Sorry about the shop floor, it's a little messy at the moment but hey, it's home. As a welcome present, here's a copy of the latest issue of Scryer for Hire Magazine, our in-house ISR (Intelligence, Surveillance, and Reconaissance) periodical. In this year's issue, New Innovations in Crystal Scrying. Also, Remote Viewing and You: Psychic Powers and the (Im)Practical Agent.

Here, have some of my Schrodinger's Cookies (may or may not contain chocolate.) You really don't need to look far for badfic--just search the word 'alicorn' on the Pit.

In any case, welcome! And sporking is definitely not required for anyone here--just talk with us, make friends, and have fun! Though sporking things is sometimes a part of that last one.

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Isolate from hydrophilic substances.

Hi, have some fudge!

I remember being a lurker once... good times. Not really though because I barely knew what was going on and I was terrified that the Boarders were going to eat me. Not that they would; it's hard to eat someone over the internet.

Enough about me; how about you and your brand new action figures! There's so many things to talk about in that category, like how there are seventeen of them and each of them is a MLP pony with a star symbol thingy (what are they called?)and how they com in all different color combinations. Have fun!

I'm pretty sure that everyone else has already said everything that needs to be said, so I'll just go straight the the gift. You are now the proud owner of a wizard hat*! It is very sparkly and conveniently labled "Wizzard".
*Warning: this hat does not give you the ability to preform magic. Don't go jumping off of cilffs and expecting to levitate.

Hi! Have a... um... radioactive cat. That is walking down the street.

Greetings, new friend! Have a jockey horse! (This is a horse that rides jockeys.)

You definitely sound like you'd fit well in the Department of Intelligence!

Hmmm, let me see... *digs around in her bag of various useful things* ...ah! Have this spyglass - I can imagine they're very handy for investigators.

(No that wasn't a misspelling of ilk.)
You probably won't have to look very hard for badfic, but just in case you get lost or need to travel long distances, have a handy elk. Hardly bites at all.

If you're planning on digging through the depths of ff.net, have some handy spelunking gear! Also, some Bleeprin for when you just need to get some horrible image out of your head.

:)

~Puck

I'm Araeph, and I manage the Department of Technical Errors. My agents, Mara and Isaiah, would like to give you a complimentary red pen! *tosses*

Feel free to ask any questions you'd like...I've been around here a while, so I can fudge an answer if I need to. :) Nice to have you here!

To quote Professor Umbridge in Harry Potter (with much more sincerity), thank you, everyone, for those kind words of welcome. And also, thank you for your gifts, I doubt I'll be able to get far in the realm of badfic without using them. It's wonderful to see that everyone's so friendly on the PPC Board.

It's nice for more lurkers to join us! Leave your sanity at the door, though; you won't be needing it here.

I'm wondering, though, what are your fandoms? Can I assume by your name that you're part of the MLP fanbase?

Either way, here, have this link to one of my favourite songs!
(I ran out of Boxes of Infinity to give to the newbies)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pdw27j_usP0
It's We Could Be the Same, by maNga, otherwise known as Turkey's song from Eurovision 2010.

/Himu, your neighbourhood pirate\

The Constitution is, as others have said, an absolute must to read, and the other recommended piece is The Original Series by Jay and Acacia, so you can get an idea of where the whole idea began.

I hope you enjoy yourself here. Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. They're useful and fun! :D

Welcome to the PPC. I wish I could give you something normal but I don't have any of those, so have a broadsword that I found lying around on the ground.

I can take it that as a lurker you've read the Constitution as well, then, so I won't need to mention that the link is at the top of the Board.

Welcome! We can always use more Intel officers, whether those in the goodfic-badfic sorter room or those whose real-life writers send them in to describe in detail how awful a 'fic is. Have fun, here's a couple bottles of Bleeprin, use them sparingly.

Reading the Board's Constitution is a good idea (read: a must). Also, here, have a cup of tea. Just make sure the leaves won't eat you – they're omnivorous.