So, for those of you who don't know me, I apologise. What I'm about to say is not going to make any sense at all. It's not going to make much more sense to those of you who do know me, but that's not the point.

I am taking a hiatus. It's going to be at least a week, but it will be a lot longer than that.

Initially, I was not planning on saying much more than that, aside from "Yeah, personal problems, not anybody's fault, just need some time to work things out by myself."

However, I feel that I owe everyone an explanation.

It should be noted that what follows is
a) highly personal
b) very serious and
c) quite probably disturbing.

I apologise. However, I don't feel I can just leave without any hard feelings if I don't explain myself.

First, I need to make one thing very clear. THIS IS NOBODY'S FAULT. NOBODY IS TO BLAME FOR MY LEAVING. When I say I have personal issues, I mean it. The only person at fault -or involved, for that matter- is me.

http://disc.yourwebapps.com/discussion.cgi?disc=199610;article=203774;title=PPC%20Posting%20Board;pagemark=925 This was the thread I posted a year ago. I mentioned some personal problems there, but I didn't elaborate.

Now, if we go back even further, we have this: http://disc.yourwebapps.com/discussion.cgi?disc=199610;article=197072;title=PPC%20Posting%20Board;pagemark=1325 My initial introduction thread. I never posted anything outside of there until October.

That is because, almost exactly a week after that, I attempted suicide.

This was not my first attempt. It was, however, the closest I came to success.

Admittedly, this was not the initial reason for my hiatus. The primary reason was, at the time, something completely unrelated that I won't go into details of because it's mostly been resolved.

However, the reason why I bring the suicide attempt up is because the question of how long it takes for threads to drop off the Board arose. I thought "Huh. I wonder if my introduction post is still there?" I found it.

I had somehow... blocked off the fact that I almost successfully killed myself. I don't know how I did this, but I did. Seeing that initial post that I wrote a week before it happened unblocked that.

I don't want to share the details of how it happened. It's not exactly relevant. I'm sorry if I alienated anybody by writing this post, but I feel it needed to be done.

Because, to me, the PPC is almost like family. It's my favourite place, both online and off, and I don't feel I could leave it like this without an explanation.

I know this post is convoluted, and I apologise.

In case anybody is worried, I will be back.

Hopefully, it will be soon.

With all that said, good-bye.

I'm going to miss all of you.

-Tray-Gnome