I hereby hand you your very own personal Boxed Dwarf Star. Do be careful, tis very heavy, there's a good chap. So, Florida, would you happen to have ever heard of a Canon under the title of Cadfael? Don't worry, I'm not really asking you in particular, I'm just sort of searching for someone who knows it...

I'm sorry, I'm a little Odd. Most of us are, here. Leave your sanity by the door, there's a dear...

Rabid Hetalia fan freaked out at the name, but NO MATTER! Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here.

Hello and welcome! Have a Holy Hand Grenade (Warning: Do not use near rabbits.)

Welcome, new person. Also, have a cookie.

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolates, and enjoy your stay! So, what fandoms do you follow?

Hi, have some fudge!

*pokes the newbie* Oooohhh! Fun!

Ahem...

Welcome, fellow badfic hunter. So, of out curiosity, how did you find us?

Welcome aboard! Have a case of possibly-radioactive energy drinks! Twice the kick of a normal energy drink, and only a 33.3333333% chance to give you tongue cancer!

Greetings, new friend! Have a mystical sword that can only be wielded by the first person to touch it! . . . Oops. Sorry . . .

BTW, what are your fandoms?

Welcome to the Board. Here's a crate of Bleepka and your two cents.

Have an Official Hipster Scarf as a welcome present! (You've probably never heard of it)

Hello there, Florida! Pleased to meet you!
Here, have a "Got SPaG?" bumper sticker.