On Love and Tolerance

I know you're trying to help. I know there's a lot of tension, and you want it to go away and for all of us to just get along, and friendship and happiness and love and tolerance.

But triggers*, they exist, and when something like this happens, the best way to respond is not to go "I know this thing is specifically what triggers some of you, but look at the bright side!" Which is kinda what this amounts to. The best way to end this, generally, is to apologize, sincerely, and Let. It. Go.

Seriously. I've done this, in the past, after arguing or fighting with friends. You want things to go back to normal, but you also feel horribly guilty, so you desperately try to smooth things... like this. But this really doesn't help. Sometimes things smooth over with time, and sometimes they warp beyond repair and never heal. And that sucks - but either way, once you've apologized, you have to wait. Doing stuff like this, though it might help you feel better, doesn't help the people you're ostensibly apologizing to. So - please don't.

And, lastly - you are kinda preaching to the choir, here, in a big way. The people who will be causing problems by attacking and harassing QUILTBAG folks around here... are the people who are not going to read this, or are going to reply to it angrily no matter how much sense it makes. So by posting this stuff in the wake of a thread like that, you're sort of... just stirring things up. And sort of being a bit twisty with giving lip-service to Neshomeh asking the comment thread to calm down by replying to it up here. Just, generally - I hope with all my heart that this situation never arises again, but in the case that it does... don't do this. Please.

*What Trigger Warnings are, and Why they are Essential.