Such a pure soul. It's meat must be delicious.

Subject: Such a pure soul. It's meat must be delicious.
Author: darklordaakmal
Posted on: 2013-05-30 15:23:00 UTC

*Ahem, ahem*

Greetings, new one. Be comfortable with this humble forum for a few months, get used to the idiosyncracies of missions, then should you consider being an agent.

Allow me to rummage through my virtual Troll Hoard to look for your gift. Ahha! An old virtual wakizashi, said to be virtually wielded by the black samurai, Yasuke himself. You can have this sword, I prefer to wield virtual Grond, if I could lift it, that is.

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/new member/ please don't eat me! by Hanako-san on 2013-05-30 10:29:00 UTC Reply

Um... hi? *awkward wave*

I got led here from the PPC wiki, and I have been interested in joining since I read OFUM, OFUATLA, and the Original Series.

You can call me Hana. I'm 15 years old, and I like a lot of books, anime, and manga. You could say that I have dabbled in a lot of fandoms, but have not fully dipped yet into the teacups. I know just enough to wince at bad characterization, plot and Mary Sues.

Most of the fics I have written are for Naruto, but I would like to expand my horizons or something like that.

I would love to help exterminate bad-fics and 'Sues. If you have any questions, please, do ask.

Hello there! by Outhra on 2013-06-02 03:52:00 UTC Reply

Well, it looks like I'm late to the introduction, but possibly this means all of the we-are-going-to-eat-you jokes are dying down. Because the last time I checked, you can't eat people over the Internet.

You can't, right?

Well, just in case, take this miniature defense robot. If anything starts crawling out of the Internet, you need a first line of defense that can re-attach its arms and legs, yet still remain small and discreet enough to surprise opponents. The little laser cannons are an added bonus!
Welcome, newbie! by son_of_heaven176 on 2013-06-01 17:42:00 UTC Reply

I see that we share at least one fandom (Narnia). Welcome, and I hope you enjoy it here!

Now as for your newbie gift...
*rummages through Pokemon-trainer-issue bag of holding*
Here we are!
Have a lv. 19 Magikarp and a Rare Candy! You can tell any hungry Boarders that it is a lot more tasty than a newbie! *heh heh*
My stomach's growling. by Lily Winterwood on 2013-05-31 18:31:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the Board, of course, and have some lemming repellent!
Hey-o. by SeaTurtle on 2013-05-31 02:33:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Useful for scaring away hungry Boarders! Refills are 10$ each.

Re: Hey-o. by Hanako-san on 2013-05-31 06:14:00 UTC Reply

Thank you. I'll come back to refill it. :)

Snack! by Bausiren on 2013-05-30 22:40:00 UTC Reply

Yum, a newbie! Ah..no, sorry. *clears throat* Welcome! Have a shiny thing!
Mmm... I am kind of hungry. by Lynne Lloyd on 2013-05-30 20:39:00 UTC Reply

Does anybody have a good recipe for newbie stew?
I mean -- what? *looks around* Welcome a-Board! *laughs nervously*
I found the PPC via OFUM as well. Ah, the internet. The things we discover every day!
Please have this big poofy rainbow hat. It has sequins and pom-poms on it. I honestly don't know what one would use it for, though, so I hope it serves you well!

*waves* by Ailavyn Siniyash on 2013-05-31 23:57:00 UTC Reply

Well, I didn't get eaten when I joined, so I think you're safe. We share some book fandoms, it seems.

Oh, right, present. Here, have an Infinite Notebook, lined, with urple covers and wilver binding. Beware your eyes!

-Aila

Oh, oops, I put that in the wrong place. (nm) by Ailavyn Siniyash on 2013-05-31 23:58:00 UTC Reply

Carrots, potatoes, and a pinch of salt. by Ugolino on 2013-05-31 12:19:00 UTC Reply

Let simmer for two hours and serve with a Generic side dish. Serves up to four.
Re: Mmm... I am kind of hungry. by Hanako-san on 2013-05-31 06:11:00 UTC Reply

N-newbie stew?

Thank you, I can think of a my own uses for this hat. It's really nice. :)

You read OFUA:TLA? by Karen on 2013-05-30 19:55:00 UTC Reply

*hugs* You dear person, you. Have a cookie.

Re: You read OFUA:TLA? by Hanako-san on 2013-05-31 11:59:00 UTC Reply

Thank you.

OFUA:TLA was my favorite OFU along with OFUM, and I really loved all the little bits and pieces that make it up. :)

There's more! by Karen on 2013-05-31 20:25:00 UTC Reply

A new chapter! Anj and I finally got it out.

Hey, I remember that OFU! by Lynne Lloyd on 2013-05-30 20:46:00 UTC Reply

I read it a few months ago during my massive OFU/PPC story marathon. Hours scrolling on my laptop. (It was all worth it.)
I really enjoyed Aang Took, the airbending hobbit. There were so many cookies, too...

It just got a new chapter! by Karen on 2013-05-31 20:24:00 UTC Reply

My beta's having a hard time of life, so our updates ain't too frequent...

Welcome to the Board! by AelinTheAmazing on 2013-05-30 19:20:00 UTC Reply

I don't know much about Naruto, but we do share Harry Potter and Narnia. I'm willing to learn, though!

And, for a newbie gift... *dives into piles of random objects on metaphysical floor* Ah! Have a toaster! This is not just any ordinary toaster, though; it's patterned with kaleidoscope polka-dots in constantly-changing Sue-colors. Plus, it shoots pastries at high velocity!

Re: Welcome to the Board! by Hanako-san on 2013-05-31 06:07:00 UTC Reply

Thank you. :)

Ooh- shiny newbie! by Legacy on 2013-05-30 16:33:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the PPC Board, shiny one! (Yeah, I'm one to talk. I just showed up here a month ago. I'm still pretty shiny, aren't I?)

But anyways, Naruto and Percy Jackson! Excellent randoms, there. And OFUA:TLA- now there's a fun example of a Fanfiction Academy!

How do you feel about Studio Ghibli? (One of my favorite questions to ask...)

On another note, have a fluffy velociraptor. Welcome, and have fun!

Boonzayah!

Re: Ooh- shiny newbie! by Hanako-san on 2013-05-31 05:44:00 UTC Reply

Studio Ghibli? Other people say I'm childish for liking it, but I -like- being childish - when it doesn't hurt others. It reminds me of childhood, and some of its movies are like waking dreams to watch. :)

My favorites are Spirited Away and Howl's Moving Castle, and maybe Ponyo.

Hewwo~ Nice to meet you! by Nue Houjuu on 2013-05-30 15:59:00 UTC Reply

So a question, a question! What's your favorite series? Be it book, anime or manga?

Oh, and before I forget. Here! One Sharp Object of your choice. Be careful with it, now! n_n

Re: Hewwo~ Nice to meet you! by Hanako-san on 2013-05-31 05:40:00 UTC Reply

It's hard to say I have one, only one, favorite series. I have a lot of favorites, but from books I like Harry Potter the most, and my favorite anime/manga is Naruto.

Thank you!

Well, I did not have breakfast... by DemonFiren on 2013-05-30 15:36:00 UTC Reply

...but I suppose we new guys have to stick together. Oh, fine.
Such a pure soul. It's meat must be delicious. by darklordaakmal on 2013-05-30 15:23:00 UTC Reply

*Ahem, ahem*

Greetings, new one. Be comfortable with this humble forum for a few months, get used to the idiosyncracies of missions, then should you consider being an agent.

Allow me to rummage through my virtual Troll Hoard to look for your gift. Ahha! An old virtual wakizashi, said to be virtually wielded by the black samurai, Yasuke himself. You can have this sword, I prefer to wield virtual Grond, if I could lift it, that is.

Re: Such a pure soul. It's meat must be delicious. by Hanako-san on 2013-05-31 05:36:00 UTC Reply

Thank you, this is my first sword. I'll take care of it! :)

Good to have you a-Board! by doctorlit on 2013-05-30 14:08:00 UTC Reply

Greetings, new friend! Have an unwritten novel!

Re: Good to have you a-Board! by Hanako-san on 2013-05-30 14:31:00 UTC Reply

Thank you. :)

First plover! (nm) by Tawaki on 2013-05-30 13:29:00 UTC Reply

Re: First plover! by Hanako-san on 2013-05-30 14:01:00 UTC Reply

Thank you! It's cute. :)

*bounces over and hugs* Hi! by Cassie on 2013-05-30 10:41:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the Board, where we don't eat people ~~except on very special occasions~~. Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

Hm, what are your favourite books etc.?

Re: by Hanako-san on 2013-05-30 11:00:00 UTC Reply

*hugs back*

Thank you!

I like Harry Potter, Narnia, Good Omens, Memoirs of a Geisha, Jane Austen, Percy Jackson, and a lot others, but the gist is I don't really like a lot of the modern young adult books. Most follow in the mold of Twilight, and it's just both boring and nauseating to read...

*embarrassed that my twelve-year old self actually liked it, but thankfully I grew out of that phase*

A classmate of mine told me the Mortal Instruments was nice, but there's something weird about it even on the covers. I don't know if it's because I read about Cassandra Clare on the wiki...

Ooh, good fandoms! by hermione of vulcan on 2013-05-30 12:43:00 UTC Reply

Not that all fandoms aren't good, but I happen to share some of these: Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Good Omens, and Jane Austen. (Well, actually, I've only read Pride and Prejudice and Northanger Abbey, but still, I like them.) Most definitely HP - see my username - and Percy Jackson, though.

Newbie gift…here, have this Pygmy Puff. It's totally not a tribble I spray painted purple. (I'm a hardcore Star Trek fan…)

Re: Ooh, good fandoms! by Hanako-san on 2013-05-30 12:53:00 UTC Reply

Ooh, it's cute! *holds on to gift* Thank you. I'm new to Star Trek, mostly having heard of it due to Kirk/Spock on TvTropes, and because a certain close friend of mine, a Star Wars fanboy, keeps on trying to steer me away from it.

I liked the new movie, though I was initially at the theater because my brother dragged me. Probably my Cumberbatch-lusting influencing me, but I genuinely like the concepts and the Kirk/Spock friendship. :)

Welcome! by Desdendelle on 2013-05-30 12:13:00 UTC Reply

Ooh, another Good Omens fan. Nice to meet you. Anyway...
You should read The Constitution. The Wiki and TOS you already know of, but let me mention the IRC channel, where people sometimes hang out. Sometimes there's even serious discussion happening there.
Also, last but not least, have this cup of tea. Just be mindful of the leaves, they'll eat you if you won't be careful.

Re: Welcome! by Hanako-san on 2013-05-30 12:42:00 UTC Reply

I've read it. I'll make a user account at Wikia to sign. :)

Good Omens was first introduced to me by a friend, and I got hooked after the first few pages. Crowley and Aziraphale are both so funny and refreshing to read.

Thanks! *sips tea carefully* Where did you find this unique specimen of tea leaves, though?

Well... by Desdendelle on 2013-05-30 20:03:00 UTC Reply

Well, said tea, aptly named Camellia Sinsesis Carnivorae, comes from agent!Desdendelle's home universe, which is an alternate World One. Aside from the tea, people are trained with melee weapons. And the IDF's food is even worse.
The tea made from it is especially bitter, which earned it the moniker 'Stygian Tea'. Bleeptea is made from a mixture of liquid Bleeprin and Stygian Tea.

Why does everyone think we're going to eat them? by Ugolino on 2013-05-30 10:33:00 UTC Reply

Hi, welcome, and have an urple fountain pen as a welcoming gift!

Re: Why does everyone think we're going to eat them? by Hanako-san on 2013-05-30 10:57:00 UTC Reply

Sometimes you all just give that impression. :)

Thank you! Now I can write in my journal without the fear of others trying to read it, with the urple ink...

A good point, but how do you plan to read it yourself? by DawnFire on 2013-05-31 14:00:00 UTC Reply

...I feel like this 'please don't eat me' thing may be my fault, at least recently. I was silly enough to bring up the unrecorded instances of newbies being eaten with ketchup--who said that?

Hm. Must be the work of that infamous Hogwarts jaguar.

Anyway, hi, and welcome to the Board! (I may as well do this all in one post...) It's quite nice to meet you; I seem to remember us sharing fandoms (see how lazy I am when I had to walk half an hour through sauna-like heat to reach my bus, and then spent another half-hour or so recovering? I can't even be bothered to ...

Sorry, lost the thread of what I was saying. I just saw the Old City of Jerusalem out the window, and, well, bye-bye thoughts. Oh, there they are. Welcome Gifts, right? Those are good things.

I gift you with several bars of Swiss Bleepolate (I get the feeling you might want them at some point), and some Mystery Gummyblees. They're the kind that choose a shape based on the first fandom you name or reference while they're listening. Choose well!

Welcome :) We're glad to have you. And no one's going to eat anyone else--blistering barnacles, Dean Winchester, get out of my brain already! You just won't quit, will you?

Sorry. He's been wandering around in there for a while. Yesterday he decided to bring Sam and Castiel in as well, and...it got a little crazy. You should actually be seeing the results of that sooner or later--I was talking with Karen at the time, and, well, there was an idea. It's going to be fun.

~DF