Re: Denied. See my post in your introduction thread.

Permission by ThArcanist on 2012-05-29 00:18:00 UTC Reply

Ok. Here goes nothing.
I'd like to get permission for a team of three characters I have in mind; note that I am but a single man.

Requested Department: Technical Errors, Grammar Division.
It's worth taking into account that I have a thing for grammar, and (insert deity of your choice here) if you screw up too often around me.

Agents:

Melorama Rose: A recovering Suefic writer. Most stringent about grammar of the three, as well as the newest member; also the most hotheaded of the trio. She dislikes Jamie and Russell.

She is short(don't say it to her face), and is a blonde. She uses a hammer if she's angry, which is always.

Jamie Edwards: When not editing for his friends(No really, he has friends. They just live in Canada. Canada, I tell you! That's why you've never met them!) The most unfriendly and snarky of the three. He is also the unofficial leader of the group. He dislikes Melorama and Russell.

Tall, long red hair tied in a ponytail. His main weapon is a javelin.

Russell (No last name given): A solid writer and editor, tending to fix up structural mistakes more often than anything else(when he isn't asleep, the lazy b*****d). Most even and levelheaded, at least in comparison to the others. He just wishes Jamie and Melorama would shut up so he can get some shut-eye.

He has dark brown hair and is around average height. He uses a sword as a weapon, when he needs to fight.

Fic I want to spork:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7630656/1/doyouremember

Where you can learn that my writing doesnt suck:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/27974/1/A-Fistful-of-Bits/The-Man-in-the-Cape
I know it's on an My Little Pony fanfic website, but there is no obvious mlp stuff on that particular story. Fear not!

Well... that's it, I guess. Reply and tell me what needs changing, i'll probably start an FF account as soon as this is approved. I hope I didn't screw up too badly.

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Denied. See my post in your introduction thread. (nm) by JulyFlame on 2012-05-29 00:25:00 UTC Reply

Re: Denied. See my post in your introduction thread. by ThArcanist on 2012-05-29 14:01:00 UTC Reply

Other than the problems with SPaG, and possibly not following the guidelines, is there any problem with the characterization, or anything that isn't a technical error so much as bad writing?

Well... by VixenMage on 2012-05-29 14:30:00 UTC Reply

Honestly, the fact that you are brushing off SPaG is really quite worrisome, especially since you want to write for Department of Technical Errors. Nobody's perfect, to err is human, etc, but that's what a beta is for. (And, for the record? Bad writing definitely includes technical errors.)

I'm less concerned about the fact that you have some issues with grammar and spelling, and more concerned about saying things like "Pray to your deity of choice if you screw up too often around me." That's a bit of dark humor and not much else, if you had excellent grammar yourself - but most of your posts seem to be missing apostrophes and some capitals, and your fic wasn't entirely clean, so it comes off less as humorous and more as a bit hypocritical. I'm trying to be clear here, so please let me know if this is coming off as vague or convoluted.

Your agents don't have any outstanding errors that I could see, but just glancing over your writing sample, I have to say the prose is a bit clunky. It's nothing I would turn down permission for, alone - if you'd been here a while, your agents were just a bit more fleshed out, and you posted this writing sample, I'd probably tack on the above Very Careful Warning to make sure you weren't being hypocritical with your missions, and then give you the go ahead. But it does look like you could use a beta on this piece, just for flow and the like. If you want more specific advice, I'm often on the IRC in the evenings (EST, GMT-5), which is the best way to contact me for beta-ing sort of stuff.

Please note that neither July's post nor mine should be taken as a Final and Forever Denial. You are entirely welcome to try again, taking advice given into account and so on, and so forth. I hope to continue to see you around the 'Board!

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Thanks by ThArcanist on 2012-05-29 15:07:00 UTC Reply

I didn't intend to brush off SPaG, it's just, I suppose, that that fic I used as an example was not my best writing. I expected it to suck, I didn't know the genre, I did little editing, ect.

And I won't be going after people who screw up just as often or even much more often than me, I'll be going after people who are as bad as the people in the fic I wanted to spork. Thank you for pointing out the specific things I did badly, because I couldn't tell myself.

Obviously, I am going to do work on my characters, give them more personality, ect., that was just an initial thing, not to be taken too seriously. And even once it is accepted, however long that may be, I'm going to still be looking around on PPC Wiki for anything that can help me, such as better knowledge of gadgets, so on and so forth. I really want to get permission for this, and I'll keep trying until I do.

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