large cake covered in edible glitter*

Squeeing out loud is a habit I've not yet managed to break, and I'm older than you. :P

He wishes he had a chair. He ponders what to post to the Board. He hits refresh.

He sees it is somebody's birthday.

He conjures up a digital cake (with electron filling and photon icing) and hands it over with great solemnity.

He wishes her a happy birthday.

He very seriously takes a plastic trumpet out of his pocket and blows into it.

Once.

He leaves the way he came.

(He is) hS