And also the free presents- like this one! *presents you with an orange*

Have some Swiss Chocolate. Oh, and here's a bottle of Bleepka. You're gonna need it.

Here's 4GB of Write-Only Memory!

Welcome to the board! Have a generic welcome gift!

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this waterproof wide-brimmed fedora as a welcoming present.

Frostbiter, huh? I'll give you an ice sword as a welcome gift, then. Makes sense, right? XD

Welcome! Have some fudge!

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate. and enjoy your stay!

First up, I suggest that you don't post PPC stories to the Pit. They get banned quite a bit.
Secondly, I commend you for staying strong in the face of My Immortal. I went sort of insane. *eyetwitch*
Thirdly, welcome, welcome! I shall give you this handy bottle of Bleeprin and these chocolate-chip cookies.
Fourthly, what are your fandoms?

As Mr. McClain says, "Welcome to the party pal!" Here, have a bottle of anti-lustin and a unsent Valentines day card.

Have an ... um ... half-empty carton of milk and some licorice root. It would seem I need to refill my random-gifts closet.

As for what you should do, you can start with checking out the links Mr. Eldritch gave you.
After that, as the Chesire Cat would probably have said to you if you were Alice, what you should do depends on what you want to do.
If you want to write missions, then the links explains what you have do. I would also recommend reading the rest of Jay and Acacia's missions along with a lot of spin-offs to get to know the PPC canon.
If you want to make your first fanfic a goodfic, we have beta readers, who can help you out. http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/PPCBetaReader_Directory
If you just want to hang out and be more or less silly, that is also welcommed. You don't have to write missions to be a PPC'er; simply being a boarder makes you one. You can support the effort by reporting badfics that need to be sporked (if there is an existing badfic-thread on the frontpage, please use that rather than starting a new) and/or by helping others improve their missions and fanfics.

But for starters, just come on in and get to know us.

Thanks for all of the gifts and advice!
Normally I lurk around the Harry Potter and Hunger Games fandoms. I'll occasionally venture out into other fandoms like Percy Jackson and Lord of the Rings. I'm currently trying to finish my first fic (in the Hunger Games fandom).

Have a Frying Pan of Doom and a Almost-Infinite Bag of Holding. Just watch out for the Nifflers that may move in if you have too much stuff.

Greetings, new friend! Have some notched icicles, good for fitting in any standard bow!

It's great to have a newbie here! :D

Just out of curiosity, what are your fandoms? We always like to know what fandoms other people are into just as a matter of course, ya know?

Anyway, have some Stravinsky for the road: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IDyrJnKkpI

Hi! Welcome to the Board! Have a 100% fat-sugar-calcium-gravel-carbohydrates-pigeon-feathers-vitamin free box of muffins! Eating under ridiculously specific circumstances, for the purpose of.

...please put your sanity in the Aperture Science Emergency Sanity Disposal Unit we've recently set up in the corner.

Have a bottle of my world-famous hydrophobic water! Now with 23% more quantum-proofing!

Oh, and what are your fandoms?

Alright. Joining the PPC is a really simple process!

First, check out the wiki: http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/PPCWiki

There's resources for newbies right on the front page.

Second, introduce yourself, maybe tell us what canons you're into, and receive imaginary showers of virtual gifts, salutations, and silly messages.

Third, hang around for a month or so until we more or less get to know you, follow the Permission guidelines (also on the Wiki), and you're good to go.

Here's a few resources:

<a href="http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/PPCBoardConstitution">http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/PPCBoardConstitution
<a href="http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/GuidetothePPC">http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/GuidetothePPC
<a href="http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/FAQ:ForNewbies">http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/FAQ:ForNewbies
<a href="http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/MissionWritingGuide">http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/MissionWriting_Guide

That's basically it! We're really informal here.

Also, hi! Have a PPG and some Bleepolate-covered coffee beans.