That... was really terrible. Sporking was definitely warranted.

The good news is, it was funny, and I'd definitely read more of these if you write them. The bad news is that I think you're going overboard on the author-bashing. You can say the writing is idiotic all you want, and by all means call out the narrative voice, but if we insult the author, a human being, it makes us look like bullying jackasses, and we're not. {= )

~Neshomeh, who is still tempted occasionally, but finds that substituting "narrator" or "narrative" for "author" works like a charm and is, in fact, more to the point—writing talent does not necessarily correlate with overall intelligence.

I might be wrong, but Lord help me ... are there PPC agents involved?!

Sounds like an MSTing is in order.

What the f is this? I mean, there are PWP fics better than this.

The... THING was one of the worst things I've ever read. Good job sporking it!