Nerd rant ahoy!

Two MIB crossovers. by Neshomeh on 2012-01-06 20:37:00 UTC Reply

I don't usually go looking for fic myself anymore, but I got to editing the Men In Black page on the wiki today, and was inspired. I figure the MIB-verse is ripe for sci-fi crossovers, so I thought I'd check it out and see if there was anything interesting.

Well, there is. Mostly the usual uninspired dross, including a really weird MIBxInuyasha crossover that disappointingly just quotes the first MIB movie for the most part, but I did find one especially good fic and one especially bad fic.

The good:

"Watchmen in Black" by Beth Einspanier
The result of an idle mind, too much caffeine, and an overall feeling of "What would happen if..." Agents J and L of the MiB hunt a shapeshifting alien in Ankh-Morpork, and enlist the help of the Watch. Naturally, things don't go smoothly. Revised!
Crossover - Men In Black & Discworld - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,660 - Reviews: 31 - Updated: 11-18-09 - Published: 2-3-02 - Complete

I haven't read much of this yet, but the first actual chapter is genuinely funny, and both the agents and watchmen are believably thrown off by each other. I'm looking forward to the rest of it.

The bad:

"Bella In Black" by NYKIDDO
Bella is one of the only girls in the MIB. Except the MIB doesn't just hide aliens from the world, it also hides vampires. What happends when Bella falls in love with a vimpire she's suppose to be hiding?
Crossover - Men In Black & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 6,634 - Reviews: 82 - Updated: 7-29-10 - Published: 1-4-10 - Complete

This, I'm thinking of claiming. It's incredibly pointless (Bella and Edward hook up, not big surprise) and mangles both canons along the way. I don't mind so much about Twilight, but the fact that "B" actually gets CONGRATULATED for breaking every single MIB rule she can—and that's the bulk of the "plot"—makes it particularly pernicious to the MIB-verse. Also, there is this line in Chapter 8: "She pulled out the 'flashy thingy' and hit the button. 'We were never here,' she said, 'You've been watching TV and drinking a bear ever since the cops left.'" Emphasis mine. {X D

That said, I'm not all that familiar with Twilight and I'm not sure I want to subject Nume to more of it after the HP crossover Phobos and I are working on, so if anyone else wants it badly, feel free to shout out.

And, of course, if you've got more fic to point out, please post in a reply here so we don't get too many new fic threads. Thanks!

~Neshomeh

Nerd rant ahoy! by Mister Shoebox on 2012-01-13 18:57:00 UTC Reply

The good fic - she is funny and awesome! Discworld and MIB forever!

As for the bad fic...(Incoming total dorkage/rant, be warned) The Aircel (later Malibu) comic series that the film/cartoon was based on DID have vampires, werewolves, mummies, and invisible people.

The point of the MIB, at least in THAT series, wasn't just to isolate and contain aliens, it was to exploit the mysterious and spooky for their own ends, which they did until the mini-series ended.

Now maybe, JUST maybe, the author knew about the comic and wanted to make an Original universe fic. Fair enough...

but the PROBLEM is that most of the vampires in that comic were homicidal maniacs...NOT EDWARD BLOODY (pun intended) CULLEN! And Bella? She wouldn't just be neuralyzed for her actions. She'd be finished. Finito. Ended. In a word, DEAD. (Dorkage over.)

What makes this worse is that it's set in MOVIE MIB. Vampires AREN'T their dept. (rant over.)

Fic, y u incite nerdism?
Bella in Black? by Aile Harper on 2012-01-07 00:09:00 UTC Reply

Seriously?! Men in Black meets sparkling disco balls that passes off as vampires and girls with no common knowledge about love, vampires, and common sense? Big NO!

And to make this badfic worse, it's being supported by foolish people who make stupid reviews about it. The fic's bad enough that it might as well ruin my Grey Matter. Elimine forsaken Twilight fantards should have at least done some research about MIB to make it a goodfic... wait, they wouldn't do that since they're FANTARDS who's mind runs on hormone-induced glee and too busy glorifying the Twilight fandom by crossing it with a world where a secret xenos embassy is protecting the world from the space alien monsters and galactic criminals.

Damnation, why do many Twilight fanfic writers do this? Disrespecting the other fandoms they have little to no knowledge about it by including them in their crossovers, mucking it up, and breaking every rules and bending it to their own joy of seeing and reading Bella and Edward sogging each other and confessing their "twu wub" to each other while an intergalactic crisis is spiraling out of control. *gasping for breath*

I'll be more than happy to see this fic sporked.

Dude. Seriously. by Neshomeh on 2012-01-07 02:36:00 UTC Reply

Sooner or later, we're going to run out of patience with telling you to calm down and stop insulting people every time a badfic thread comes up. Knock it off.

~Neshomeh

Drinking a BEAR?? by Charlie Dodo on 2012-01-06 22:19:00 UTC Reply

Of the two images that brings to my mind, one is rather odd and the other has entirely to do with the bear of a man I used to live with and is NSFW

The internet's bear consumption.(MS Paint gore, slight nsfw) by Aster Corbett on 2012-01-07 00:22:00 UTC Reply

{X D by Neshomeh on 2012-01-07 02:41:00 UTC Reply

But also D =} for this apparently being a typo that has happened more than once.

Also, that poor bear.

D =}

( But really, I laughed. ^_^ )

~Neshomeh
Wut? (nm) by Fish Custard on 2012-01-07 00:28:00 UTC Reply

Oooh. by Ellipsis Flood on 2012-01-06 22:40:00 UTC Reply

...wait, what? No. I don't get it. I don't think I want to get it.

But yeah, that line is just awesome.

Ooooh! by Caddy-Shack on 2012-01-06 22:18:00 UTC Reply

I happen to know quite a lot about Twilight (former fan...) so that actually sounds kinda funny. Also, I am curious as to how the MIB could hide Twipires... Anyway, I also know the canon of the MIB movies, and a bit of the cartoon series, but I am not sure if it is enough.

So... anyone interested in a possible co-write? (Yes, even you Nesh :P)

Say... by Neshomeh on 2012-01-07 02:32:00 UTC Reply

It occurs to me that there's a fairly serious feminist issue with this story, given that in the first chapter (the "prologue") Bella complains about how the name "Men in Black" is sexist, and then she goes on to have a storyline hinging entirely on screwing the system to get into some guy's pants. Is that something your lot would take issue with?

Ilraen might, but first someone would have to explain the context, and Nume's no good for that sort of thing. {= P 'Course, as I recall, Andalite society isn't all peaches and cream when it comes to gender equality, either, so he'd put it into context pretty quick.

Anyway, just a thought I had. Another one was this: Isn't the MIB supposed to be protecting the normal people from the weird stuff, not the other way around? O.o

~Neshomeh

Hmm. by Caddy-Shack on 2012-01-07 04:48:00 UTC Reply

Well, I could probably do something with it, as I assume Maria would be fairly annoyed by it. I would probably get some help, either from a co-writer or someone in the IRC (Or Board) on not mucking up anything with it, but it seems like a good idea.
It was... by Aile Harper on 2012-01-07 04:27:00 UTC Reply

Until the Twilight elements override many of the canon elements of MIB.