I liked it, a lot! Ally and Grace are fun to read, and Gaius was funny too. They play off of each other nicely. Your explanations of why the things the Sue did were good as well.

I can't wait to read more of them in the future! :D

I have decided to keep Gaius, who will continue to advise my agents in the future. :)

A) A NCIS:LA sporking. Goody!

B) Smart board, heh.

C) The name "Reagan" and the misspelling "tuff" go together. I've seen it before in the Blue Bloods fanfiction section.

D) Well, this is new-- a fan who has a Lust Object that doesn't just make a beeline for Deeks. I'm relieved.

E) Kensi's not afraid of any new ... mammal of the female persuasion... usurping her place because SHE CAN TAKE ... any mammal of any persuasion... ANY DAY.

F) Ah, a Densi shipper. *tries to look wise and fails*

G) Do you think Hetty's dead? Do you think they're trying to set up a Ship Tease for Callen/Lauren like they do with Deeks/Kensi?

D)

Does anyone else think I should make a page on the wiki for Gaius? He isn't an agent, but he could end up going on more missions in the future, depending on whether he gets adopted or not.

And 1 (1) Navy Seal, who will be kept and hugged repeatedly by Agent Ally.

Given that Kensi is definitely one of my favorite characters in this fandom, I can see why there was so much rage against the twisting of her personality. Good job with this, though at times it felt a little rushed. I was confused a bit at the reference to the character from the fandom with the genetic meddling, though, as I'm not sure I caught which fandom it was.

There were some great moments in here, from playing around with errors in the badfic, especially Gaius. He instantly made me think of Plank, from Ed, Edd n Eddy (even though Plank never spoke). And Plank was awesome. By the way, you forgot to include the navy seal in your "things acquired" list. And seals are adorable, even if they aren't as awesome as Gaius.

Also, when you have a mission that contains a lot of swearing like this one, it would be appreciated if you could warn for that, at least in the opening author note if not in the Board post. Thank you!

The balance of fic to mission was much better this time. I definitely found myself sympathizing with the agents and disliking the Sue, and I don't even follow this show. (The original NCIS, yes, but the LA one didn't manage to hook me the same way.) Given that one of my agents has her condition (though I've never referred to it by name), she really made me twitch on his behalf. There are downsides to remembering every little thing, dangnabbit. It's not just a free pass to awesomeness. Nume only gets to be semi-normal because of chemically impossible brain bleach on which he's become psychologically dependent. {= P

I might have handled Kensi differently. The way you describe it, I suspect she might have some OOC resistance. A regular character in the Sue's position might not actually be able to usurp her position, but a Sue definitely can and will, so I'd say her suspicion was quite perceptive and entirely justified if she did indeed have an inkling of what was really going on. If that's the case, she could be a useful ally sometimes, like Gimli and Eowyn. Not knowing the character, though, I can't make the case any better than that. On the other hand, I was hoping you'd use the Conflictus creatrix after you mentioned it. What mission did that come from, or is it your own idea?

Sort of related to this, do mind the level of animosity. It's good that it was commented on and disapproved of, but to paraphrase Acacia, be careful not to let these things turn your agent or yourself into a common flamer. If it gets too personal, it's a good idea to step back and calm down before continuing, because frankly it's hard to be funny when you're that angry. If you ever find it's not about the writing anymore, pass the fic to someone else to spork.

Gaius is awesome. I don't know if you're familiar with the Battlestar Galactica reboot, but with the British accent, I can't help but hear him in the voice of Gaius Baltar. And, if you've seen the special features, there's one where the actor is talking about his character and sitting at a keyboard, and he breaks into a song. It starts out sweet: "Gaius Baltar..." and then it breaks into something like thrasher metal: "HE'S THE MOTHAF***IN' S**T, HE'S THE MOTHAF***IN' S**T!" So, yes. Gaius Smart Board. He's the mothaf***in' s**t. *grin*

I spotted a couple of continuity mistakes:

1. "Grace returned half an hour later, accompanied by two minis. 'Hey, guys. I found a mini.'" —Just one mini, right?

2. They talk about what to do with Gaius twice. The first time, Gaius requests to be taken with the agents when they leave and suggests that he could be an adviser. The second time is at the end: Gaius asks what he might be able to do in the PPC, and Grace suggests that he could be an adviser, like it hadn't come up before.

So, keep working at it, use a beta if you can, and I'll look forward to the next one. {= )

~Neshomeh

Gaius The Smart Board is one of the best ideas I've ever seen in the PPC. Keep up the good work!

Admittedly, I'm more familiar with the original NCIS than the spin-off... but I still enjoy it all the same.

That being said, can I reserve a mini dragon (perhaps the green one) for when I get around to writing missions?

I think my only issue with it is that you could've summarized the stuff you skipped over in a more interesting way. But other than that, this was a fun mission, especially with how you handled the word mishaps.

Also, Gaius sounds awesome.

I think I'd actually like to adopt two of the mini dragons for my Floaters RC. So... yeah, I'll take 'em off your hands if you don't mind.