Subject: WtG XV: A Stream of Suefluence
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Posted on: 2012-05-01 23:17:00 UTC

The Sue's eating. Juicy sausage and golden eggs... it smells so good and my stomach's growling. I wonder if I could steal some of them. No, Cris would kill me. Better not. Then again, Cris would kill me for a lot of things. Like killing the Sue RIGHT now, without charging her. Oh, gosh, that would be so worth it. Dumb little pointy-eared bint thinks she's an elf, let's show her real elf arrows, shall we? I got these off a LOTR Sue, Mordwenna or Mackenna, something like that. They're Sue Arrows, meaning they've got peacock arrows for fletching and they're always sharp, and frak, I can just IMAGINE little pointy-eared bint with two or three of these sticking out of her, that would be so worth it-
Sue's got my attention again. She's wearing BURGUNDY with a GREEN rosette. How tacky can you get? Even in my home continuum, no one would have put up with that sort of poor fashion choice, and my home continuum is Star Wars, for pete's sake, everyone had terrible bowl haircuts. Though Han Solo managed to pull it off. He was a cool guy. I wish I could have gotten to know him. Ah, well, no mucking about with the Plot Continuum...
I never did get to ride in the Falcon. Maybe someday there'll be a Han-luster who'll write a fic on the Falcon. Then I can go there. Though I'm getting really sick of Sues... when all this is over, I'm going to ask for a transfer. Implausible Crossovers would be nice, there'd be less Sues... or Bad Slash, maybe... no... I couldn't handle the smut, it'd give me hives. I never did like it, anyway. Or maybe Floaters. I dunno. Sues are getting kind of monotonous, they're all the same. At least you don't get too many Darth Bane Sues, most Suethors don't even know who he is.
Uh-oh, Sue's a-moving. Time to go.

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