Subject: But but but-
Author:
Posted on: 2011-12-10 20:21:00 UTC
I have a mug and everything! How would I get one of those if I didn't work here and it was all in the darkness of my own mind, huh?
And you have to be insane to work here anyways- well probably, I guess, I'm not really sure what with Library because she seems to be sane, but then again who knows with the Flowers.
Specifically, it's the notorious Hetalia fic "Debt", in which China mutilates England and America for no real reason. I don't know whether this would qualify as Disturbing Acts of Violence or Bad Slash, or if my assassin characters could take it. They're specifically forbidden from taking on pure Bad Slash after a nasty accident during a Gorillaz mission, but the China character is probably a replacement so they could get him under the heading of Villain Stu. Thoughts? (If they can, I have an idea for how to execute him which, while technically falling under the PPC's "no torture" restriction, could be "fun". Then again it's probably far too quick for the creepy bastard. I'm open to anyone who has suggestions.)
If my assassins can't take this mission, I'm throwing it open to anyone else, because my Bad Slashers wouldn't know anything about Hetalia and making them do guro is probably a bad move.
If it does get done, I have some other questions; namely, what do we do to patch up England and America? They'd be missing limbs and eyes if we got to them anywhere later than the first chapter, and Doc Fitz specifically can't regrow limbs, as seen with Ithalond, so would the agents have to collect the severed bits? And what about their eyeballs? I considered classing them as replacements, but they have the same problem Redtooth had during the spear incident, namely that they don't get a chance to actually show any character except "being in extreme pain" so I don't think it counts.
Also, a question about the workings of Hetalia; we know from canon that harm done to the country as a whole harms the nation's representative, as seen when England gets a cold because of economy problems, but does it work the other way? I don't know if this is ever mentioned in canon. It's mentioned in the fic that the harm done to the representatives caused an increase in violent crime in their respective countries, but if that does work, then considering canon portrayed both World Wars as about as serious as a paintball game, I'm pretty sure something much worse should be happening.
I'm thinking the China character is a replacement. Sure, in canon China has gotten angry before (he broke holes through several walls when he got fed up in one episode), but he would never go so far as to do what that China in the fic does. (Sure, I only read the first chapter, but I think that's enough to understand his behavior...) I would suggest not too violent of an execution, however.
As to workings within Hetalia, I don't think the harm done to America and England would cause spikes in violent crime. Considering that such an incident would probably never come up besides in this fic I would think that it wouldn't affect the country. My theory tends to be that scars and serious wounds and the like are usually representative of actual events such as battles and perhaps large national tragedies (I do believe China has a large scar on his back from a war with Japan), and that it would probably not occur the other way around. Most people would probably agree along those lines (though other fans correct me if I'm wrong). That help some?
I'd send them to DAVD's Medical section. Those guys are set up specifically to handle DAVD worthy cases.
Although, I usually just kind of gloss over what Medical does. The agents deliver the canons. The Nurses take them into a room, and the agents wait.
I once said that Dr. Watson had literal cobwebs in his brain that Medical had to remove. In the same mission Holmes died from an OD of some mystery drug and they were both fine within an hour.
Oh and don't forget Bacta. That stuff is awesome.
I don't want to read any more missions where the Agents have "fun" with killing the Sue. I'm sick of them.
For that matter I've been really weirded out with some of your recent work, though since you'd been here longer I felt kind of uncomfortable saying anything. I don't know if that was your intention or not, but it was the end effect and it really made me reconsider what I wanted to see out of not only your stuff but my own, and PPC work in general.
This isn't the best place for it so that's all I'm going to say, but I'd really prefer to talk some more about this and voice concerns if you're willing to chat more privately.
Now, all that nasty stuff said, considering that Hetalia IS a light canon the best solution would be a light one. If you can't just repair the eyes and the fic argues that harm done is represented by crime, then replace England's eyes with security cameras--wouldn't be hard for DoSAT to gin up some mini-sized ones. Blink, and they're back to being eyes, and you get a solid Britisher joke out of it too.
Limbs can probably just be reattached by Medical, but a similar analogy can likely be drawn if not to go with the crime theme. Represent the restoration of a "long arm of the law" with like a taser or pepper spray.
And while I'm making suggestions, since Villain Stus are so rare, I think the Medical Study subsection would adore you if you could capture the China replacement alive instead of straight killing him. That would be a fate worse than death, for sure.
1) Having fun with killing methods has been a staple of the PPC for years. Half karmic death and half frustration relief is actually the "correct" course of action.
Obviously, extremely gory or otherwise discutible deaths should be avoided, but remember this - PPC isn't epic or realistic. Is wacky and funny. It's a parody.
About you explanation of medical work, I appreciate the joke but Medical works this way: you bring in messed up canon character, you retire it after a while perfectly fine. The exact methods, since Medical uses stuff from... well, every canon, should be left to imagination.
Patching up a canon character Robocop-style just feels really, really wrong to me.
..with the 'extremely gory or otherwise' in describing things and with the deaths, to the point where there was a general requested injunction against doing any more fics in general that try to top previous ones for sheer shock or offense factors alone, a few years ago.
Also, with Joe's explanation, I doubt it was intended to be a 'everything goes like this all the time', so yours is coming off as a bit of a command to what you seem to be taking as a bit of a command, since again, as you said, everything can vary and exact methods need not be the same used later. The PPC is, after all, a patchjob in and of itself.
There's no such thing as the PPC, so claiming to be in it is clearly the result of, well, being delusional, like I said. Um. If there was a PPC I'd know about it, right? So there isn't. So this person can't be an agent of it and you're free to ignore them.
Um, sorry, this is, sorry, all a big mistake. I thought you were... no, sorry, okay, sorry, I thought you were the /other/ July... um, the one who's fictional and so doesn't exist. But you're a real person like all the rest of you - us - um.
Sorry. Just ignore me. Sorry.
What's going on?
We're not talking about my nutjob doppleganger, are we?
Because if we are she is delusional, but fictional is a bit too far cos I don't remember nonexistent burns hurting that much.
She's easily confused. The key point here is that there's no such thing as the PPC, therefore all those who claim there is are wrong, and must be convinced of that fact. Are you convinced, or do I need to convince you further?
PP
Wait, if there's no such thing as the PPC, where'm I working, then?
There is no 'work'. You're just insane - or lying, of course. It happens. Don't let it happen again, or there will be... consequences.
(Where /is/ Nita? She's supposed to be helping out here... oh, I see. Hmm)
PP
I have a mug and everything! How would I get one of those if I didn't work here and it was all in the darkness of my own mind, huh?
And you have to be insane to work here anyways- well probably, I guess, I'm not really sure what with Library because she seems to be sane, but then again who knows with the Flowers.
He's a little... dedicated. Obviously /you're/ real. We're just having a slight issue with trans-dimensional entanglement between the HQ network and this 'board'. The inhabitants of this world aren't very open-minded about other 'verses, so we're trying to keep them in the dark.
As for who 'we' are, we're just a group of concerned agents. Certainly not the DIO - there's /really/ no such thing. I myself am in the... er... Department of... er... look at the time must dash!
Justin Agent, just an agent
He did a patch job with one of the wall projects near the Cafeteria- I wouldn't be surprised if he's at fault, but no way he's going to be in any condition with that Christmas party happening. Probably drunk already, dumb elf.
...I should get headed there myself.
-D. Robbs, Building Maintenance
...Shoddily Thought Out Reasons and Yawings?
To me it sounded a lot like he was criticizing the "Sue killing with fun" as a whole. Well, everything's OK then.
Some of Laburnum's killing methods, in particular, have been a bit too gory to be really entertaining. For example, all the incidents that led up to the Rape Jar being brought in - rape, and using it as an execution method, just shouldn't be used as comedy.
Karmic death and frustration relief only go so far as acceptable excuses.
In this DAVD mission, we see Thranduil healed from being tortured almost to death and beheaded, so it looks like Medical can patch up anything.
They glue Thranduil's head back on, and if I recall correctly the TS missions ended with them having to reattach two severed penises.
Surgically reattaching original body parts is something even World One can do well these days, and Medical's advanced enough do do it even easier.
And I recall one of Trojie and Pads' missions where they had to rescue Snape after Lucius Malfoy surgically removed his bits, and he was fixed up okay. It was the mission that spawned the line (and later icon) "Don't ask questions, just grab that penis!"
It was even stated that they had to grab the, er, items in question so Doc Fitz could put them back.
So yeah, I think whoever takes it on should also get some sort of secure transportation - medical jars? - and be prepared to handle assorted unattached body parts.
I'm not terribly sure how to deal with their eyes, though - I think their eyes got squished, not just pulled out. Though it is fanon in some Hetalia circles that the nation personifications can regenerate damage done to their human bodies (they do canonically get scars from battles and disasters in their respective countries, IIRC), so maybe Medical could somehow use that?
As long as they have something to work with, Medical can do a lot.
And hey, they have access to all the tech in the multiverse, and I'm pretty sure I heard that Star Wars has the tech to clone body parts (though you'd have to ask someone like Rilwen for confirmation). So all you'd really need is the genetic sample - a bit of the squished eye, for example (ewwww) - and you're set.
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Ithalond couldn't get his hands back because he was an OC, while Medical has a much easier time getting canon characters back to full health because that's their appointed, canon state. It's the same reason Medical can bring dead canons back to life, but not agents; the true author's influence over the canon character is on Doc Fitz's side, helping put the canon back the way they belong.