Subject: Thank you
Author:
Posted on: 2011-10-16 23:34:00 UTC
Thank you for the concrit. We're going to try to work on the saccharine level. Neither of us ever did the teenage romance thing, so at times it feels like the blind leading the blind. I'm glad you liked the make-out scene. That was hard to write. I have a bit more sympathy toward people who write shipfics now.
Mark Siena, Maria Nightingale, and Cadmar invite Miah and Cali to play Truth or Dare again! And this time, Florestan stumbles in, and ends up getting roped into it. Awkwardness ensues:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fLaeA8W2ar33PKWgsskKVzacaRO66XWZG41dHBpq2VA/edit?hl=en_US#
This was cowritten with Caddy, Miah, and myself, so fun times were had with that. And yes, this will segue directly into my next mission with Caddy, so keep your eyes peeled!
So, I hope you guys enjoy!
These agents definitely have a good sense of interplay. It really feels like these are a close group of friends, and I have to chalk that up to the quality of the writing. The dialogue is quite entertaining.
(SPOILERY)
I liked that Cali and Cadmar's first kiss was not this perfect romantic thing, what with the bumping of noses and the scraping of teeth and the accidentally causing the other person to gag. It felt very real to me.
(END OF SPOILERY)
That being said, I do feel that this story was a bit overly saccharine in places. Hey, I like romance as much as the next person. I have dabbled/am dabbling/will dabble with romantic entanglements in my own writing. But the romance here was just so... easy, I suppose. Even with the above spoiler, it felt simplified and fluffy.
Plus, I feel a bit like the Truth or Dare thing has been played out a bit. I don't know. Maybe you might mix it up with some 'Never Have I Ever' or something in the future.
Anyway, it was a little loose in areas but was otherwise a good interlude. I look forward to the future.
Thank you for the concrit. We're going to try to work on the saccharine level. Neither of us ever did the teenage romance thing, so at times it feels like the blind leading the blind. I'm glad you liked the make-out scene. That was hard to write. I have a bit more sympathy toward people who write shipfics now.
I can honestly agree with the overly saccharine comment, writing romance is a lot harder then one would expect. It would be something to work on, seeing as I will be working with Herr and Miah so much.
Yeah, Truth or Dare has been played out enough too, by the end, we we're basically saying we had run out of ideas for interesting things to happen. A different game in the future could be fun, shake thing up a bit, maybe include other people.
Thanks for the concrit, we appreciate it a lot!
Well, you certainly did your job well enough to keep me reading through to the end, so I'm going to go ahead and call it a successfully entertaining piece of work.
Which is basically my way of saying "I liked it." I always have fun reading awkward tension like that, so no real complaint here.
We are glad you liked it! ^_^