In lieu of their originally planned mission, or the new non-Sue-killing photographic mission I'm currently writing for them, I have for some reason decided that the first thing published for Tolin and Finola (besides being in my Permission request two whole years ago) will be their version of the home defense musket copypasta.

Warnings for destructive fire/explosives, aka blacklist item 9 (censored) and general violence (not censored).

Tolin owns a musket for home defense, since that’s what the Flowers intended.

Four Sues break into his response center.

“What in the blazes?” he says, grabbing his Brodie helmet and Baker rifle.

Tolin blows a golf ball-sized hole through the first Sue, and she’s dead on the spot. He draws his pistol on the second Sue, but misses her entirely because it’s smoothbore and nails the neighbors’ Roomba instead.

He has to resort to poking Finola, who is sleeping on the top bunk.

“Shpxva’ Sues,” she says, "> BL 9

Tolin affixes his bayonet and charges the last glittery rapscallion. She bleeds out waiting on the DIA to arrive, since HQ is impossible to navigate.

Just as the Flowers intended.

(Definitely not canon)