So here they are, after a bit of revising. Obviously not looking for permission yet, but opinions would be nice :D
Agent Naiton:
Agent Name: Naiton nepos Enfret
Gender: Male
Race: Vampire
Original Continuum: A One-shot MST I did of an old story of mine.
Object of Lust: Thuringwethil (Well, that's what he's telling me...could be lying.)
Tell us about yourself: Basically, The Director hates me. Yep. That's how I ended up here. Oh...what's that? Haven't properly introduced myself yet? *tips hat* Agent Naiton nepos Enfret at your service. Former AEIMS agent, currently working for the PPC.
*sighs, rolls eyes* If you don't mind, would you please stop staring at the tattoos? Yes they cover my entire body. Long story short I'm a Pict, so yes, that explains the accent as well. *flashes fangs* Nice, huh? Was a Glaisting what did me in. Not really something I talk 'bout though. Don't look at me like that! You wouldn't either if you got the reactions I did every-time you tell the story! Good Lord, you sleep with one blood-sucking goat-shapeshifter and suddenly you're marked for life!
Anyway how'd I end up here? Used to work for another group, the Agency for the Elimination and Isolation of Mary-Sues. We sealed off original fic universes so that Sueish influence doesn't cross over into other universes and break the Multiverse.
So yeah, the director of my former organization hated me. Don't ask me why, I'm a perfectly personable person once you get to know me! Sure I have my weaknesses: sadistic tendencies, a sarcastic attitude, a very, very, very low tolerance for stupidity. Maybe a bit of an ego... but don't we all have our flaws? Anyway, don't listen to what the other agents'll tell you about the reason for my former boss hating me being evil robot armies. It's all lies.
There was also this thing with my partner, but again I don't talk about it. Seriously, what happened between me and Miss Mingan is my own business.
Anyway, the Director had a few talks with the guys over here. Apparently he decided this was a job I was “better suited for.” Apparently, he thought me too bloodthirsty for my own good. I'd like to take this moment to point out, up to that point I had never killed a Sue in my life (though you have no idea how many times I came this close.), and his accusations are completely unfounded. So now I've got a talking flower as my boss. *sigh* My life is really odd. Also I miss my Black Box. 'Least I've still got my Tesla...
My New Partner, Miss Nolórë, is a bit of a thorn in my side. Haughty and proud as any Noldo could be expected to be. Also, she's just no fun. Won't let me near any of her cool toys and she complains about my music constantly! Not to mention how she just ignores my obvious flirting. Not that I like her or anything, I do that with most women. Mostly, I try to avoid her when I can. Either that or try to get on her nerves.
So yeah, anyway, If I'm not on a mission you'll usually see me working on my computer or something. You know, making it better, I do that sort of thing. Techie stuff. Usually it's for the better, though there was that one incident with the killer toaster.... I don't really talk about it.
If I'm not responding to you check my ears. Headphones are probably in and I can't hear you. Listen to a lot of different stuff, mostly metal, but not always. Favorite bands: Battlelore, Blind Guardian, Sonata Arctica, Hammerfall, Omnia.
Well, it's been a pleasure, now if you don't mind there's a robotized i-pod walking around somewhere with a laser and an urge to kill. Don't ask.
Agent Ataralassië:
Agent Name: Ataralassië Nolórë
Race: Elf, Noldor.
Original Continuum: LotR/the Silmarillion
Object of Lust: She won't tell me!
*watches Naiton wander off. Shakes head.* He is more trouble than he is worth. Don not let him near anything you have a close attachment to.
So, you wish to know about me? What is there to say, really? I am a rather simple Nissi. I grew up in Tirion, of course. My family was in the service of the House of Fëanor. I could tell you about my life up until the Rebellion of the Noldor and our return to Endórë, though I imagine you would get bored rather quickly, it is perfect in Aman after all and while perfection is a wonderful state to live in, it- unfortunately- makes for a very poor story.
But, I shall tell you a few things I suppose. I had two younger sisters who could not seem to go a day without causing some kind of trouble for me. Somehow though, I managed to put up with them. Ammë once said I had “unending patience.” Considering that I put up with Naiton on a day-to-day basis, I am rather inclined to agree. I spent my free time either exploring and wandering or buried up to by neck in old lore books. I have always been a seeker of knowledge.
The Kinslaying. *sigh* The acts committed there are deeds that still haunt me. They are the one thing I will not speak of. I can still hear their cries sometimes, and at night, visions of that bloodshed still haunt me. Does it effect me when dealing with Sues? No more than dealing with an orc, perhaps even less. You cannot hesitate when dealing with such creatures. Though they wear the mask of a Child of Ilúvatar (usually), they are worse than the foulest demons of Morgoth.
So no, I do not let it effect me. I try not to at least. Naiton says I act cold sometimes. I respond by telling Naiton that he acts like an idiot sometimes. It all balances out in the end.
Shall we talk of something else now? Please? What is that you say? You wish to know how I came to be here? Very well then. Though you must promise not to laugh, you might aggravate that pride we Noldor are known for and then who knows what might happen? *is only joking...mostly...*
Now, we all know of the plot-holes and such that began to appear in Arda after the release of the Lord of the Rings movies? The fictions made by some of those authors warped the fabric of Eä so much that it created plot-holes back as far as the First Age.
I fell into one. Quite literally! I was was walking along and I er...just fell into it. Admittedly, I have always been rather absentminded. I do not really pay as much attention as I should to my surroundings. When I came out of the other side of the plot-hole I ended up here.
I wonder sometimes if it isn't the result of the Doom of the North. “On the House of Fëanor, The wrath of the Valar lieth from the West unto the uttermost East, and upon all that will follow them it shall be laid also.” and let's not forget this line: “To evil end shall all things turn that they begin well.”
Making Naiton my partner is most certainly an “evil end.” I am also considered one of the unluckiest Agents in this place. Shall we get into how many times I have nearly been shot, run over, hexed, Sued, and, in one instance, pushed into a Volcano? I do believe they are running bets over what turn my fate will take next.
*Shakes head.* Well, is that all? I- *hears a crash. Turns around. Face suddenly turns to a mask of rage.*
Enfret! What are you doing with my bow? *grabs sword and stalks off to the other room, where Naiton is.* What did I say about touching my things?