Subject: Working the PPC into my English class
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Posted on: 2012-02-01 03:43:00 UTC
I had to write a 200+ word sentence for English class, and I thought perhaps since I mention the Ironic Overpowers you guys might be interested in reading it (and admittedly I do have the ulterior motive of learning more about the I O because I'm not quite sure if I understand them). Here it is:
*In the trope-riddled multiverse of the PPC, the Ironic Overpowers are a real force; for example, quite often, some poor, bewildered agent lost in the labyrinthine halls of the Flowers’ bureaucracy will say, loudly and obviously: “I really hope I don’t stumble into my partner who has conveniently went out on a walk with an Ariadne-like string marking the way home to our Response Center, yes, I truly, desperately hope that doesn’t happen” and then will watch with satisfaction as their partner, a bit weary or perhaps irritated with them (as partners are nearly always irritated at something), rounds the nearest conveniently placed corner with a ball of string in their hand, wondering dourly why they decided to set out in the first place; however, we must not for a moment assume that because they can be manipulated to be useful that the Ironic Overpowers are indeed a benevolent force; on the contrary, they’re known to be quite annoyingly malicious, like a cousin who re-gifts one’s present to oneself knowingly or perhaps a sibling who tells you to fetch something which is closer to them than to you just because they can or the English teachers who insist that the I comes before the E when we can all see that the teachers (and the dictionary, and the other dictionary, and the thesaurus, and google search) are clearly wrong; no, indeed, the Ironic Overpowers can take any statement out of your mouth and twist it to their advantage (whatever that is) in the most horrifying ways—imagine, for instance, that you have just come back from a truly arduous mission in which you had to trek for several swampy miles in order to keep up with your supernatural target before you assassinated it; imagine that you are covered in muck from your toes to the roots of your hair; imagine that perhaps your target preyed on your partner’s favorite character and as a result he or she harps mercilessly on every typo in your charge list in the throes of deep depression; even in this harrowing case, the Ironic Overpowers are quite willing, nay, happy to take your groan of “Ye gods, I’m really looking forward to a shower” and viciously subvert it with their incomprehensible might to make your console go BEEEEEEEP and send you off on yet another mission to the Sahara without even a pause for breath or perhaps a soldier’s bath of a bucket of water dumped over the head; therefore, when walking in the PPC Headquarters, do be careful about everything you say and do, since not only do the Ironic Overpowers love to prey on your statements made in times of hope and joy but they are also willing to use the statements made in times of deep, dark, terrible despair, especially the ones that begin with such phrases as “Surely it can’t get any (insert adjective here) than this”, “At least he didn’t (insert verb here)”, and/or “This has to be the worst (insert noun here) of my life”, and as such, you must always respect the Ironic Overpowers even when not in the multiverse, as they reside in our universe of monotheists, atheists and polytheists with only partially decreased power and the fatally deceptively innocuous name of “Instant Karma”; consequently, do not scoff at my tales of woe, thinking that they have nothing to do with you, but rather, as a acolyte of great understanding and worth, take my warning to heart and do not abuse the existence of the Ironic Overpowers or speak lightly of them, as their power is far-reaching and their malevolence immense, and if you do so they may choose to do something bad to you, like override your automatic reluctance to ramble and loose your inner writer, which, of course, is rather like an untrained puppy that wants nothing more than to run around in circles, claw up your lovely new upholstery and perhaps widdle on the carpet, thus spoiling your merit as a writer in the eyes of your teachers, fellow students, and whatever additional poor blokes try to read your writing and understand it.