...You did a good job. Poor Gaspard, stuck in brain-breaking worlds... he needs a raise.

...Y'know, it's fics like this that make me wonder what the holy hell is *wrong* with some people! And did anyone else but me notice that one of the OCs that got killed has the same name as the author? ...Not sure what that says about them... Uh, anyway, if this is an intelligence report, does that mean the fic itself is up for grabs? 'Cause I'd like a crack at it... eventually...

This was really well-written. I'm not an MLP fan myself, but I know enough about the fandom (tons of Brony friends will do that to a person) to see where that fic went off the rails.

I hope the OCs you mentioned do get rescued and made into Agents. :D

~Mys

As someone who tried and horribly failed to spork Sweet Apple Massacre, I think you managed to take this grim-dark thing and point out what's wrong with it while being funny. That is pretty hard, lemme tell you.

And Gaspard... yes, Gaspard's personality is beginning to shine through. So everything is all fine and good.

So yeah. Good mission!

This is much improved from your older reports! Gaspard's personality and feelings come across much more strongly than they have in the past. His dialogue/narration helped bring me along through the badfic and the awful revelations it produces, rather than just responding to the badfic itself. (I like how you did this using very minimal badfic excerpts, too.) Gaspard's emotional change, from the initial denial of the fic's nature, to the final moment of shock at Orion's murder, also has an excellent progression as the report goes on.

I also like that your actual post above feels like something that slipped out of an HQ computer, fitting in with other recent events. I only just caught Gaspard's one-week leave below, which would have been some frightening foreshadowing if I had caught it in advance, considering how hard vacation time is to secure in the PPC.

Couple of issues. Early on, Gaspard describes the Rainbow Factory as a "factory-like building" quite a bit. This feels a little generic for me, since factories can be all kinds of different shapes and sizes. As it is, I'm imagining a Generic Factory, and I imagine even the badfic gave it more description than that.

Also, in the sentence, "Now there’s a speech being given to the crowd by the some of the factory officials to the traumatized crowd," you've got a "to the crowd" phrase in there twice.

Okay... first of all, I have no idea how that ended up here. It was supposed to go right to Intelligence. That's a severe security leak here. And I doubt anyone but me has discovered how to connect to this board from HQ.

Anyways, I congratulate you on dealing with this mess. I'm glad I wasn't there firsthand, and I think I'll do you a favor and reset your Bleeprin counter for the week. I respect your ability to stay focused on the task at hand, even when faced with things as terrible as this. You're analyzing the 'fic well, pointing out what is wrong with it even to those who're not familiar with this fandom. I could see your struggle to rescue these poor creatures, which is a good thing, since it shows that you're still human and relatively sane. I understand you wanted to go on a rampage, though.
With that said, heads up for the future.

Anonymous

PS: Don't even bother with trying to track me.

Why. Why why why why whyyyyy. -sob-

The second paragraph looks a bit long. I think it'd work better split around halfway through, at the sentence end in "[...]sandwich from underneath him. Gaspard sat down at the table[...]".

The rest of it's pretty good, I like how you kept in mind that the intelligence report was audio, made it obvious Gaspard was holding something in his mouth those couple of times, and got the sounds for such an occurence right. And when Gaspard got Dr. Atmosphere to go bash his head against a wall, ehehehe.

I think Replacement!Dash is a Sue creating all the grimdark. Offing her just might snap the Canon back into place...

Now, the obligatory reference...

Spectra is PEOPLE!!