I've been waiting to present this since the last TIANATDATPPC! I'm not sure where the numerals are supposed to be at, so I'll just label them as "x" so they can be sorted out when collection stops.

x. I will not sing "Maria" from The Sound Of Music anywhere near Shadow the Hedgehog.

- Nor will I sing "Maria" from West Side Story. Shadow angsts over Maria enough without her getting turned into a Lust Object.

- I will definitely refrain from singing "The Hedgehog Song" anywhere near Shadow the Hedgehog.

- I will also not cite that episode from The Twilight Zone about the man-"serving" aliens.

- If I do, then I am not allowed to complain if he decides to torture or kill me.

x. Shipping an 8-year old is rather creepy. Especially with a 6-year old. ESPECIALLY when one's a fox and the other's a rabbit.

x. I will not tell Knuckles the Echidna about the White-nose syndrome.

- I am also not to actually give Knuckles a sample of the fungus responsible for it.

- Whatever I do, I am absolutely not to tell Knuckles to smear the fungus on the Master Emerald to keep bats away.

- If I do, I will have to foot the bill once Rouge the Bat winds up in the Medical department with deadly mind-controlling fungal spores infesting her body.

- I will also have nobody to blame but myself for whatever Shadow the Hedgehog does to me when he finds out.

- If I introduce a sample of said fungus to the Flowers, I deserve whatever horrible things they do to me.

- Bringing the fungus into the Stellaluna continuum (or any continuum that is primarily populated by bats) will most likely get me decommissioned.

- Though, if I want to use white-nose syndrome to get rid of Doppleganger!Rouges or other Mary Sue bats, I can go right ahead. It's not like the PPC hasn't done worse things to Mary-Sues already.

- If I do so, I must keep the infection contained so that it only affects the bats that I the PPC actually wants dead.

- Exposing chiopterate agents to the fungus is an especially bad idea.

- Batman is not actually a bat, and so will probably not be affected by the fungus. I still shouldn't attempt to expose him to it.

x. I will not portal Shadow the Hedgehog into My Immortal just to see what happens.

- Or for any reason whatsoever.

- Nor will I set up a cage match between Shadow and Sephiroth.

- Or between Shadow and any other characters commonly considered to be "emo" (regardless of whether or not they actually are).

- In fact, I will not set up emo cage matches, period.

- Especially not in the presence of fanbrats. That's just asking for trouble.

x. I will not arrange a meeting between Makes-Things and Dr. Robotnik. There's no way it could end well.

x. I will not portal Dr. Robotnik into the Star Fox universe. Nor will I portal Andross into the Sonic the Hedgehog universe.

- Portaling Tails onto Venom or Krystal into the Death Egg is strictly forbidden.

- Actually, the PPC should REALLY be keeping a close eye on ANY crossovers that involve mad scientists meeting up. Those sorts of things could get very ugly, very fast.

x. For the love of Glod, I must not attempt to ship Tails with any of the Flowers. Seedrians are something completely different, even if the Seedrians are also sentient plants.

- I must also not attempt to ship Tails with an Entwife. Nobody wants to think about the ramifications of that.

- Shipping Flowers with Entwives (or Ents) is also a no-no.

- Shipping Tails with Molly Rath will only get him maimed. And then Sonic will kill me.

- Tails + Redneck Trees = trip to FicPsych.

- Introducing the Flowers to the Redneck Trees will only get me assigned to a NSFB fic without any Bleeproducts.

x. Not allowed to recreate any scenarios from the list of Things Mr. Welch Is No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG.

x. I must not sic Dark-type Pokemon on the Flowers.

- Or Fire-type Pokemon.

- Or Flying-type Pokemon.

- No Ice-type Pokemon either.

- Bug-types are right out.

- No siccing Pokemon on the Flowers, period.

x. I should not attempt to use Technical Machines on the Flowers.

- No, not even if they actually want to know Giga Drain or Solarbeam. They torture the Agents extensively enough as is.

x. I should also not attempt to use evolutionary stones on the Flowers.

x. Tails is not a pre-evolved form of Vulpix. I must not convince Team Rocket that he is.

x. Agent Luxury + Gardevoir = a trip to the Fountain of Bleepka for everyone.

x. No singing "Stacey's Mom" around Cream or Vanilla.

- Especially if Vector is nearby.

x. A word cyclone is not an effective assassination method. Mary-Sues tend to be blissfully unaware of (and therefore immune to) the detrimental effects that they have on the canon.

1339- Imflammable means flammable. It does not mean "Drink Me."
1340. If an execution method involves a ferret, a pickaxe, and a small volume of poetry, it is best left to experts.
1341. The SO's office supplies are not edible.
1342. It is not funny to "MISTAKE" imflammable things for fertilizer.
1343. Minis are not to be given power tools.
1345. Or flamethrowers.(Honestly, people! this is a BIGGIE!)
1346. The "Exploding Stapler" incident is never to be brought up within the Marquis De Sod's hearing. EVER.

Now to send you off to reconditioning for being able to read that.