Hey, a fellow newbie! We can be shiny together~!

The only fandom we have in common (provided neither of us have forgotten any accidentally, I know I did...) is My Little Pony, sooo...

I present you with a pegasister/brony jacket with fully functional wings. Don't ask why they are functional, the explanation will horrify you. -angelic smiling-

Well met, fellow Touhou fan! I can understand finding the Board intimidating, having taken a long time to sign up myself. I've also come across Oriental Transience of Scarlet Waning Moon - I could probably vaguely assist you in sporking it. Anyway, have an aerodynamic dodo - not very useful, but very friendly.

Welcome to the PPC!

Here, have a toolkit and a Basic Omnibus of Technical Issues and How Possibly to Fix Them. Knowing some of the tech around HQ, you might need it!

Good luck!

And ever since last November, every plover for newbies has come from Fluttershy.

Oh, and Fluttershy is best mane pony, Big Macintosh is best supporting pony, and Derpy Hooves is best background pony.

Welcome to the Board newbie, no need to be shy! We're all a little bit insane around here so it helps if you are too. To help you with that goal and any others that you might have, here's an abominable Eldritch. It's smaller than an Eldritch abomination but it's also less likely to eat you. It answers to the name of Ed and likes bacon and Sues for breakfast. Treat it well!

Have some cottage cheese!

Someone always brings this up and since no-one has so far, I supposed that means it is my turn.
The required reading as so far as you haven't already read it is:

The constitution. https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=18hztHpDehxcfrjaXoFUew1vb0BdZPDAusHxMHzHiCzM

How to get permission and what to do with it once you have. http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Permission For some reason it is not in the article, but we usually say, that after introducing yourself, you should wait at least an month to ask for permission. During that time you should hang out and be active, either here on in the IRC.

The original series. http://www.misssandman.com/PPC/story.html and as many other missions as you can.

Glad to have you here. Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. If it implodes, look directly at the implosion.

Good to see another Smasher here. Who do you main? I like to use Zelda and Link (bottom tier, go!).

Wow! Another newbie! I've always noticed that newbies seem to come in groups, even when they don't already know each other. Anyway, welcome to the PPC! Make sure to leave your sanity in the marked receptacle by the door. Your prize for making it this far is a propeller cap! It will take you wherever you need to go provided that it's not indoors.

Greetings, new friend! Have a Smash Ball! Just don't hit it too hard, we just reupholstered in here.

Do you do much fic-writing? If so, what kinds of stories do you tend to make?

Hello there, fellow shiny newbie! Since you like ponies, for you I have this baby pony, who is made of bronze. Polish 'em well.

And I too love all kinds of webcomics! Do you have any particular favourites? Mine are currently Weregeek and StupidFox - both are made of Awesome, at least in my opinion.

Hi, have some fudge!

And Homestuck. Ho-lee kids and fun, Homestuck. (Intermission 2, [S] Caliborn: Enter...) Any other fandoms of note? Discworld, LotR, and Harry Potter seem to be main ones for the PPC in general.

While I'm here, have some cotton candy. The 'fic I posted last night spontaneously generated it.

Hi! I am also pretty new here, but I hope to get permission soon.

For you newbie gift, have an object of your choice that can't rationally exist.