Subject: We managed to get shot of the Tories here, at least.
Posted on: 2024-07-06 10:54:17 UTC

With one of the greener members of the Labour Party to boot.

Our previous MP, Craig Mackinlay, was a hardcore "Leave Means Leave" Brexiteer and a proponent of austerity. He declined to run at this election, however, due to reasons of ill health. See, after definitely not cheating his way into office by not properly declaring electoral expenses (he was cleared of wrongdoing and a minor party member took the fall - I mean, er, was found to have been the guilty party), voting to remove funding for NHS services, and generally being an unrepentant Tory scumbag, he contracted sepsis. This meant both his hands and feet fell off, and since in his opinion the NHS prosthetics were, and I quote, "only good for breaking glass and hitting people", he had to spend over a hundred thousand pounds on custom prostheses. How dreadful. Couldn't have happened to a nicer man. What goes around definitely does not come around.

Anyway, the Tory vote got split almost down the middle by the fascists in Reform, so the Labour candidate got in with a majority of seven thousand. This overturned a Conservative majority of nearly eleven thousand at the previous election, though the district boundaries have since been changed.

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