I'd tackle-hug you, but I dunno how you are about physical touch, so I'll just offer you a cookie instead.

Vast von moment... *spits out vampire teeth* Ah, much better. Sorry about that, I was just playing Dracula yesterday and forgot to drop the voice. Anyway, welcome!

Ah, an Anime fan I see. Well, I must admit, I am not a huge fan of the art style, but feel free to enjoy what you will.

Now, by custom I have to give you a gift. Let's see... Do you like Fullmetal Alchemist? Well, here, have a cheap copy of the Philosopher's Stone. Use it's powers for good and mild amusement.

Aah. Welcome gift, welcome gift... Here. One ice box filled with cookies of your choice. Don't ask why they're in the ice box.

Welcome aboard! 0w0

Here's a virtual penumbuk padi. Useful to punch rice, but don't ask me why we like to punch rice. We Nusantaraeans just do.

Well, hello there and stuff. Take this pen for proofreading! It may or may not contain glittery Sue blood. But doesn't everybody correct things with red ink?

We really do. We like to eat them with bleepolate sauce--

Sorry. I think that's the lousy part of my sense of humor talking.

We really do like newbies, though, although we do tend not to eat them. Actually, I don't think there's ever been a record of us eating them... *looks around shiftily*

Anyway! Hi, welcome to the Board! I'm DawnFire, as you can probably guess. We seem not to share any fandoms, but don't worry! I can still give you even more bleeproducts (you seem to be gaining rather a lot) as a Welcome Gift! Here, have some Swiss Bleepolate and some Gummyblee Stars (which can be ironic if Lucky Star has nothing at all to do with stars, and appropriate if it has everything to do with stars). They're quite useful for reading badfic...

~DF

Welcome, welcome to the PPC! Here, have an Odd Container as a welcome present!


Odd Container
Item Level 1
Chance on Opening: Receive one huggle OR one spray of confetti -- your choice.
[This container is perfectly spherical and fashioned from glite-painted wood. Its weight changes at odd intervals, and you can't shake the feeling that opening it may prove hazardous to your health]

...Ignore the flavor text, it doesn't like me.

Welcome to the PPC. It seems that most of the standard questions (Have you read the Constitution?/read the Original Series?/seen the Wiki?) have all been asked or alluded to already, leaving but one left: How did you run across the PPC?

Either way, I hope that you find your stay here to be pleasurable. As SpecstacularSC said, guiding people with writing issues tends to be our thing. Why, we recently helped someone concerned that she was writing a Suefic because her OC was slated to be related to a canon character!

But enough Serious Business; time for gifts! So...
*rummages through Pokemon-trainer-issue bag of holding*
Aha!
*pulls out item*
Have a Spirited Away poster! Hope you like it!

I feel so seasoned! Two newbies since I joined! (Which would be a whopping week ago. -.-)

Indulge in this delectable platter of marinated loon liver. No, not the liver, the platter. Don't be disgusting. Who eats loon liver anyway?

Also, have a dysfunctional peashooter. It works superbly for launching green beans at high velocity, but I can't get it to shoot a single darned pea...




And because you don't think anyone would bother with questions...

What's your favorite color?

Do you like Cane toads?

Which would surprise you more, an acrobatic komodo dragon swinging from your ceiling while spewing black jellybeans out of its tarnished oboe... or Superman sneezing?

Name one of the emperors who reigned during the Visigoth ocupation of the Roman empire.

What is your great-uncle's middle name?

Do you spontaneously burst into giggles whenever someone mentions deceased puppies?

Would you rather eat hummus without pita bread or pita bread without hummus?

You say your are confident with your spelling and grammar skills... but are you confident in your ability to intimidate a honey badger? O.e


I'm Len, by the way. Nice to meet you.

...share some of my chemical supplies, but there's the problem that I don't have any.

I hope you've received enough Bleep* to last, though.

Welcome, fellow newbie, I'm Kitt! Have a bar of Blip Blap!

Be sure to ask questions. Trust me, you'll need to.

Greetings, new friend! Have a auto-sweat drop emitter!

And, not to worry! We'll have that overconfidence knocked down in a jiffy!

Always with the new members and the-

Ha haaa, I can't take myself seriously enough to finish that.

Just messing with you - welcome to the board! No worries about your issues, we're here to help you fix them. It's kind of the PPC's whole deal, really.

Well, that and general wackiness.

As a welcome gift, have some BleepNerds, I have an excess stock of this stuff anyhow. Brain bleach and tiny, tangy candies combined into sweet tooth bliss against bad fanfiction! :D

Ooh, a newbie! Hi!

And th'art not boring, really, even if I don't know any of your fandoms. I'm a fantasy book girl, mostly.

As for a gift, hmmm... Oh! Here, have one (1) Lined Infinite Notebook, featuring urple covers and wilver binding. Open the package at your eyes' own risk.

And since no one else has asked, have you read the Origial Series?

-Aila

You mentioned Lucky star, but do you have any other anime fandoms you can think of? Or books, movies, videogames, other cartoons, or live-action TV? A list of fandoms tends to be appreciated, especially since it can let people know what gifts to give you.

Oh, also. Wiki link. That's The Board Constitution, in case you missed it, and it connects to the main wiki, to catch you up on the spin-offs.

Let's see, do I have anything anime-related in my gift bags... (rummages) Ah, here we go. Have a spiky-haired wig! Shock the barber! Convince your friends you're a manga protagonist! Roast marshmallows on the pointy ends!

Also, you created a Naruto mini down there, so I will also present you with Naurto, the mini-Kurama! Also called a mini-Kyūbi, but nobody's keyboard has that weird ū letter, so people who call it that will approximate it to Kyuubi in missions and such.

Don't sell yourself short; we all start somewhere. As for writing talent, you're probably better than you think. Why not link to samples of your writing?

Have a fountain pen (urple ink so use it sparingly) and welcome to the PPC!

Welcome! It would appear that I'm the first person to welcome you to the Board. (I'll leave all the jokes for the vets.)

But, yeah. In case you haven't already, check out the Wiki and the Constitution and all that shtuff.

As for your obsession with Japanese animation and illustration, do you follow Naruto? Ever heard of Studio Ghibli?

But enough questions for now- everyone else will ask plenty. Have a fluffy velociraptor!