Subject: Sues
Author:
Posted on: 2012-07-17 05:09:00 UTC
“Additionally, you have a multitude of Sues that you are still writing,”
Please explain why my characters are Sues. This was not brought up last time I requested Permission.
I have now read your fic, "Call Me Katie". I'll be honest with you, if I had come across this fic in a random fic hunt, I would have sporked it. This is one of the most blatant Sues that I have seen in a long time. There is a lengthy Author's Note in the last chapter that says that you wrote most of this in 2010, and you think your writing has improved greatly since then. It makes it clear that this was posted May 31, 2012. No where in that note did you state that you had realized this was a huge Sue, and you were only leaving it up to show your progress, so I consider all decisions in this story as something you currently condone.
First charge: Katie is the uncanonical sister of the Main Character, Coraline.
Second Charge: This is not a new story. This is a rehash of the movie, only with Katie shoehorned in.
Third Charge: Katie steals multiple lines from Coraline and is the one that the doll imitates, until Coraline is only a very minor character in her own canon.
Fourth Charge: Katie's presence drums up drama for no apparent reason other than to make her more important in the story. (The mom's unspecified accident is now Katie's fault, and they spend half a scene arguing over it.)
Fifth Charge: In-line Author's Notes like this one, parenthesis yours. (A/N: this sentence makes me laugh and laugh).)
Sixth charge: Calling the mom by her name throughout (okay, that one might have just fallen under annoying a PPC agent)
Seventh charge: Mothering Coraline
Eighth charge: Changing the mythos of the canon to be able to add your Sue in. There was only one doll. Coraline said so. The doll changes to match the victim. There was no way for a second doll to appear just so you could have your Sue and Coraline enter the Other World.
This is from your Narnia story about Ailena, which is also not labeled as something you have come to regret.
Ailena has cobalt blue eyes, hip length blond hair, ten different names, and an entire paragraph longer than the one I am about to quote explaining how old she is.
Ailena is extremely good with many weapons, seems to turn up at unexpected times and in unexpected places, appears to know some things before they happen, and is particularly close to Aslan. She has been around since before the beginning of Narnia and remains there until the very end. She ages very, very slowly. She is High Queen of Narnia with the Pevensies during the Golden Age, and is never paired with anyone romantically. Never ever ever, through all the years of Narnia. She is also the one who tells C.S. Lewis the stories of Narnia.
Let's take this bit by bit.
Ailena is extremely good with many weapons One of the hallmarks of Sues are that they are good at everything, better than most, with very little effort. You say she's lived a very long time, so maybe she's practiced for thousands of years, but I honestly doubt it.
seems to turn up at unexpected times and in unexpected places, This is a Speshul trait.
appears to know some things before they happen Since this isn't available in canon, this is also a Speshul trait.
, and is particularly close to Aslan. So, she is a personal friend of the canon's deity? Do you see how this is a Sue-ish trait?
She has been around since before the beginning of Narnia and remains there until the very end. She was being shoehorned into a very select group of characters here.
She is High Queen of Narnia with the Pevensies during the Golden Age, and is never paired with anyone romantically. Never ever ever, through all the years of Narnia. This seems to be a recurring theme in your stories, where you retell the canon stories only your versions are better, because they include your characters, who are much better than the canons, and outshine the canons. That is, honestly, the very definition of a Mary Sue.
She is also the one who tells C.S. Lewis the stories of Narnia. This is just. Wow. This character is so important that she told the writer of her world about the world, so he wasn't really writing a story, he was just repeating back what your character told him. The time loop-fourth wall breakage thing here is actually painful. That is a pretty bold claim, and makes this character a huge, huge Mary Sue.
I understand from reading other bits on your LJ that this character is old. I have heard that it is fairly normal to go through a stage of creating Mary Sues (even I can remember back to doing that, I just didn't write them down), but the thing is that you are still writing this character and apparently don't see anything wrong with her. If you can't see anything wrong with this character, then you are not at a mature enough place to write for the PPC, and July was absolutely right in denying you Permission.